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Bob Newhart Quotes

Bob Newhart Quote: “I am a minimalist. I like saying the most with the least.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “Don’t be silly and don’t waste your time.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “Television series are like the stock market. There’s room for bears and bulls but no room for pigs.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “The only way to survive is to have a sense of humour.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “All I can say about life is, ‘Oh God, enjoy it!’”
Bob Newhart Quote: “One of the first things you ever learn as a stand-up is don’t show fear.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “I didn’t need the elf outfit to play an elf; I could just play an elf.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “I feel more comfortable in comedy.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “You should have a value system. You can win if you stick with your value system.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “There are a lot of questions I keep asking myself about why I do comedy. I guess I laugh to keep from crying. And I guess if you ever get me crying, I might not stop. This is the way I look at tragedy or else I’ll cry.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “Doormen are kind of invisible, people don’t know their names. They just say, Thank you, or Good morning. I’d never thought about doormen before. They’re a vanishing breed. More electronic doors are being introduced.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “You shouldn’t get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “People with a sense of humor tend to be less egocentric and more realistic in their view of the world and more humble in moments of success and less defeated in times of travail.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “The problem is that we live in an uptight country. Why don’t we just laugh at ourselves? We are funny. Gays are funny. Straights are funny. Women are funny. Men are funny. We are all funny, and we all do funny things. Let’s laugh about it.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “The best advice I could give someone trying to get into the comedy field is to take advantage of every opportunity you have to work to hone your skills.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “I don’t want to find the secret. I’m afraid all the joy will go out of it if I find the secret.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “Don’t ever have two dogs. That way you won’t know which one to blame.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that. Don’t rush into adulthood, it isn’t all that much fun.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “I’m most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don’t have that, you really don’t have very much.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “I worked in accounting for two and a half years, realized that wasn’t what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, and decided I was just going to give comedy a try.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “More and more, as I get older, people come up to me and say, ‘Thank you for all the laughter.’ And my standard answer is, ‘It was my pleasure.’ But that’s the truth.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “Cell phones have gotten so small, you can’t tell who’s a cell phone user and who’s a schizophrenic.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “It’s getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “There’s a lot of cynicism. Let’s really enjoy Christmas, with all that’s going on in the world.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “One of the first things that you learn as a stand-up is, you’re the boss. It’s your stage, and don’t screw with me because I’ll make you look bad, which I had to do, because you wind up with drunks and loud people.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “I was not influenced by Jack Benny, and people have remarked on my timing and Jack’s timing, but I don’t think you can teach timing. It’s something you hear in your head.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “Sometimes you forget you’re famous. You wonder, Why is that person staring at me?”
Bob Newhart Quote: “I really don’t know what makes a comedian. I think it’s a family background and environment. Yet if you put the same ingredients in another person, he may never utter a funny line.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “Marriage and fatherhood heighten the disillusion that we all think we are born handy. We confidently believe that we can fix things around the house, as if it’s part of the collective brain that was further enhanced by eighth-grade shop class.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I’m not about to screw with it now.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “I think one reason for a successful marriage is laughter. I think laughter gets you through the rough moments in a marriage.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “I love portraying the totally indifferent person.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “There’s gratification in making somebody laugh. It’s a wonderful sound. I find myself, to this day, doing it, wanting to make people laugh.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “Because of the spin-meisters and the focus groups and the way politics is run now. It’s run by polls and focus groups. So it’s even more true today, I think, than it was some 40 years ago.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “Humor’s a weapon if you want to make it one.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “The reason I’m a psychologist is based in part on my telephone routines. Much of my humor comes out of reaction to what other people are saying. A psychologist is a man who listens, who is sympathetic.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “The only thing I have never done is a Broadway play. I’m not sure I have the discipline necessary to do a Broadway play. I know it holds a fascination for certain actors.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “Every new routine I have ever written and performed probably occurred extemporaneously. Then after you have fleshed it out and tried it out in front of a number of audiences and it works, you put it down on paper.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “I think that what comes through in Chicago humor is the affection. Even though youre poking fun at someone or something, theres still an affection for it.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “I don’t have a stack of scripts.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “You do a clean show and it’s over and the audience have enjoyed themselves and you’ve enjoyed yourself, and you haven’t had to resort to shock.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “I wasn’t much good. When I went into the line on a fake – I would holler ‘I don’t have it!’”
Bob Newhart Quote: “I’ve been told to speed up my delivery when I perform. But if I lose the stammer, I’m just another slightly amusing accountant.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “Women are more emotional. They do get flustered. Which is not to say that men are better than they. It’s simply the way it is.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “Well, my career choice made a difference because I never would have met my wife, Jenny. I met her through comedian Buddy Hackett. He set us up on a blind date and then we got married.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “I can’t remember the last live-action, non-animated Christmas movie.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “I don’t have a show anymore. I don’t have a check coming in every week. This is important to me, I got to score a million tonight or it could all be over.”
Bob Newhart Quote: “I couldn’t play off people that I don’t personally like.”
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