Top 40 Bobby Heenan Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “You know they say money can’t buy happiness. Give me 50 bucks and watch me smile.”

— Bobby Heenan

2. “The money’s the same, whether you earn it or scam it.”

— Bobby Heenan

3. “Its amazing that Lou Ferrigno can talk with fifty pounds of cracker in his mouth.”

— Bobby Heenan

4. “You’re 83? Really? You don’t look it. I would’ve guessed 81 or 82.”

— Bobby Heenan

5. “Janetty tried to dive through the window to escape, what an act of cowardice.”

— Bobby Heenan

6. “Remember folks, fish are like relatives. After two days, they stink.”

— Bobby Heenan

7. “Its a dog eat dog world, and Mr. Perfect is a Milk Bone.”

— Bobby Heenan

8. “You don’t have to yell at me Schiavone. I’m not blind!”

— Bobby Heenan

9. “I’m a legend in this sport. If you don’t believe me, ask me.”

— Bobby Heenan

10. “If you’re poor and you do something stupid, you’re nuts. If you’re rich and do something stupid, you’re eccentric.”

— Bobby Heenan

11. “I know all about cheating. I’ve had six very successful marriages.”

— Bobby Heenan

12. “You’d have a good voice, if it ever came out of your throat.”

— Bobby Heenan

13. “He’s the only man I know of who can hide his own easter eggs.”

— Bobby Heenan

14. “The two things that scare me most about wrestling fans is that they’re allowed to vote and allowed to reproduce.”

— Bobby Heenan

15. “You win some and you lose some. Unless you’re Virgil, then you lose them all.”

— Bobby Heenan

16. “By the time The Iron Sheik gets to the ring, it will be Wrestlemania 37!”

— Bobby Heenan

17. “This guy makes coffee nervous.”

— Bobby Heenan

18. “Tito Santana is like a cue-ball. The more you strike him, the more english you get out of him.”

— Bobby Heenan

19. “North Dakota State. What do you have to do there to graduate? Milk a cow with your left hand?”

— Bobby Heenan

20. “The bad thing about the Bushwhackers is that win, lose, or draw, you gotta have everything you got on fumigated.”

— Bobby Heenan

21. “Hawaii’s the 50th state? I thought it was a suburb of Guam.”

— Bobby Heenan

22. “I asked Stu Hart earlier. I said, ‘Stu, you gotta be proud of your boys.’ He said, ‘I have boys?’”

— Bobby Heenan

23. “Are there any swamps in Oklahoma? Yes, there is. It’s called Tulsa.”

— Bobby Heenan

24. “There’s nothing better than a good, blind referee.”

— Bobby Heenan

25. “Oh, I knew he was gonna do that. I just knew he was gonna do that. He don’t need Jannetty. I told you that off and on.”

— Bobby Heenan

26. “What are you doing, looking at me with one eye and chasing a fly with the other?”

— Bobby Heenan

27. “To Jim Duggan, taking a shower is a high risk maneuver.”

— Bobby Heenan

28. “I heard a rumor that your mom and dad ran away from home.”

— Bobby Heenan

29. “When’s the last time you went into a barber shop and saw everyone there unconsious?”

— Bobby Heenan

30. “Once you wrestke Rikki Atakki, an hour later you want to wrestle him again.”

— Bobby Heenan

31. “And for those of you that dropped out of high school, remember the famous phrase: ‘Do you want fries with that?’”

— Bobby Heenan

32. “Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire. They’re a lovely twosome, or threesome, or foursome, or twenty-fifthsome.”

— Bobby Heenan

33. “Obviously some cheap motel is missing a shower curtain.”

— Bobby Heenan

34. “It’s very hard to get out of this hold, that’s why you either have to scoot backwards, move forwards, or try to get up.”

— Bobby Heenan

35. “Stu Hart trained all his kids – only three of them use the litter box.”

— Bobby Heenan

36. “Have you ever been to Glens Falls? The city limits signs are on the same post.”

— Bobby Heenan

37. “He’s not pointing to anybody, he’s showing off how high he can count!”

— Bobby Heenan

38. “I’d love to be popular in Barcelona. That sounds like a fun job.”

— Bobby Heenan

Featured in: Fun Quotes

39. “You can win, it’ll just cost you some money.”

— Bobby Heenan

40. “When The Phenoix Suns are missing two basketballs, they’ll know where to look!”

— Bobby Heenan

41. “If you ever had your moon salted you’d know how painful that could be.”

— Bobby Heenan

42. “They’re living proof that the 3 stooges had children.”

— Bobby Heenan

43. “There’s the downtown area of Tupelo. Did you see the skyscrapers? Two stories.”

— Bobby Heenan

Featured in: Quotes About Stories

44. “Just look at the way he hangs in mid air!”

— Bobby Heenan

45. “There’s a counter for every hold and a hold for every counter, and a lunch counter for every person that you know Schivone.”

— Bobby Heenan

46. “He looks like something that fell out of a deck of cards!”

— Bobby Heenan