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Top 15 Bruce Lansky Quotes (2025 Update)

Bruce Lansky Quote: “In Minnesota it’s so cold some nights you have to wear two condoms.”
Bruce Lansky Quote: “You always nag the one you love.”
Bruce Lansky Quote: “When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: ‘Fetch!’”
Bruce Lansky Quote: “We learn so many things from golf: how to suffer, for instance.”
Bruce Lansky Quote: “I don’t think I’ll live long enough to shoot my age. I’m lucky to shoot my weight.”
Bruce Lansky Quote: “I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing. Now I go to practice slicing without swearing.”
Bruce Lansky Quote: “I’ll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine.”
Bruce Lansky Quote: “My ex-wife has never broken 150. I wish she would stop telling people I taught her how to play golf.”
Bruce Lansky Quote: “Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.”
Bruce Lansky Quote: “On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating. The other 20 percent lied.”
Bruce Lansky Quote: “Talking to a golf ball won’t do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.”
Bruce Lansky Quote: “My psychiatrist prescribed a game of golf as an antidote to the feelings of euphoria I experience from time to time.”
Bruce Lansky Quote: “The only place you’re sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother.”
Bruce Lansky Quote: “What’s the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole?”
Bruce Lansky Quote: “Some golfers fantasize about playing in a foursome with Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus, and Sam Snead. The way I hit I’d rather play in a foursome with Helen Keller, Ray Charles, and Stevie Wonder.”
Bruce Lansky Quote: “The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray.”
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