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Top 10 Bruce Vilanch Quotes (2025 Update)

Bruce Vilanch Quote: “What makes me laugh? Richard Nixon always made me laugh.”

1. “What makes me laugh? Richard Nixon always made me laugh.”

— Bruce Vilanch

Bruce Vilanch Quote: “They make a humongous profit, but the people that work on the shows don’t get paid a lot because they’re working on the Oscars show. It’s the biggest show in the world.”

2. “They make a humongous profit, but the people that work on the shows don’t get paid a lot because they’re working on the Oscars show. It’s the biggest show in the world.”

— Bruce Vilanch

Bruce Vilanch Quote: “To be gay and out of shape is almost as much of a stigma as just being gay used to be.”

3. “To be gay and out of shape is almost as much of a stigma as just being gay used to be.”

— Bruce Vilanch

Bruce Vilanch Quote: “It’s the biggest party in the world, and you have to keep the whole thing percolating, which is difficult because a lot of awards most people don’t care about.”

4. “It’s the biggest party in the world, and you have to keep the whole thing percolating, which is difficult because a lot of awards most people don’t care about.”

— Bruce Vilanch

Bruce Vilanch Quote: “I have one rave New York Times review framed next to a flop Los Angeles Times review. And it’s for the same show. These people watched the same show. That’s what happens. They love it, they hate it.”

5. “I have one rave New York Times review framed next to a flop Los Angeles Times review. And it’s for the same show. These people watched the same show. That’s what happens. They love it, they hate it.”

— Bruce Vilanch

Bruce Vilanch Quote: “I’ve written about 15 screenplays and they all sold – they were all sold on pitches.”

6. “I’ve written about 15 screenplays and they all sold – they were all sold on pitches.”

— Bruce Vilanch

Bruce Vilanch Quote: “I like that we don’t have to come out the first 10 minutes and score, you know, with joke, joke, joke. We can open it in a more novel way and keep playing different pranks as we go through the thing.”

7. “I like that we don’t have to come out the first 10 minutes and score, you know, with joke, joke, joke. We can open it in a more novel way and keep playing different pranks as we go through the thing.”

— Bruce Vilanch

Bruce Vilanch Quote: “I write screenplays that don’t get made and pilots that don’t get picked up, and I re-write other people’s movies, and those are all different kinds of fees.”

8. “I write screenplays that don’t get made and pilots that don’t get picked up, and I re-write other people’s movies, and those are all different kinds of fees.”

— Bruce Vilanch

Bruce Vilanch Quote: “I mean, I’ve sold all these scripts and nothing’s been made. Studios have closed, stars have died. I had a director find Jesus. And the pictures just don’t get made.”

9. “I mean, I’ve sold all these scripts and nothing’s been made. Studios have closed, stars have died. I had a director find Jesus. And the pictures just don’t get made.”

— Bruce Vilanch

Bruce Vilanch Quote: “Generally with the Oscars or the Emmys there isn’t much you can do until the nominations are announced. Then you know what kind of year you’re dealing with – what’s been overlooked, what the issues are.”

10. “Generally with the Oscars or the Emmys there isn’t much you can do until the nominations are announced. Then you know what kind of year you’re dealing with – what’s been overlooked, what the issues are.”

— Bruce Vilanch

Bruce Vilanch Quote: “I mean, when I started out I was billing per hour, like a shrink because you would sit with somebody and work. But most of it, if it’s for a live show it’s usually a buy-out. A flat fee.”

11. “I mean, when I started out I was billing per hour, like a shrink because you would sit with somebody and work. But most of it, if it’s for a live show it’s usually a buy-out. A flat fee.”

— Bruce Vilanch

Bruce Vilanch Quote: “Eddie Izzard is absolutely brilliant. I would love to write something for him.”

12. “Eddie Izzard is absolutely brilliant. I would love to write something for him.”

— Bruce Vilanch

Bruce Vilanch Quote: “I do a lot of screen re-writing.”

13. “I do a lot of screen re-writing.”

— Bruce Vilanch

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