Top 25 Bunmi Laditan Quotes (2024 Update)

Bunmi Laditan Quote: “Moms can’t win with any of you. If we work, we ’re neglecting our children. If we stay home, we’re wasting our lives. If we don’t breastfeed, we’re failures. If we do, we need to do it in the dark, under the blanket, on a different planet so we don’t offend your fragile, weak sensitivities. Give a mother a freaking break!”

1. “Moms can’t win with any of you. If we work, we ’re neglecting our children. If we stay home, we’re wasting our lives. If we don’t breastfeed, we’re failures. If we do, we need to do it in the dark, under the blanket, on a different planet so we don’t offend your fragile, weak sensitivities. Give a mother a freaking break!”

— Bunmi Laditan

Bunmi Laditan Quote: “Just as quickly as it came, the wave of excitement turned bittersweet. It was all happening so fast. My baby was growing up. First teeth, then braces, then I’ll turn around and she’ll be filling out college applications. I can almost see he driving away in a car packed to the brim with boxes, off to start her life... away from me. Only to come home on the odd weekend.”

2. “Just as quickly as it came, the wave of excitement turned bittersweet. It was all happening so fast. My baby was growing up. First teeth, then braces, then I’ll turn around and she’ll be filling out college applications. I can almost see he driving away in a car packed to the brim with boxes, off to start her life... away from me. Only to come home on the odd weekend.”

— Bunmi Laditan

Bunmi Laditan Quote: “Sometimes it feels like moms are supposed to be invisible in society. Seen but not heard. We’re supposed to quietly and quickly go about our task of raising perfectly mannered, groomed Gap babies who speak four languages before they’re six without distracting the rest of the world from their important work.”

3. “Sometimes it feels like moms are supposed to be invisible in society. Seen but not heard. We’re supposed to quietly and quickly go about our task of raising perfectly mannered, groomed Gap babies who speak four languages before they’re six without distracting the rest of the world from their important work.”

— Bunmi Laditan

Bunmi Laditan Quote: “There’s no such thing as strong women or weak women. We’re just women who do what we must until we can’t.”

4. “There’s no such thing as strong women or weak women. We’re just women who do what we must until we can’t.”

— Bunmi Laditan

Bunmi Laditan Quote: “Never give a toddler chocolate. This is inexcusable behavior. We don’t waste chocolate on babies.”

5. “Never give a toddler chocolate. This is inexcusable behavior. We don’t waste chocolate on babies.”

— Bunmi Laditan

Bunmi Laditan Quote: “But based on how a common head cold transformed my husband from a thirty-five-year-old man to a ninety-six-year-old granny with malaria, I wasn’t sure he’d make it through one day with child.”

6. “But based on how a common head cold transformed my husband from a thirty-five-year-old man to a ninety-six-year-old granny with malaria, I wasn’t sure he’d make it through one day with child.”

— Bunmi Laditan

Bunmi Laditan Quote: “You’re just a mom, You feel useless and essential at the same time. You feel like everyone is doing a better job than you and that nobody understands what you’re going through.”

7. “You’re just a mom, You feel useless and essential at the same time. You feel like everyone is doing a better job than you and that nobody understands what you’re going through.”

— Bunmi Laditan

Bunmi Laditan Quote: “This is as cute as your kid is ever going to get. A two-year-old is trapped between babyhood and kidhood, and it’s a beautiful thing to behold. Is there anything cuter than a two-year-old Tweedledee stumbling around?”

8. “This is as cute as your kid is ever going to get. A two-year-old is trapped between babyhood and kidhood, and it’s a beautiful thing to behold. Is there anything cuter than a two-year-old Tweedledee stumbling around?”

— Bunmi Laditan

Bunmi Laditan Quote: “Someone once said that toddlers and grandparents get along so well because they have a common enemy. You.”

9. “Someone once said that toddlers and grandparents get along so well because they have a common enemy. You.”

— Bunmi Laditan

Bunmi Laditan Quote: “They do best in groups with other three-year-olds. In a community of their peers, these toddlers will create complicated Lord of the Flies hierarchies rich with unspoken rules and contracts. Don’t try to make sense of it, just enjoy that they’re not giving you hell for five minutes.”

10. “They do best in groups with other three-year-olds. In a community of their peers, these toddlers will create complicated Lord of the Flies hierarchies rich with unspoken rules and contracts. Don’t try to make sense of it, just enjoy that they’re not giving you hell for five minutes.”

— Bunmi Laditan

Bunmi Laditan Quote: “The quickest way to get cut off from naked Twister is to act like working outside the house makes you exempt from equal parenting. Mofo.”

11. “The quickest way to get cut off from naked Twister is to act like working outside the house makes you exempt from equal parenting. Mofo.”

— Bunmi Laditan

Bunmi Laditan Quote: “Four-year-olds are a cross between Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, and Stephen Hawking: They don’t seem to learn from their mistakes, are highly unpredictable, but show sparks of pure genius.”

12. “Four-year-olds are a cross between Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, and Stephen Hawking: They don’t seem to learn from their mistakes, are highly unpredictable, but show sparks of pure genius.”

— Bunmi Laditan

Bunmi Laditan Quote: “It killed me that one of the hardest parts of being a mom was sometimes dealing with other moms. The judgments, the looks, the advice that feels like a slow plunging of a knife into an already sore spot. They were supposed to understand better than anyone. They were supposed to be the only people I didn’t have to pretend for. They should have been my safe space, but they weren’t.”

13. “It killed me that one of the hardest parts of being a mom was sometimes dealing with other moms. The judgments, the looks, the advice that feels like a slow plunging of a knife into an already sore spot. They were supposed to understand better than anyone. They were supposed to be the only people I didn’t have to pretend for. They should have been my safe space, but they weren’t.”

— Bunmi Laditan

Bunmi Laditan Quote: “Toddler assholery” is a normal part of human development. It’s like puberty but focuses mainly on throwing food on the floor and taking swings at people who pay your way.”

14. “Toddler assholery” is a normal part of human development. It’s like puberty but focuses mainly on throwing food on the floor and taking swings at people who pay your way.”

— Bunmi Laditan

Bunmi Laditan Quote: “You have become a shut-in. Hopefully you have a backyard, because you’re going to lose your will to leave the house. It just won’t be worth it anymore.”

15. “You have become a shut-in. Hopefully you have a backyard, because you’re going to lose your will to leave the house. It just won’t be worth it anymore.”

— Bunmi Laditan

Bunmi Laditan Quote: “Today I am planting a garden of happiness. The seeds are my closed mouth.”

16. “Today I am planting a garden of happiness. The seeds are my closed mouth.”

— Bunmi Laditan

Bunmi Laditan Quote: “I’ve learned that the best parents aren’t the ones who know how to be right the best ones are the ones who know how to apologize.”

17. “I’ve learned that the best parents aren’t the ones who know how to be right the best ones are the ones who know how to apologize.”

— Bunmi Laditan

Bunmi Laditan Quote: “A toddler is a cross between a sociopath, a rabid animal, a cocker spaniel, a demon, and an angel. Depending on the time of day and when your toddler’s last meal was, you will see all of these sides. The.”

18. “A toddler is a cross between a sociopath, a rabid animal, a cocker spaniel, a demon, and an angel. Depending on the time of day and when your toddler’s last meal was, you will see all of these sides. The.”

— Bunmi Laditan

Bunmi Laditan Quote: “What’s Facebook? It’s where moms like me post about how much we love the husbands who annoy the living bejesus out of us, and share expertly edited photos of our kids and generally talk about our loves like we’re living in an enchanted fairy tale blessed by rainbow angel unicorns. In short, it’s for lying. But I’m addicted.”

19. “What’s Facebook? It’s where moms like me post about how much we love the husbands who annoy the living bejesus out of us, and share expertly edited photos of our kids and generally talk about our loves like we’re living in an enchanted fairy tale blessed by rainbow angel unicorns. In short, it’s for lying. But I’m addicted.”

— Bunmi Laditan

Bunmi Laditan Quote: “Motherhood has a way of talking all of your “I’ll never”s and turning them into “Whatever works.”

20. “Motherhood has a way of talking all of your “I’ll never”s and turning them into “Whatever works.”

— Bunmi Laditan

Bunmi Laditan Quote: “The amount of crap in your tub will rival that in your garage. By the time you go to take a shower, it’ll be like cleansing yourself inside a dollar store.”

21. “The amount of crap in your tub will rival that in your garage. By the time you go to take a shower, it’ll be like cleansing yourself inside a dollar store.”

— Bunmi Laditan

Bunmi Laditan Quote: “The Internet is your portal to the rest of the world. The people online are your only friends.”

22. “The Internet is your portal to the rest of the world. The people online are your only friends.”

— Bunmi Laditan

Bunmi Laditan Quote: “Pull-Ups cost so much because they sell the illusion that you are that much closer to having a potty-trained kid when in reality you’re not closer at all. They’re like the Spanx of diapers. Pull-Ups are a lie.”

23. “Pull-Ups cost so much because they sell the illusion that you are that much closer to having a potty-trained kid when in reality you’re not closer at all. They’re like the Spanx of diapers. Pull-Ups are a lie.”

— Bunmi Laditan

Bunmi Laditan Quote: “Note: Avoid eye contact with three-year-olds when they are hungry or tired. Like violent dogs, they assume you are challenging them and will charge. Too many people have lost nipples and eyelids to the teeth of three-year-olds. Too many.”

24. “Note: Avoid eye contact with three-year-olds when they are hungry or tired. Like violent dogs, they assume you are challenging them and will charge. Too many people have lost nipples and eyelids to the teeth of three-year-olds. Too many.”

— Bunmi Laditan

Bunmi Laditan Quote: “Nowadays, we’re all expected to make lunches in the shape of Frozen characters, put our kids in stylish clothes, spend our weekends making elaborate Pintrest inspired balloon-animal melted-crayon ombre-cookie crafts, and having our families and homes look like they just walked out of a page from Real Simple magazine-the pressure is enormous. And its stupid.”

25. “Nowadays, we’re all expected to make lunches in the shape of Frozen characters, put our kids in stylish clothes, spend our weekends making elaborate Pintrest inspired balloon-animal melted-crayon ombre-cookie crafts, and having our families and homes look like they just walked out of a page from Real Simple magazine-the pressure is enormous. And its stupid.”

— Bunmi Laditan

Bunmi Laditan Quote: “Congratulate yourself on going to the park. Take between 10 and 800 photos to let your Facebook friends know what a fantastic parent you are and how much they suck for being in front of the TV with their kid.”

26. “Congratulate yourself on going to the park. Take between 10 and 800 photos to let your Facebook friends know what a fantastic parent you are and how much they suck for being in front of the TV with their kid.”

— Bunmi Laditan

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