Top 6 C.D. Payne Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “Consider, if you will, the morning boner. What a metaphor of hope and renewal! How can anyone give way to despair when one’s groin greets each day with such a gala spectacle of physical optimism?”

— C.D. Payne

2. “One of the tragic consequences of divorce is that the kids are legally obligated by the courts to spend a fixed amount of time with their dads. In normal families, dads and children happily ignore each other.”

— C.D. Payne

3. “I have found that people who can successfully resist temptation invariably lead depressingly stunted lives.”

— C.D. Payne

4. “Do you suppose the human race invented boredom to make the prospect of death more palatable?”

— C.D. Payne

5. “Confession can be good for the soul, but it can exact a heavy toll on friendships.”

— C.D. Payne

6. “Now I know why women get their ears pierced. Once they’ve survived this ordeal of mutilation, they can face the discomforts of childbirth with equanimity.”

— C.D. Payne

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