Top 200 Caitlin Moran Quotes (2024 Update)
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51. “Once you’ve got a big feminist and political justification for talking about how you went round to Benedict Cumberbatch’s house and did period all over his sofa, then there’s no reason not to tell that anecdote in the middle of a dinner party.”

— Caitlin Moran

52. “I like a little bit of revolution. I think it’s a very good hobby for a young woman. Better than squash.”

— Caitlin Moran

53. “I’ve got more friends than I’ve ever had in my life at the age of 39 – although given that I didn’t have any friends until the age of 27, it doesn’t say much – because I found the internet.”

— Caitlin Moran

54. “The next few weeks are some of the worst of my life, because I have discovered something amazing: that some people aren’t just people, but a place – a whole world. Sometimes you find someone you could live in for the rest of your life.”

— Caitlin Moran

55. “All the things that are taboo are the things that are not normal, and all the things that are not normal are the things that are exclusively about physically being a woman.”

— Caitlin Moran

56. “I never wanted to be famous. It was amusing at first, but now I hate it. I just wanted to be respected by people I respect. And I wanted to be rich. It’s best to get rich, then you can do what you want.”

— Caitlin Moran

57. “You can always tell when a woman is with the wrong man, because she has so much to say about the fact that nothing’s happening.”

— Caitlin Moran

58. “Feminism means something – legislation, cultural change – but ‘Girl Power’ meant nothing more than being friends with your friends.”

— Caitlin Moran

59. “I feel in my bones that Lady Gaga is a true strident feminist and good for my soul – but how do I square this with the fact that she’s constantly walking around in her bra and pants, even at, like, airports and stuff, where even nudists wear a fleece and linen drawstring trousers?”

— Caitlin Moran

60. “Whenever I see a taboo, I just think that’s something we need to drag screaming out into the light and discuss. Because taboos are where our fears live, and taboos are the things that keep us tiny. Particularly for women.”

— Caitlin Moran

61. “Let’s all go and be feminists in the pub.”

— Caitlin Moran

62. “Friends, we live in a caffeine world. We think in a caffeine way and we live caffeine lives.”

— Caitlin Moran

63. “My favourite place in the world – the south beach at Aberystwyth -has a sewage outfall pipe on it.”

— Caitlin Moran

64. “I have no idea what cunnilingus is – certainly no one I’ve met in Wolverhampton can afford it.”

— Caitlin Moran

65. “I believe in music and gin and joy and talking too much and human kindness.”

— Caitlin Moran

66. “John Kite was the first person I’d ever met who made me feel normal. That when i talked “too much,” it was not the point where you walked away, going, “You’re weird, Johanna,” or “Shut up, Johanna” – but that was when the conversation actually got good. The more ridiculous things I said – the more astonishing things I confessed – the more he roared with laughter, or slapped the table and said: “That is exactly how it is, you outrageous item.”

— Caitlin Moran

67. “Strip clubs let everyone down. Men and women approach their very worst here.”

— Caitlin Moran

68. “This is the happiest you’ve ever been,” I told myself in the mirror in the ornate Victorian bathroom, two hours later. I was having a little girl-to-girl chat with me – “You’ve made a friend! You’re making a friend right now! Look at your face, in the middle of friending! You are hatching an attachment!”

— Caitlin Moran

69. “I have a pretty good handle on my anxiety. I basically treat myself like a nervy horse: lots of exercise, lots of sleep, lots of interesting work to keep my mind occupied, and generally avoiding being ridden hard by strangers.”

— Caitlin Moran

70. “I can’t think of anything I hate more than a former punk – they are the most self-righteous people in the world.”

— Caitlin Moran

71. “Any action a woman engages in from a spirit of joy, and within a similarly safe and joyous environment, falls within the city-walls of feminism. A girl has a right to dance how she wants, when her favourite record comes on.”

— Caitlin Moran

72. “He’s not a person – he’s a place you travel to. Everything changes when you’re with him. He is the mayor of good times. I remember a quote I read: “It was no man you wanted, believe me – it was a world.”

— Caitlin Moran

73. “Since I met you, I feel like I can see the operating system of the world- and it is unrequited love. That is why everyone’s doing everything. Every book, opera house, moon shot and manifesto is here because someone, somewhere, lit up silent when someone else came into the room, and then quietly burned when they didn’t notice them.”

— Caitlin Moran

74. “In that instance, my body had decided that this baby was not to be and had ended it. This time, it is my mind that has decided that this baby was not to be. I don’t believe one’s decision is more valid than the other. They both know me. They are both equally capable of deciding what is right.”

— Caitlin Moran

75. “Most sexism is down to men being accustomed to us being the losers. That’s what the problem is. We just have bad status. Man are accustomed to us being runners-up or being disqualified entirely. For men born pre-feminism, this is what they were raised on: second-class citizen mothers; sisters who need to be married off; female schoolmates going to secretarial school, then becoming housewives. Women who disengaged. Disappeared.”

— Caitlin Moran

76. “I will never tell anyone when I feel bad again. I will never confide a weakness. It does not work. It makes things worse.”

— Caitlin Moran

77. “Being able to wear underwear brilliantly is such a key talent for a woman that there are even competitions to judge who is the best at it: Miss America, Miss World, Miss International, Miss Universe. You can call this “the swimsuit round” all you like – we know what it really means. It’s the “bra and undies round.”

— Caitlin Moran

78. “Evenings never end – they just, without you noticing, turn into tomorrow.”

— Caitlin Moran

79. “I am an enthusiast who’s been pretending to be a cynic. But I have been correctly labeled now. I am for things – not against them. I must remember this. Mainly because this is more fun. It’s exhausting being cynical. You are trying to be an immovable, angry rock in the middle of a stream. But the stream will not move. It is you that will be worn down to dull silt.”

— Caitlin Moran

80. “It’s the silliness – the profligacy, and the silliness – that’s so dizzying: a seven-year-old will run downstairs, kiss you hard, and then run back upstairs again, all in less than 30 seconds. It’s as urgent an item on their daily agenda as eating or singing. It’s like being mugged by Cupid.”

— Caitlin Moran

81. “There are some women out there who are just going to look better with a mustache: that’s statistics.”

— Caitlin Moran

82. “She doesn’t like the makeup, either. “I once nearly blinded myself with a mascara brush,” she says, looking querulously at my eyeliner. I don’t want to point out that that says far more about her than it does about me. She might as well be telling me a story of how she once confused Push for Pull on a door, then banning me from using doors again – “Lest you also be betrayed by doors.”

— Caitlin Moran

83. “And the question is always “When are you going to have kids?” Rather than “Do you want to have kids?”

— Caitlin Moran

84. “As Germaine Greer puts it in The Whole Woman, “to become a mother without wanting it is to live like a slave, or domestic animal.”

— Caitlin Moran

85. “Rock ’n’ roll is a terrible babysitter, baby.”

— Caitlin Moran

86. “If you read all your history books, there are no women in them.”

— Caitlin Moran

87. “I could have written a misery memoir and instead I tried to make it funny. I never complained.”

— Caitlin Moran

88. “Choose your friends because you feel most like yourself around them, because the jokes are easy and you feel like you’re in your best outfit when you’re with them, even though you’re just in a t-shirt.”

— Caitlin Moran

89. “Anger is just fear, brought to the boil.”

— Caitlin Moran

90. “For me, and I suspect a lot of socially awkward people, dealing with people face-to-face seems really traumatic. Particularly if you have massive sweating issues, and particularly if on top of that you have quite smelly sweat that smells like onion soup.”

— Caitlin Moran

91. “And when you are being kissed like this, you are Christmas Day; you are the moon shot; you are field larks. My shoes were suddenly worth a million pounds, and my breath was the ethyl in champagne. When someone kisses you like this, you are the point of everything.”

— Caitlin Moran

92. “You can be whatever you want – so long as you’re sure it’s what you actually want, rather than one of two equally dodgy choices foisted onto you.”

— Caitlin Moran

93. “You actually don’t exist while you’re in your bedroom,” I say to the dog, so that she knows this important fact. “Teenage girls in bedrooms aren’t real.”

— Caitlin Moran

94. “This is what happens, when it feels like the weight of the world is crushing right down on you. Your fear it’s going to change you forever. And you’re right. It is. It’s going to turn you into something that’s both beautiful, and the most indestructible thing on the planet.”

— Caitlin Moran

95. “Show a girl a pioneering hero – Sylvia Plath, Dorothy Parker, Frida Kahlo, Cleopatra, Boudicca, Joan of Arc – and you also, more often than not, show a girl a woman who was eventually crushed.”

— Caitlin Moran

96. “At its best – and I love a nice frock – fashion is a game. But for women, it’s a compulsory game, like netball. And you can’t get out of it by faking a period. I know. I’ve tried.”

— Caitlin Moran

97. “Please wait for me. Don’t have all the fun now. Don’t fill up on other people who aren’t me. Don’t ruin your appetite.”

— Caitlin Moran

98. “A self-made man” – not of woman born but alchemized, through sheer force of will, by the man himself. This is what I want to be. I want to be a self-made woman. I want to conjure myself out of every sparkling, fast moving thing I can see. I want to be the creator of myself. I’m going to begat myself.”

— Caitlin Moran

99. “Because I haven’t yet learned the simplest and most important thing of all: the world is difficult, and we are all breakable. So just be kind.”

— Caitlin Moran

100. “Because I am still learning to walk and talk, and it is a million times easier to be cynical and wield a sword, than it is to be open-hearted and stand there, holding a balloon and a birthday cake, with the infinite potential to look foolish.”

— Caitlin Moran