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Top 80 Calvin Trillin Quotes (2025 Update)
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Calvin Trillin Quote: “The interesting thing about class warfare is that it’s only class warfare if it’s up, not down. If you talk about welfare cheats or something, that’s not class warfare because it’s down; you have to talk about rich people before it’s class warfare.”

51. “The interesting thing about class warfare is that it’s only class warfare if it’s up, not down. If you talk about welfare cheats or something, that’s not class warfare because it’s down; you have to talk about rich people before it’s class warfare.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “One advantage of a monarchy is that a monarchy does not suffer the effects of having great clots of white Christians moping around simply because they aren’t the king or queen.”

52. “One advantage of a monarchy is that a monarchy does not suffer the effects of having great clots of white Christians moping around simply because they aren’t the king or queen.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “I never did very well in math – I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn’t meant my answers literally.”

53. “I never did very well in math – I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn’t meant my answers literally.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “Someone who managed to navigate the tricky waters between living a life you could be proud of and still delighting in the many things there are to take pleasure in.”

54. “Someone who managed to navigate the tricky waters between living a life you could be proud of and still delighting in the many things there are to take pleasure in.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “Many Texas barbecue fanatics have a strong belief in the beneficial properties of accumulated grease.”

55. “Many Texas barbecue fanatics have a strong belief in the beneficial properties of accumulated grease.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “Sometimes, if I had until the next day to turn the story in, I’d head home, finding that the knot in the narrative came loose with the rhythmic clacking of the subway train.”

56. “Sometimes, if I had until the next day to turn the story in, I’d head home, finding that the knot in the narrative came loose with the rhythmic clacking of the subway train.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “Everything was blamed on Castro. Mudslides in California. The fact that you can’t buy a decent tomato anymore. Was there an exceptionally high pollen count in Massapequa, Long Island, one day? It was Castro, exporting sneezes.”

57. “Everything was blamed on Castro. Mudslides in California. The fact that you can’t buy a decent tomato anymore. Was there an exceptionally high pollen count in Massapequa, Long Island, one day? It was Castro, exporting sneezes.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “Avoid restaurants with names that are improbable descriptions, such as the Purple Goose, the Blue Kangaroo or the Quilted Orangutan.”

58. “Avoid restaurants with names that are improbable descriptions, such as the Purple Goose, the Blue Kangaroo or the Quilted Orangutan.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “I suppose it’s possible that the Sundance Kid didn’t like to make much of his birthdays – they may have struck him as just another reminder that his draw was getting slower by the year – but what if he truly liked a major celebration? What if he looked forward every year to marking the day of his birth with what they used to call in the West ‘a real wingding, with pink balloons and a few survivors’?”

59. “I suppose it’s possible that the Sundance Kid didn’t like to make much of his birthdays – they may have struck him as just another reminder that his draw was getting slower by the year – but what if he truly liked a major celebration? What if he looked forward every year to marking the day of his birth with what they used to call in the West ‘a real wingding, with pink balloons and a few survivors’?”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “It was a given in our family that my father was a grocer so that I wouldn’t have to be.”

60. “It was a given in our family that my father was a grocer so that I wouldn’t have to be.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “Reporters also tend to love trials. It may be that we are transfixed by a process in which the person being asked a question actually has to answer it. He cannot say he would rather not comment. He cannot tell an anecdote on a different subject. He has to answer the question – under oath that he is telling the truth.”

61. “Reporters also tend to love trials. It may be that we are transfixed by a process in which the person being asked a question actually has to answer it. He cannot say he would rather not comment. He cannot tell an anecdote on a different subject. He has to answer the question – under oath that he is telling the truth.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “In the early sixties, the notion that racism was not acceptable even in certain regions or certain clubs or certain circumstances – the notion that it could not be treated with moderation – was a notion largely confined to black people.”

62. “In the early sixties, the notion that racism was not acceptable even in certain regions or certain clubs or certain circumstances – the notion that it could not be treated with moderation – was a notion largely confined to black people.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “Perhaps we’ve time to have a look at the Number Thirty-One bus queue before we turn in.”

63. “Perhaps we’ve time to have a look at the Number Thirty-One bus queue before we turn in.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “Being on a book tour is a lot easier than reporting.”

64. “Being on a book tour is a lot easier than reporting.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “I don’t cook. I don’t know anything about food. I’ve never reviewed a restaurant.”

65. “I don’t cook. I don’t know anything about food. I’ve never reviewed a restaurant.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can’t get rid of.”

66. “I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can’t get rid of.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “Since nostaglia is fueled by inflation, could it be that inflation is the result of a conspiracy by the people who are trying to palm off McGovern buttons and Howdy Doody puppets and their Aunt Thelma’s toaster as antiques.”

67. “Since nostaglia is fueled by inflation, could it be that inflation is the result of a conspiracy by the people who are trying to palm off McGovern buttons and Howdy Doody puppets and their Aunt Thelma’s toaster as antiques.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “There’s always a source for humor.”

68. “There’s always a source for humor.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “I don’t think I’ve ever read a food piece or a food book.”

69. “I don’t think I’ve ever read a food piece or a food book.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “What campaigns are for is weeding out the people who, for one way or another, weren’t making it for the long haul.”

70. “What campaigns are for is weeding out the people who, for one way or another, weren’t making it for the long haul.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “The ceiling on taxation of capital gains reflects the national belief that speculation is a more worthwhile way to make a living than work.”

71. “The ceiling on taxation of capital gains reflects the national belief that speculation is a more worthwhile way to make a living than work.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “The question about those aromatic advertisements that perfume companies are having stitched into magazines these days is this: under the freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment, is smelling up the place a constitutionally protected form of expression?”

72. “The question about those aromatic advertisements that perfume companies are having stitched into magazines these days is this: under the freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment, is smelling up the place a constitutionally protected form of expression?”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “I’m in favor of liberalizing immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants. I’d let just about everybody in except the English.”

73. “I’m in favor of liberalizing immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants. I’d let just about everybody in except the English.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “What interests me is what you might call vernacular writing, writing that connects you to a place.”

74. “What interests me is what you might call vernacular writing, writing that connects you to a place.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “Canadians are very well behaved, they don’t throw their food.”

75. “Canadians are very well behaved, they don’t throw their food.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “I’ve written three books you could think of as memoirs.”

76. “I’ve written three books you could think of as memoirs.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “The way I read Billy Carter’s testimony, he was a model citizen himself until the voters went and ruined his life by making his brother President.”

77. “The way I read Billy Carter’s testimony, he was a model citizen himself until the voters went and ruined his life by making his brother President.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “You know, I used to say, when people say, ‘How do you think about what to write about in the poems every week?’ And I say, ‘Well, I have to turn it in on Monday, so on Sunday nights I turn the shower to iambic pentameter and it sort of works out that way.’”

78. “You know, I used to say, when people say, ‘How do you think about what to write about in the poems every week?’ And I say, ‘Well, I have to turn it in on Monday, so on Sunday nights I turn the shower to iambic pentameter and it sort of works out that way.’”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “Getting a tattoo would probably make me cry.”

79. “Getting a tattoo would probably make me cry.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “Fairs are good places to eat, particularly for stand-up eaters – which is one of the kinds of eaters I am, although when I eat standing up away from home I sometimes miss the familiar cool breeze coming from the open refrigerator.”

80. “Fairs are good places to eat, particularly for stand-up eaters – which is one of the kinds of eaters I am, although when I eat standing up away from home I sometimes miss the familiar cool breeze coming from the open refrigerator.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “I do remember in high school I wanted to be a disc jockey.”

81. “I do remember in high school I wanted to be a disc jockey.”

— Calvin Trillin

Calvin Trillin Quote: “I don’t mind being interviewed on television or radio.”

82. “I don’t mind being interviewed on television or radio.”

— Calvin Trillin

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