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Calvin Trillin Quotes

Calvin Trillin Quote: “The Banh Mi sandwich is really the only good argument for colonialism.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “The price of purity is purists.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “In modern America, anyone who attempts to write satirically about the events of the day finds it difficult to concoct a situation so bizarre that it may not actually come to pass while his article is still on the presses.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “When you’re writing, you are robbed of your delivery.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “It has long been acknowledged that the single best restaurant in the world is Arthur Bryant’s Barbecue at Eighteenth and Booklyn in Kansas city.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “Even today, well-brought-up English girls are taught by their mothers to boil all veggies for at least a month and a half, just in case one of the dinner guests turns up without his teeth.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “Anybody who doesn’t think that the best hamburger place in teh world is in his home town is a sissy.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “Following the Romanian tradition, garlic is used in excess to keep the vampires away.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “Math was always my bad subject. I couldn’t convince my teachers that many of my answers were meant ironically.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “As far as I’m concerned, ‘whom’ is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “Do my ears deceive me, or can I actually hear the sounds of worms turning? You say a turning worm makes no sound? But how about a chorus of turning worms?”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucini, but sharing the burden of finding the fettucini restaurant in the first place.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “When someone reaches middle age, people he knows begin to get put in charge of things, and knowing what he knows about the people who are being put in charge of things scares the hell out of him.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “The shelf life of the average trade book is somewhere between milk and yogurt.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “Anybody caught selling macrame in public should be dyed a natural color and hung out to dry.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “Money not spent on a luxury one considered even briefly is the equivalent of windfall income and should be spent accordingly.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “I like chili, but not enough to discuss it with someone from Texas.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “The margin of error in astrology is plus or minus one hundred percent.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “I’ve always thought that parallel parking was my main talent.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “I suppose that there are endeavors in which self-confidence is even more important than it is in writing – tightrope walking comes immediately to mind – but it’s difficult for me to think of anybody producing much writing if his confidence is completely shot.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “I never eat in a restaurant that’s over a hundred feet off the ground and won’t stand still.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “Every good idea sooner or later degenerates into hard work.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “There is no question that Rumanian-Jewish food is heavy. One meal is equal in heaviness, I would guess, to eight or nine years of steady mung-bean eating.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic with just the sort of people they’re trying to keep out.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “I’m more disturbed when people expect me to be serious.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “If it’s inappropriate to write about, if there’s nothing funny about it, then it’s not funny.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “I don’t care where I sit, as long as I get fed.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “Health food makes me sick.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “Keeping off a large weight loss is a phenomenon about as common in American medicine as an impoverished dermatologist.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “Daddy, how come in Kansas City the bagels taste like just round bread?”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “The average trade book has a shelf life of between milk and yogurt, except for books by any member of the Irving Wallace family – they have preservatives.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “By the way, did you fellows know that a hummingbird weighs as much as a quarter? Do you think a hummingbird also weighs the same as two dimes and a nickel? But then she asked a question of her own: How do they weigh a hummingbird?”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “We all know funny people who can’t get it down on the page – even funny writers who can’t get it down on the page.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “Everybody is who he was in high school.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “When it comes to rapacious 19th century capitalism, my family’s hands are clean.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “At American weddings, the quality of the food is in inverse proportion to the social position of the bride and groom.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “When helicopters were snatching people from the grounds of the American embassy compound during the panic of the final Vietcong push into Saigon, I was sitting in front of the television set shouting, Get the chefs! Get the chefs!”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “With humor, it’s so subjective that trying to think of what the ideal reader would think would drive you crazy.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “How did Italy manage to end up with no Caribbean islands at all? Christopher Columbus took the trouble to discover the Caribbean personally before the end of the fifteenth century. Try to get a decent plate of spaghetti there now.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “If Lincoln freed the slaves and preserved the Union, how come ‘Lincolnesque’ just means tall?”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “One advantage of a monarchy is that a monarchy does not suffer the effects of having great clots of white Christians moping around simply because they aren’t the king or queen.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “When it comes to Chinese food I have always operated under the policy that the less known about the preparation the better. A wise diner who is invited to visit the kitchen replies by saying, as politely as possible, that he has a pressing engagement elsewhere.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “It happens to be a matter of record that I was first in print with the discovery that the tastelessness of the food offered in American clubs varies in direct proportion to the exclusiveness of the club.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “Why in the world are you a Republican?”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “Taking pleasure in the dark side may be some sort of occupational hazard for reporters.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “People, not just reporters, are more interested in politics than in government, so the actual issues wouldn’t be something that interested them.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “The interesting thing about class warfare is that it’s only class warfare if it’s up, not down. If you talk about welfare cheats or something, that’s not class warfare because it’s down; you have to talk about rich people before it’s class warfare.”
Calvin Trillin Quote: “There is a theory that sooner or later anything in America that is any fun at all will be ruined by people from California.”
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