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Carol Burnett Quotes

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Carol Burnett Quote: “Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.”

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.

— Carol Burnett



Carol Burnett Quote: “When you have a dream, you’ve got to grab it and never let go.”

When you have a dream, you’ve got to grab it and never let go.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “Comedy is tragedy plus time.”

Comedy is tragedy plus time.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “I love to write. I have always loved writing. That was my first love.”

I love to write. I have always loved writing. That was my first love.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “We don’t stop going to school when we graduate.”

We don’t stop going to school when we graduate.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.”

Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “I think we’re here for each other.”

I think we’re here for each other.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “No one ever said life was fair. Just Eventful.”

No one ever said life was fair. Just Eventful.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “Because nobody goes through life without a scar.”

Because nobody goes through life without a scar.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “You have to have faith that there is a reason you go through certain things. I can’t say I’m glad to go through pain, but in a way one must, in order to gain courage and really feel joy.”

You have to have faith that there is a reason you go through certain things. I can’t say I’m glad to go through pain, but in a way one must, in order to gain courage and really feel joy.

— Carol Burnett



Carol Burnett Quote: “Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away.”

Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that.”

I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “It’s almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.”

It’s almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “You do have to love your kids enough to let them hate you. But it’s the disease that’s hating you, not them.”

You do have to love your kids enough to let them hate you. But it’s the disease that’s hating you, not them.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “I have a great memory.”

I have a great memory.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “I don’t have false teeth. Do you think I’d buy teeth like these?”

I don’t have false teeth. Do you think I’d buy teeth like these?

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “People invite me to dinner not because I can cook, but because I like to clean up. I get immediate gratification from windex. Yes, I do windows.”

People invite me to dinner not because I can cook, but because I like to clean up. I get immediate gratification from windex. Yes, I do windows.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “You have to go through the falling down in order to learn to walk. It helps to know that you can survive it. That’s an education in itself.”

You have to go through the falling down in order to learn to walk. It helps to know that you can survive it. That’s an education in itself.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “What I like to write about is stuff I know. I don’t think I could write a novel. I don’t think I have it in me to come up with those kinds of characters.”

What I like to write about is stuff I know. I don’t think I could write a novel. I don’t think I have it in me to come up with those kinds of characters.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “My interesting diet tips are eat early and don’t nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away.”

My interesting diet tips are eat early and don’t nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away.

— Carol Burnett



Carol Burnett Quote: “Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.”

Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.”

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “But I don’t begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it’s just to put a roof over your head and food on the table.”

But I don’t begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it’s just to put a roof over your head and food on the table.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “I couldn’t get the laughter out of my head. It wasn’t career. It wasn’t even a choice. It was a calling.”

I couldn’t get the laughter out of my head. It wasn’t career. It wasn’t even a choice. It was a calling.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “But I didn’t ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn’t even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh.”

But I didn’t ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn’t even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “It’s also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I’ve been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That’s why we’re here, after all, to help others.”

It’s also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I’ve been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That’s why we’re here, after all, to help others.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “I always had a weak chin because we couldn’t afford to correct my bite, which could have been corrected with braces. So the chin was always weak. And I always was – kind of hated my profile. And I thought wouldn’t it be nice someday to feel the rain on your chin without having to look up.”

I always had a weak chin because we couldn’t afford to correct my bite, which could have been corrected with braces. So the chin was always weak. And I always was – kind of hated my profile. And I thought wouldn’t it be nice someday to feel the rain on your chin without having to look up.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “If someone tells you that you cannot do something and you believe it, they are right.”

If someone tells you that you cannot do something and you believe it, they are right.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “The audience is never wrong.”

The audience is never wrong.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances.”

I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “I can’t tell a joke to save my soul. It’s just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes.”

I can’t tell a joke to save my soul. It’s just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “My grandmother and I followed my mother here, to a house a block north of Hollywood Boulevard but a million miles away from Hollywood, if you know what I mean. We would hang out behind the ropes and look at the movie stars arriving at the premieres.”

My grandmother and I followed my mother here, to a house a block north of Hollywood Boulevard but a million miles away from Hollywood, if you know what I mean. We would hang out behind the ropes and look at the movie stars arriving at the premieres.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “In ’57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door.”

In ’57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. I wanted my girls to know me.”

I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. I wanted my girls to know me.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “I don’t eat much meat, fish, or poultry.”

I don’t eat much meat, fish, or poultry.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “The first time someone said, ‘What are your measurements?’ I answered, ‘37, 24, 38 – but not necessarily in that order.’”

The first time someone said, ‘What are your measurements?’ I answered, ‘37, 24, 38 – but not necessarily in that order.’

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run.”

My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “I have always grown from my problems and challenges, from the things that don’t work out, that’s when I’ve really learned.”

I have always grown from my problems and challenges, from the things that don’t work out, that’s when I’ve really learned.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “I had a good loud voice and I wasn’t afraid to be goofy or zany.”

I had a good loud voice and I wasn’t afraid to be goofy or zany.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy.”

I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t waiting for a scab either to grow or to fall off my knee.”

I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t waiting for a scab either to grow or to fall off my knee.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “Have you noticed that all you need to grow healthy, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk? Having a baby is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.”

Have you noticed that all you need to grow healthy, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk? Having a baby is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in ‘Dharma and Greg’ was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing.”

As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in ‘Dharma and Greg’ was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “I liked myself better when I wasnt me.”

I liked myself better when I wasnt me.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “Daddy, when he drank, just became sweeter. There wasn’t a mean thought in his body. I’ve always said he was like a drunk Jimmy Stewart.”

Daddy, when he drank, just became sweeter. There wasn’t a mean thought in his body. I’ve always said he was like a drunk Jimmy Stewart.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it’s too bad that we don’t have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team’s lawyers.”

It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it’s too bad that we don’t have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team’s lawyers.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “I’m really not that funny in real life. But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.”

I’m really not that funny in real life. But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “No matter what, when you major in theater arts whether you want to write or be a director or design scenery or whatever, when you are a freshman at UCLA then – I guess it’s still the same way – you had to take an acting class.”

No matter what, when you major in theater arts whether you want to write or be a director or design scenery or whatever, when you are a freshman at UCLA then – I guess it’s still the same way – you had to take an acting class.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “I always felt that I was more of an actress than a – I can’t tell a joke to save my soul, but that I was a comedic actress.”

I always felt that I was more of an actress than a – I can’t tell a joke to save my soul, but that I was a comedic actress.

— Carol Burnett


Carol Burnett Quote: “Well, I don’t know how astute I am, but I did want to be a journalist when I was growing up.”

Well, I don’t know how astute I am, but I did want to be a journalist when I was growing up.

— Carol Burnett

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