Top 40 Carrot Top Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “People always want to put a label on you; they always want to compare you to something.”

— Carrot Top

2. “It’s weird, I never wish anything bad upon anybody, except two or three old girlfriends.”

— Carrot Top

3. “I do go through a mini depression because one minute there are people yelling and screaming for me on stage and the next I’m at home and it’s dead quiet. So it takes a while to come down.”

— Carrot Top

4. “Some people even think I wear a wig. Do they think I went into a salon one day and said, Can you please screw this up really bad?”

— Carrot Top

5. “There’s nothing wrong with trying to reach out to new fans.”

— Carrot Top

6. “I had a Neighborhood Crime Watch sign in my dorm wall in college. People would come in and laugh at it. ‘Where did you get it?’ ‘I took it. How good is their Neighborhood Crime Watch if they can’t even watch their sign?’”

— Carrot Top

7. “I’ve got the long hair and kind of androgynous look. It’s love-hate; it’s sexy, but not sexy. So it’s either you get it or you don’t.”

— Carrot Top

8. “I always think everyone else is funnier than me. I look at other comedians and I say, ‘I wish I was that good.’ People think I’m funny, and I say, ‘I’m not.’”

— Carrot Top

9. “Me in drag is kind of scary, actually. It’s frightening. I actually look pretty good.”

— Carrot Top

10. “I was the class clown at school, but at home, my family wasn’t very funny.”

— Carrot Top

11. “So I try not to look too far into the future because I think that everything happens and will happen for a reason.”

— Carrot Top

12. “I think it’s important for me, for my crew and for the audience to bring something new to each show. I have friends who have done the same act, word for word for word, for 20 years. I have a problem with that. I think the audience should see something new in each show.”

— Carrot Top

13. “I’d love to be animated. I’ve always wanted to jump off of a bridge and not be hurt, like Bugs Bunny.”

— Carrot Top

14. “I love to shop, especially in retro stores. I have about a million pairs of old-school sports shoes like Adidas, so that’s probably my biggest vice.”

— Carrot Top

15. “My real name is Scott Thompson. I could have gone by that name, but when I started doing comedy I thought I needed to go by something that has a little more of a hook.”

— Carrot Top

16. “When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me.”

— Carrot Top

17. “Almost every day, someone asks if I ever flat iron my hair. I say, ‘No, because I’m afraid it wouldn’t look good and wouldn’t come back curly.’”

— Carrot Top

18. “I have to go out for lunch and dinner because I can’t cook. I need a woman to come and save me from my cooking.”

— Carrot Top

19. “Everybody has their own style. If you went to the movies every week and everybody acted the same way Tom Cruise did, boy, wouldn’t that suck?”

— Carrot Top

20. “When I was younger I always thought, ‘If I were ever a comedian I’d make it like a rock concert.’ I wanted to generate that type of enthusiasm and excitement.”

— Carrot Top

21. “I always thought marketing in general was an interesting kind of thing. I always liked commercials and billboards.”

— Carrot Top

22. “Everyone has the gift of laughter inside of them. All the world is a prop.”

— Carrot Top

23. “Video games are so popular these days, getting the opportunity to star in one is something special. More people should do it.”

— Carrot Top

24. “It’s our nature: Human beings like success but they hate successful people.”

— Carrot Top

25. “Before I got addicted to comedy, I was seriously thinking about playing tennis full time. I joined the tennis team and played with a lot of professionals.”

— Carrot Top

26. “On the weekends, I would go down and play these clubs in Key West or West Palm Beach or surrounding areas of Florida and then I’d go back to school for the week.”

— Carrot Top

27. “Carrot Top is a nickname that people call me and I thought that it was more marketable.”

— Carrot Top

28. “I’ve always believed that it’s important to give something back to the world and community.”

— Carrot Top

29. “My manager has a car payment, so I work every night.”

— Carrot Top

30. “In movies, you don’t get reactions: Live, when you do a joke, you know in a second whether it’s good or bad. But in a movie, since no one is allowed to laugh or do anything, when you’re done with a scene, you’re left asking, ‘Was that funny?’”

— Carrot Top

31. “The blessing is that everyone knows who I am because of the commercials.”

— Carrot Top

32. “People always say to me, Youre really attractive – in an unusual way. No one ever just says, Youre attractive.”

— Carrot Top

33. “I have a home in Orlando. That’s kind of my default ‘getaway’ city.”

— Carrot Top

34. “I think, over the years, I’ve kind of evolved.”

— Carrot Top

35. “I think the more you do this and the more comfortable you become on stage, you start speaking more and becoming more of a character in yourself.”

— Carrot Top

36. “I didn’t really have a plan of attack when I got in college.”

— Carrot Top

37. “I always make fun of KISS because I don’t particularly think their music is anything.”

— Carrot Top

38. “I’ve experienced plenty of times when something I think is funny doesn’t do very well. And there are times when something I don’t think is funny makes the audience laugh so hard.”

— Carrot Top

39. “I would like to be someone like Steve Martin. That’s the path I’d like to follow.”

— Carrot Top

40. “My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh.”

— Carrot Top

41. “People do give me a hard time about my hair because it’s orange and it’s big.”

— Carrot Top

42. “My way of making people like me was to make ’em laugh.”

— Carrot Top

43. “Some people don’t realize that I’ve had a career pre-commercials.”

— Carrot Top

44. “Comics don’t like to see other comics do well.”

— Carrot Top

45. “I don’t want to be known just as ‘Carrot Top.’ I don’t always want to be this crazy, goofy guy.”

— Carrot Top