Top 200 Charlaine Harris Quotes (2026 Update)
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51. “There was enough tension in the room to send a fleet of the nervous running for their tranquilizers.”

— Charlaine Harris

52. “As it was, I couldn’t escape the feeling that I was out of my element. I found myself thinking of a book I’d left half-read at home and wishing I’d stuck it in my purse so I could pull it out now.”

— Charlaine Harris

53. “Okay I’ve been stupid in the past. Not consistently stupid, but occasionally stupid. And I’ve made mistakes. You bet, I’ve made mistakes.”

— Charlaine Harris

54. “I said the first thing that came into my head unfortunately. “Save the drama for your mama ” I told her just like an eleven-year-old.”

— Charlaine Harris

55. “I’d have to say no, people don’t change, but they can learn to behave differently.”

— Charlaine Harris

56. “Yikes. Yahoo. Yum.”

— Charlaine Harris

57. “They say when one door shuts, another one opens. But they haven’t been living at my house. Most of the doors I open seem to have something scary crouched behind them, anyway.”

— Charlaine Harris

58. “No matter how we suffer, we have an obligation to others. We have to be unselfish enough to try to live in the right way, so others can get through their own lives without us fouling them up.”

— Charlaine Harris

59. “Once again, I had that feeling of drowning when I hadn’t even known I was in the pool.”

— Charlaine Harris

60. “Because he sounded so lost-the Eric I knew had never been one to do anything other than assume others should serve him-I patted around under the covers for his hand. When I found it, I slid my own over it. His palm was turned up to meet my palm, and his fingers clasped mine. And though I would not have thought it possible to go to sleep holding hands with a vampire, that’s exactly what I did.”

— Charlaine Harris

61. “It was beautiful Eric, who desired me, who was hungry for me, in a world that often let me know it could do very well without me.”

— Charlaine Harris

62. “Softie was not a word you could use in the same sentence as Eric.”

— Charlaine Harris

63. “And since I’m going to be in the neighborhood, you thought I might do as an escort? To an orgy?”

— Charlaine Harris

64. “The average woman would not be pondering how fast her date could kill her, but I’ll never be an average woman.”

— Charlaine Harris

65. “Sometimes, instead of going down the road less taken, you just charge down the beaten path.”

— Charlaine Harris

66. “What had set the fae world off? I’d never seen one. Now you couldn’t throw a trowel without hitting a fairy.”

— Charlaine Harris

67. “Somewhere, somewhere in this house, lurked a problem. For some reason, Jane’s legacy wasn’t entirely benevolent.”

— Charlaine Harris

68. “Easy to exemplify my true feelings towards him.”

— Charlaine Harris

69. “There’s no way you can kill someone and get to the other side of the experience unchanged.”

— Charlaine Harris

70. “I gripped the stapler even harder and felt like a fool planning to battle a crazy man with a stapler that even, I suddenly remembered, contained no staples. Well, strike that line of defense.”

— Charlaine Harris

71. “We can’t leave this world without leaving a lot of detritus behind. We never go out as cleanly as we come in; and even when we come in, there’s the afterbirth.”

— Charlaine Harris

72. “I often cried when I got angry; I hated that. Crying just made you look weak, no matter what triggered it.”

— Charlaine Harris

73. “Come on, lover, let’s have a look,” Eric said, giving me a quick kiss. He jumped off the back porch with me still attached to him – like a large barnacle.”

— Charlaine Harris

74. “Despite the failure of Velda Cannon’s Depends, we’d had a great time.”

— Charlaine Harris

75. “Vampires often turn on those who trust them. We don’t have human values, you know.” “A lot of humans turn on those who trust them,” I pointed out. I can be practical. “I’m not a total fool.”

— Charlaine Harris

76. “For awhile I taped soap operas and watched them at night when I thought I might be forgetting what it was like to be human. After a while I stopped, because from the examples I saw on those shows, forgetting humanity was a good thing.”

— Charlaine Harris

77. “Look, how come he showed up now? When you have other fairies in the woods? And does that sound crazy when you say it out loud, or what?”

— Charlaine Harris

78. “It was somehow degrading, craving someone so... voraciously – another good calendar word – just because he was physically beautiful. I hadn’t thought that was something women did, either.”

— Charlaine Harris

79. “Eric moved the broom experimentally and made an attempt to sweep the glass into the pan while it lay in the middle of the floor. Of course, the pan slid away. Eric scowled. I’d finally found something Eric did poorly.”

— Charlaine Harris

80. “Men sometimes have to leave their ladies alone, and ladies are not responsible for the bad manners of fools.”

— Charlaine Harris

81. “The air was cold and wet, and if you stood still for a moment the chilling damp would creep into your bones. I could tell the temperature was taking a deep dive, and the bright sky of the morning was a fond memory. It was an appropriate day to dump a body.”

— Charlaine Harris

82. “Appius Livius Ocella made mistakes in his whole long existence. Perhaps changing Eric was his finest hour. He created the perfect vampire. Eric’s only flaw is you.”

— Charlaine Harris

83. “I think it’s ‘only polite’ that my wife should let me know when she’s entertaining a male visitor, furthermore one that has shared her bed.”

— Charlaine Harris

84. “My brother, Jason, came into the bar, then, and sauntered over to give me a hug. He knows that women like a man who’s good to his family and also kind to the disabled, so hugging me is a double whammy of recommendation.”

— Charlaine Harris

85. “No, I like you alive and warm and wiggling.”

— Charlaine Harris

86. “The vampire is not a bad man, and he loves you.”

— Charlaine Harris

87. “He looked like he’d just seen the Ghost of You Better Shut Your Mouth...”

— Charlaine Harris

88. “A dog – a collie – went up to Eric, looked up at his face, and growled. “Shoo,” Eric said, making an imperious gesture with his hand.”

— Charlaine Harris

89. “Self-pity is like chocolate; as you get older, you can only afford a little bit.”

— Charlaine Harris

90. “I held on to my better nature by my fingernails but I held on.”

— Charlaine Harris

91. “Not since the dark days of the Twilight franchise had it been so trendy to be dead.”

— Charlaine Harris

92. “But in my book, it was basically bad taste to stare at someone’s assets, no matter how much on display they were.”

— Charlaine Harris

93. “I had two cups of coffee, put Eric’s jeans in the washer, read a romance for awhile, and studied my brand-new Word of the Day calendar, a Christmas gift from Arlene. My first word of the New Year was ‘exsanguinate.’ This was probably not a good omen.”

— Charlaine Harris

94. “When I thought of Eric with someone else, I wanted to rip out all his beautiful blonde hair. By the roots. In clumps.”

— Charlaine Harris

95. “Bring it on, fur-ass!”

— Charlaine Harris

96. “I added to my mental list of the odd things I’d done that day. I’d entertained the police, sunbathed, visited at a mall with some fairies, weeded and killed someone. Now it was powdered-corpse removal time. And the day wasn’t over yet.”

— Charlaine Harris

97. “I’m supposed to be a christian, but most days I don’t feel like I can even presume to say that about myself any longer. I have a lot of mad left over. When I can’t sleep, I think about the other people who didn’t care how much pain and trouble they caused me. And I think about how good I’d feel if they died.”

— Charlaine Harris

98. “Life had sure been simpler when I hadn’t dated.”

— Charlaine Harris

99. “Bill said, “She is mine.” I wondered if my hands would move. They would. I raised both of them, making an unmistakable one-fingered gesture. Eric laughed, and Bill said “Sookie!” in shocked admonishment. “I think that Sookie is telling us she belongs to herself,” Eric said softly.”

— Charlaine Harris

100. “If I was getting harder, it was in response to the world around me.”

— Charlaine Harris