Top 200 Charlaine Harris Quotes (2024 Update)
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51. “Softie was not a word you could use in the same sentence as Eric.”

— Charlaine Harris

52. “His eyes were still like caves with ghosts dwelling in their depths.”

— Charlaine Harris

53. “It was beautiful Eric, who desired me, who was hungry for me, in a world that often let me know it could do very well without me.”

— Charlaine Harris

54. “Vampires. They wrote the book on possessive.”

— Charlaine Harris

55. “And since I’m going to be in the neighborhood, you thought I might do as an escort? To an orgy?”

— Charlaine Harris

56. “What had set the fae world off? I’d never seen one. Now you couldn’t throw a trowel without hitting a fairy.”

— Charlaine Harris

57. “The average woman would not be pondering how fast her date could kill her, but I’ll never be an average woman.”

— Charlaine Harris

58. “If I quit having fun, then it’s time for me to quit working.”

— Charlaine Harris

59. “Least said soonest meanded.”

— Charlaine Harris

60. “Somewhere, somewhere in this house, lurked a problem. For some reason, Jane’s legacy wasn’t entirely benevolent.”

— Charlaine Harris

61. “I often cried when I got angry; I hated that. Crying just made you look weak, no matter what triggered it.”

— Charlaine Harris

62. “Easy to exemplify my true feelings towards him.”

— Charlaine Harris

63. “What are you, Zen Master Fang?”

— Charlaine Harris

64. “Angelic Sookie, vision of love and beauty, I am prostrate that the wicked evil maenad violated your smooth and voluptuous body, in an attempt to deliver a message to me. -Eric.”

— Charlaine Harris

65. “Vampires often turn on those who trust them. We don’t have human values, you know.” “A lot of humans turn on those who trust them,” I pointed out. I can be practical. “I’m not a total fool.”

— Charlaine Harris

66. “For awhile I taped soap operas and watched them at night when I thought I might be forgetting what it was like to be human. After a while I stopped, because from the examples I saw on those shows, forgetting humanity was a good thing.”

— Charlaine Harris

67. “Sometimes, instead of going down the road less taken, you just charge down the beaten path.”

— Charlaine Harris

68. “Come on, lover, let’s have a look,” Eric said, giving me a quick kiss. He jumped off the back porch with me still attached to him – like a large barnacle.”

— Charlaine Harris

69. “Oh, God, puppy dog eyes. From a six-foot-five ancient Viking vampire.”

— Charlaine Harris

70. “Fiction just makes it all more interesting. Truth is so boring.”

— Charlaine Harris

71. “Despite the failure of Velda Cannon’s Depends, we’d had a great time.”

— Charlaine Harris

72. “Most humans were on one big island, to the fairies, and that island was adrift on a sea called I Totally Don’t Care.”

— Charlaine Harris

73. “There’s no way you can kill someone and get to the other side of the experience unchanged.”

— Charlaine Harris

74. “It must be one of the worst things in the world, to see your child revealed as a selfish little sadist.”

— Charlaine Harris

75. “It was somehow degrading, craving someone so... voraciously – another good calendar word – just because he was physically beautiful. I hadn’t thought that was something women did, either.”

— Charlaine Harris

76. “I so seldom had to dispose of a human body myself, I was at a loss. Fairies turned into dust, and vampires flaked away. Demons had to be burned. Humans were very troublesome.”

— Charlaine Harris

77. “Men sometimes have to leave their ladies alone, and ladies are not responsible for the bad manners of fools.”

— Charlaine Harris

78. “The cruelty of children is more shocking than the cruelty of adults. Not only was I shocked, I was angry. But it felt somehow wrong, unhealthy, to be so furious with a child.”

— Charlaine Harris

79. “The air was cold and wet, and if you stood still for a moment the chilling damp would creep into your bones. I could tell the temperature was taking a deep dive, and the bright sky of the morning was a fond memory. It was an appropriate day to dump a body.”

— Charlaine Harris

80. “It’s a sad comment on humans that none of them are tolerable to one who can read their minds.”

— Charlaine Harris

81. “I don’t write the kind of ‘happily ever after’ that romance readers enjoy.”

— Charlaine Harris

82. “We can’t leave this world without leaving a lot of detritus behind. We never go out as cleanly as we come in; and even when we come in, there’s the afterbirth.”

— Charlaine Harris

83. “Just because one of Arlene’s husbands was a murderer is no reason for me to be ugly.”

— Charlaine Harris

84. “My brother, Jason, came into the bar, then, and sauntered over to give me a hug. He knows that women like a man who’s good to his family and also kind to the disabled, so hugging me is a double whammy of recommendation.”

— Charlaine Harris

85. “Eric moved the broom experimentally and made an attempt to sweep the glass into the pan while it lay in the middle of the floor. Of course, the pan slid away. Eric scowled. I’d finally found something Eric did poorly.”

— Charlaine Harris

86. “I’ve often wished when I started a book I knew what was going to happen. I talked to writers who write 80-page outlines, and I’m just in awe of that.”

— Charlaine Harris

87. “Appius Livius Ocella made mistakes in his whole long existence. Perhaps changing Eric was his finest hour. He created the perfect vampire. Eric’s only flaw is you.”

— Charlaine Harris

88. “Look, how come he showed up now? When you have other fairies in the woods? And does that sound crazy when you say it out loud, or what?”

— Charlaine Harris

89. “The vampire is not a bad man, and he loves you.”

— Charlaine Harris

90. “I gripped the stapler even harder and felt like a fool planning to battle a crazy man with a stapler that even, I suddenly remembered, contained no staples. Well, strike that line of defense.”

— Charlaine Harris

91. “I think it’s ‘only polite’ that my wife should let me know when she’s entertaining a male visitor, furthermore one that has shared her bed.”

— Charlaine Harris

92. “No, I like you alive and warm and wiggling.”

— Charlaine Harris

93. “But in my book, it was basically bad taste to stare at someone’s assets, no matter how much on display they were.”

— Charlaine Harris

94. “I held on to my better nature by my fingernails but I held on.”

— Charlaine Harris

95. “I was surprised to find out there was a direct line from my palm to my, my, hootchie.”

— Charlaine Harris

96. “A dog – a collie – went up to Eric, looked up at his face, and growled. “Shoo,” Eric said, making an imperious gesture with his hand.”

— Charlaine Harris

97. “When I thought of Eric with someone else, I wanted to rip out all his beautiful blonde hair. By the roots. In clumps.”

— Charlaine Harris

98. “Though I was standing in front of a mirror, I wasn’t really seeing my reflection. I was seeing, very clearly, that – at the moment – I was all in the world that Eric could think of as his own. I had better not fail him.”

— Charlaine Harris

99. “Not since the dark days of the Twilight franchise had it been so trendy to be dead.”

— Charlaine Harris

100. “I abjure you,” Alcide said. Colonel Flood winced, and young Sid, Amanda, and Culpepper looked both astonished and impressed, as if this were a ceremony they’d never thought to witness. “I see you no longer. I hunt with you no longer. I share flesh with you no longer.”

— Charlaine Harris