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Top 10 Christian Lander Quotes (2025 Update)

Christian Lander Quote: “Right now, all white people are either wearing or coveting a pair of Ray-Ban Wayfarer sunglasses. These sunglasses are so popular now that you cannot swing a canvas bag at a farmer’s market without hitting a pair. In fact, at outdoor gatherings you should count the number of Wayfarers so you can determine exactly how white the event is. If you see no Wayfarers you are either at a country music concert or you are indoors.”

1. “Right now, all white people are either wearing or coveting a pair of Ray-Ban Wayfarer sunglasses. These sunglasses are so popular now that you cannot swing a canvas bag at a farmer’s market without hitting a pair. In fact, at outdoor gatherings you should count the number of Wayfarers so you can determine exactly how white the event is. If you see no Wayfarers you are either at a country music concert or you are indoors.”

— Christian Lander

Christian Lander Quote: “You don’t have to be white to be white, you just have to be rich.”

2. “You don’t have to be white to be white, you just have to be rich.”

— Christian Lander

Christian Lander Quote: “Since white people can’t really blame any race for their problems, they need to blame corporations.”

3. “Since white people can’t really blame any race for their problems, they need to blame corporations.”

— Christian Lander

Christian Lander Quote: “It is the dream of every white person to be able to resolve all conflicts by complaining to unrelated parties.”

4. “It is the dream of every white person to be able to resolve all conflicts by complaining to unrelated parties.”

— Christian Lander

Christian Lander Quote: “Under no circumstance should you ever accept an invitation to go see The Rocky Horror Picture Show. White people spend less time preparing for their SATs than they do for this movie.”

5. “Under no circumstance should you ever accept an invitation to go see The Rocky Horror Picture Show. White people spend less time preparing for their SATs than they do for this movie.”

— Christian Lander

Christian Lander Quote: “White people love ethnic diversity, but only as it relates to restaurants.”

6. “White people love ethnic diversity, but only as it relates to restaurants.”

— Christian Lander

Christian Lander Quote: “In addition to this artistic photography, white people have also started to take pictures of their food before they eat it. Some white people do this as a spiritual tribute to the food they are about to eat, but most white people do it so that they can post to Facebook or Twitter and prove to their friends that they ate from a cool food truck before it became too popular.”

7. “In addition to this artistic photography, white people have also started to take pictures of their food before they eat it. Some white people do this as a spiritual tribute to the food they are about to eat, but most white people do it so that they can post to Facebook or Twitter and prove to their friends that they ate from a cool food truck before it became too popular.”

— Christian Lander

Christian Lander Quote: “If white kids get crappy grades and can’t seem to ever do anything right in school, they are still gifted! How, you ask? They are just too smart for school. They are too creative, too advanced to care about the trivial minutiae of the day-to-day operations of school.”

8. “If white kids get crappy grades and can’t seem to ever do anything right in school, they are still gifted! How, you ask? They are just too smart for school. They are too creative, too advanced to care about the trivial minutiae of the day-to-day operations of school.”

— Christian Lander

Christian Lander Quote: “White people love “gifted” children. Do you know why? Because an astounding 100 percent of their kids are gifted! Isn’t that amazing?”

9. “White people love “gifted” children. Do you know why? Because an astounding 100 percent of their kids are gifted! Isn’t that amazing?”

— Christian Lander

Christian Lander Quote: “From their refined tastes in French wine to their fervent consumption of Maine’s microbrews, booze makes up a very important part of white culture.”

10. “From their refined tastes in French wine to their fervent consumption of Maine’s microbrews, booze makes up a very important part of white culture.”

— Christian Lander

Christian Lander Quote: “White people really do hate a significant portion of the population, yet for some reason they are petrified of doing anything that might make someone hate them back. It is a strange paradox.”

11. “White people really do hate a significant portion of the population, yet for some reason they are petrified of doing anything that might make someone hate them back. It is a strange paradox.”

— Christian Lander

Christian Lander Quote: “When white people envision their perfect home, it always has hardwood floors. In fact, most white people would prefer a dirt floor over wall-to-wall carpeting, because to them it would have the same level of cleanliness and probably fewer germs.”

12. “When white people envision their perfect home, it always has hardwood floors. In fact, most white people would prefer a dirt floor over wall-to-wall carpeting, because to them it would have the same level of cleanliness and probably fewer germs.”

— Christian Lander

Christian Lander Quote: “It may seem hard to understand why a group of white people would put this much energy into re-creating a problem that was solved 150 years ago, but remember, these are the same people who reenact the Civil War and listen to vinyl records.”

13. “It may seem hard to understand why a group of white people would put this much energy into re-creating a problem that was solved 150 years ago, but remember, these are the same people who reenact the Civil War and listen to vinyl records.”

— Christian Lander

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