Top 6 Colin Bateman Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “Also, I have a mornid fear of rates, and mice, and nettles and wasps and jagged cans and rotting food and damp newspapers and the unemployed.”

— Colin Bateman

2. “I then swept the crumbs into my palm and opened one of the empty drawers and poured them in. I was working on the theory that if I collected enough crumbs, eventually I could make my own Twix. It’s good to have a purpose in life.”

— Colin Bateman

3. “He was the type of man women said they hated, they absolutely hated, they absolutely and categorically hated, and then they went to bed with him. I was the type of man women said they hated, and then they went home.”

— Colin Bateman

4. “They asked me how I would be paying and I told them that if past experience was anything to go by probably with my life and the thin girl with the thick spectacles reached deep into her soul for a smile and repeated the question.”

— Colin Bateman

5. “And nobody has ever gotten emotional over a James Patterson novel.”

— Colin Bateman

6. “Life is too short to spend an hour and a half on a mystery that will ultimately be solved by a cat.”

— Colin Bateman

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