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Top 6 Colin Bateman Quotes (2026 Update)

Colin Bateman Quote: “Also, I have a mornid fear of rates, and mice, and nettles and wasps and jagged cans and rotting food and damp newspapers and the unemployed.”

1. “Also, I have a mornid fear of rates, and mice, and nettles and wasps and jagged cans and rotting food and damp newspapers and the unemployed.”

— Colin Bateman

Colin Bateman Quote: “He was the type of man women said they hated, they absolutely hated, they absolutely and categorically hated, and then they went to bed with him. I was the type of man women said they hated, and then they went home.”

2. “He was the type of man women said they hated, they absolutely hated, they absolutely and categorically hated, and then they went to bed with him. I was the type of man women said they hated, and then they went home.”

— Colin Bateman

Colin Bateman Quote: “I then swept the crumbs into my palm and opened one of the empty drawers and poured them in. I was working on the theory that if I collected enough crumbs, eventually I could make my own Twix. It’s good to have a purpose in life.”

3. “I then swept the crumbs into my palm and opened one of the empty drawers and poured them in. I was working on the theory that if I collected enough crumbs, eventually I could make my own Twix. It’s good to have a purpose in life.”

— Colin Bateman

Colin Bateman Quote: “They asked me how I would be paying and I told them that if past experience was anything to go by probably with my life and the thin girl with the thick spectacles reached deep into her soul for a smile and repeated the question.”

4. “They asked me how I would be paying and I told them that if past experience was anything to go by probably with my life and the thin girl with the thick spectacles reached deep into her soul for a smile and repeated the question.”

— Colin Bateman

Colin Bateman Quote: “And nobody has ever gotten emotional over a James Patterson novel.”

5. “And nobody has ever gotten emotional over a James Patterson novel.”

— Colin Bateman

Colin Bateman Quote: “Life is too short to spend an hour and a half on a mystery that will ultimately be solved by a cat.”

6. “Life is too short to spend an hour and a half on a mystery that will ultimately be solved by a cat.”

— Colin Bateman

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