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Top 25 Colin Jost Quotes (2025 Update)

Colin Jost Quote: “I’m a creature driven by a combination of guilt and FOMO, which often overrides any sense of self-preservation.”

1. “I’m a creature driven by a combination of guilt and FOMO, which often overrides any sense of self-preservation.”

Colin Jost Quote: “Speech and Debate is a sport, okay?”

2. “Speech and Debate is a sport, okay?”

Colin Jost Quote: “When President Howard Taft was campaigning for office, someone threw a cabbage at him, and he quipped, “I see one of my adversaries has lost his head.” BAM! You just got Taft-ed. Take a seat cabbage head.”

3. “When President Howard Taft was campaigning for office, someone threw a cabbage at him, and he quipped, “I see one of my adversaries has lost his head.” BAM! You just got Taft-ed. Take a seat cabbage head.”

Colin Jost Quote: “And the faster you find friends who challenge you and sometimes make you jealous, the faster you’ll grow as a comedian.”

4. “And the faster you find friends who challenge you and sometimes make you jealous, the faster you’ll grow as a comedian.”

Colin Jost Quote: “Eventually, I trained myself not to speak that way because I didn’t want people to single me out. I wanted to fit in other places, not just where I grew up. That’s why I now sound like an Ohio weatherman – neutral, friendly, and almost fully recovered after escaping that cult.”

5. “Eventually, I trained myself not to speak that way because I didn’t want people to single me out. I wanted to fit in other places, not just where I grew up. That’s why I now sound like an Ohio weatherman – neutral, friendly, and almost fully recovered after escaping that cult.”

Colin Jost Quote: “Super religious people are basically saying, “You have to see Jesus! Otherwise you’ll never get to heaven!” And I keep thinking, Yeah... but I don’t want to go to heaven if you’re gonna be there...”

6. “Super religious people are basically saying, “You have to see Jesus! Otherwise you’ll never get to heaven!” And I keep thinking, Yeah... but I don’t want to go to heaven if you’re gonna be there...”

Colin Jost Quote: “Average, of course, is so much better than below average. But when you meet people who are extraordinary, average feels humiliating. I wish it didn’t, but it does.”

7. “Average, of course, is so much better than below average. But when you meet people who are extraordinary, average feels humiliating. I wish it didn’t, but it does.”

Colin Jost Quote: “I now hate the phrase ‘That will work.’ It’s such a mediocre goal to set for yourself.”

8. “I now hate the phrase ‘That will work.’ It’s such a mediocre goal to set for yourself.”

Colin Jost Quote: “Eventually, all our graves go unattended.” – CONAN O’BRIEN.”

9. “Eventually, all our graves go unattended.” – CONAN O’BRIEN.”

Colin Jost Quote: “The reality is: Staten Island is like 90 percent of the country – it’s slow to change, but most of the people are fundamentally good people. They’re just set in their ways. After all, it’s an island. It has its own evolution.”

10. “The reality is: Staten Island is like 90 percent of the country – it’s slow to change, but most of the people are fundamentally good people. They’re just set in their ways. After all, it’s an island. It has its own evolution.”

Colin Jost Quote: “So if you’re like me and you’re not always sure how to feel about your hometown, remember what Method Man once said: “I’m in between homes right now, but my last house was dope.”

11. “So if you’re like me and you’re not always sure how to feel about your hometown, remember what Method Man once said: “I’m in between homes right now, but my last house was dope.”

Colin Jost Quote: “As Lorne says, ‘Careers are made by choices.”

12. “As Lorne says, ‘Careers are made by choices.”

Colin Jost Quote: “That’s what Harvard was like: thinking you’re pretty good at something, then meeting someone who is really good or even one of the best in the world. And that doesn’t mean they get good grades. A lot of the most famous alumni left without graduating because their work became more important than school. People like Bill Gates, Matt Damon, and Mark Zuckerberg. And you know who did graduate? The Unabomber, Ted Kaczynski. The point is: Never graduate from Harvard.”

13. “That’s what Harvard was like: thinking you’re pretty good at something, then meeting someone who is really good or even one of the best in the world. And that doesn’t mean they get good grades. A lot of the most famous alumni left without graduating because their work became more important than school. People like Bill Gates, Matt Damon, and Mark Zuckerberg. And you know who did graduate? The Unabomber, Ted Kaczynski. The point is: Never graduate from Harvard.”

Colin Jost Quote: “Lorne always says, ‘You never want to be the smartest person in the room,’ because you always want to challenge yourself and try to get to the level of the people you admire.”

14. “Lorne always says, ‘You never want to be the smartest person in the room,’ because you always want to challenge yourself and try to get to the level of the people you admire.”

Colin Jost Quote: “Maybe that’s why most people never move off Staten Island – they’re terrified of hitting traffic on the way out.”

15. “Maybe that’s why most people never move off Staten Island – they’re terrified of hitting traffic on the way out.”

Colin Jost Quote: “To this day I’m always more productive while traveling because I know the journey itself is getting me somewhere, and that frees my mind to be more creative. There’s a reason it took an American to invent the rocking chair – because even when we’re sitting still, we like to feel like we’re in motion.”

16. “To this day I’m always more productive while traveling because I know the journey itself is getting me somewhere, and that frees my mind to be more creative. There’s a reason it took an American to invent the rocking chair – because even when we’re sitting still, we like to feel like we’re in motion.”

Colin Jost Quote: “I’ve been very lucky to have a job this great for this long. When I look back someday, I think that my time at SNL will seem like the best years of my life. But I also think that my best life is still yet to come. And if not, I can always beg Lorne for my job back.”

17. “I’ve been very lucky to have a job this great for this long. When I look back someday, I think that my time at SNL will seem like the best years of my life. But I also think that my best life is still yet to come. And if not, I can always beg Lorne for my job back.”

Colin Jost Quote: “The truth is, I’ve always had a chip on my shoulder about my hometown. But it stems from a deep insecurity that I don’t really belong anywhere.”

18. “The truth is, I’ve always had a chip on my shoulder about my hometown. But it stems from a deep insecurity that I don’t really belong anywhere.”

Colin Jost Quote: “You need to say what you’re thinking a lot more and not be afraid of being judged or being inarticulate or offensive or boring.”

19. “You need to say what you’re thinking a lot more and not be afraid of being judged or being inarticulate or offensive or boring.”

Colin Jost Quote: “One of my great joys in life was making a movie with Method Man, who told me he would never leave Staten Island because it was the only place in America where he could get pulled over and the cops were actually excited to see him.”

20. “One of my great joys in life was making a movie with Method Man, who told me he would never leave Staten Island because it was the only place in America where he could get pulled over and the cops were actually excited to see him.”

Colin Jost Quote: “We need illusions in order to dream. And then we need to discard illusions in order to grow.” – LINDSEY BUCKINGHAM.”

21. “We need illusions in order to dream. And then we need to discard illusions in order to grow.” – LINDSEY BUCKINGHAM.”

Colin Jost Quote: “Tiger Woods said that he’s always nervous before a big tournament because if you’re not nervous, it means you don’t care. I’m still at least a little nervous before every set I do, even a ten-minute spot at a bar downtown for twenty-five people and zero money. Because I care very deeply about doing a set I’m proud of and that I stand behind.”

22. “Tiger Woods said that he’s always nervous before a big tournament because if you’re not nervous, it means you don’t care. I’m still at least a little nervous before every set I do, even a ten-minute spot at a bar downtown for twenty-five people and zero money. Because I care very deeply about doing a set I’m proud of and that I stand behind.”

Colin Jost Quote: “Che got me to think about Update in a different way. He taught me that if you try to do something you love and something someone else wants you to do, the both suffer, and the thing you love might disappear entirely.”

23. “Che got me to think about Update in a different way. He taught me that if you try to do something you love and something someone else wants you to do, the both suffer, and the thing you love might disappear entirely.”

Colin Jost Quote: “I submitted dozens of pieces for every issue, and even if only a couple made it into the magazine, I was still learning from all the rejections, too. My thought process was always: Keep writing new stuff. Don’t worry what gets accepted or rejected. Just keep moving forward and keep improving.”

24. “I submitted dozens of pieces for every issue, and even if only a couple made it into the magazine, I was still learning from all the rejections, too. My thought process was always: Keep writing new stuff. Don’t worry what gets accepted or rejected. Just keep moving forward and keep improving.”

Colin Jost Quote: “We do survive every moment, after all, except the last one.” – JOHN UPDIKE.”

25. “We do survive every moment, after all, except the last one.” – JOHN UPDIKE.”

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