Top 100

Top 60 Craig Kilborn Quotes (2024 Update)
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Craig Kilborn Quote: “You may have heard this, that NASA discovered water on Mars When he heard about the water on Mars, President Bush said, ‘Is it regular or unleaded?’”
Craig Kilborn Quote: “The prison scandal is really hurting President Bush’s poll numbers. In fact, I hear he’s already working on his concession smirk.”
Craig Kilborn Quote: “Bryant Gumbel is thrilled about his CBS deal and can’t wait to start alienating the staff of an entirely new network.”
Craig Kilborn Quote: “Ironically, the possibility that the president dodged his military service has increased his approval ratings with Democrats by 80 percent.”
Craig Kilborn Quote: “Larry Flynt, running for governor of California. His goal – change our state bird to the spread eagle.”
Craig Kilborn Quote: “George W. Bush even stopped in Pennsylvania to try his hand at the lotto and gave up when he could only think of the numbers 4 and 17.”
Craig Kilborn Quote: “Martha Stewart was convicted of four counts of lying and obstruction of justice and could serve up to 20 years in Congress.”
Craig Kilborn Quote: “John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle.”
Craig Kilborn Quote: “As fighting in Iraq intensifies, President Bush delivered his supplemental war budget to Congress. The money will cover 30 days of fighting, then we’ll be sent one war every other month until we cancel our subscription.”
Craig Kilborn Quote: “The places I’ve worked in the past, I always stayed three years and moved on.”
Craig Kilborn Quote: “I don’t want to scare anybody here but we just received word from police that Howard Dean is loose and may be armed with a microphone.”
Craig Kilborn Quote: “Hillary Clinton has finished writing her book where she says her marriage couldn’t be stronger, and Bill just finished his book titled ‘Chicks I Nailed While Hillary was Writing Her Book.’”
Craig Kilborn Quote: “There are 300,000 new jobs and Bush said he’s confused, ‘Can I take credit for good news that I didn’t even make up?’”
Craig Kilborn Quote: “Singer Boy Dylan was stopped at his own sow by security guards who failed to recognize the singer. Asked to comment, Dylan replied, ‘I can hardly blame them. Look at me.’”
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