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Top 25 Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quotes (2025 Update)

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote: “Are we not men? Does the boat approach, Bedivere? I don’t want to be king again, no matter how great the need or dark the hour. Don’t make any promises on my headstone, Bedivere; I make you no promises now. Are we not men? God, why won’t any of you touch me, or hold my hand?”

1. “Are we not men? Does the boat approach, Bedivere? I don’t want to be king again, no matter how great the need or dark the hour. Don’t make any promises on my headstone, Bedivere; I make you no promises now. Are we not men? God, why won’t any of you touch me, or hold my hand?”

— Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote: “As my friend Julian puts it, only half winkingly: “God blessed me by making me transsexual for the same reason God made wheat but not bread and fruit but not wine, so that humanity might share in the act of creation.”

2. “As my friend Julian puts it, only half winkingly: “God blessed me by making me transsexual for the same reason God made wheat but not bread and fruit but not wine, so that humanity might share in the act of creation.”

— Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote: “There is a certain type of beautiful boy who plays Ultimate Frisbee and invites you to come watch his game,” I said, “not because he is vain and self-centered, although he maybe is, but because it is the only way he knows how to invite someone to share in his particular joy, and I think maybe the only thing I have ever wanted is to be a very beautiful, very dead, gentle boy that everyone gathers around and looks at.”

3. “There is a certain type of beautiful boy who plays Ultimate Frisbee and invites you to come watch his game,” I said, “not because he is vain and self-centered, although he maybe is, but because it is the only way he knows how to invite someone to share in his particular joy, and I think maybe the only thing I have ever wanted is to be a very beautiful, very dead, gentle boy that everyone gathers around and looks at.”

— Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote: “Resolutely cheerful, unrepentantly sentimental, unfortunately prone to Peter Pan syndrome, in a bafflingly nonspecific relationship with a tall, beautiful woman, deeply enthusiastic about terrible hobbies, a tendency toward overdressing, neglectful or at the least careless of his health – Gomez Addams could have walked out of a pamphlet on trans-specific medical care from Vancouver Coastal Health.”

4. “Resolutely cheerful, unrepentantly sentimental, unfortunately prone to Peter Pan syndrome, in a bafflingly nonspecific relationship with a tall, beautiful woman, deeply enthusiastic about terrible hobbies, a tendency toward overdressing, neglectful or at the least careless of his health – Gomez Addams could have walked out of a pamphlet on trans-specific medical care from Vancouver Coastal Health.”

— Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote: “Is there anything gayer than refusing to ask someone out, then holding them personally responsible for the silent, ever-increasing intensity of your feelings until they tell you casually they’re going on a date with someone who asked them out, then exploding with despair? Almost certainly, but no one will tell me what it is.”

5. “Is there anything gayer than refusing to ask someone out, then holding them personally responsible for the silent, ever-increasing intensity of your feelings until they tell you casually they’re going on a date with someone who asked them out, then exploding with despair? Almost certainly, but no one will tell me what it is.”

— Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote: “Transition had not always been true of me, but I found that the more place I allowed it in my life, the further back it cast its roots. Whether or not the birthright had been mine to begin with or ever intended for me, I found the burden easy and the yoke light.”

6. “Transition had not always been true of me, but I found that the more place I allowed it in my life, the further back it cast its roots. Whether or not the birthright had been mine to begin with or ever intended for me, I found the burden easy and the yoke light.”

— Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote: “On the one hand, here is death: stagnant, permanent, immobilized, silent, unvarying, inactive, formless, characterless, shrinking, constrictive, irreversible. On the other hand, here is transition: active, forceful, adaptable, energetic, animated, expansive, full of possibility, capacious, comprehensive, vital, ambitious.”

7. “On the one hand, here is death: stagnant, permanent, immobilized, silent, unvarying, inactive, formless, characterless, shrinking, constrictive, irreversible. On the other hand, here is transition: active, forceful, adaptable, energetic, animated, expansive, full of possibility, capacious, comprehensive, vital, ambitious.”

— Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote: “The idea of tending to anything that belonged to me – my home, my clothes, my appearance – was unbearable, because everything at that time depended on my not having a body. Washing the dishes meant acknowledging that I had hands to wash them with, a stomach to fill, a hunger to address, a body to nourish.”

8. “The idea of tending to anything that belonged to me – my home, my clothes, my appearance – was unbearable, because everything at that time depended on my not having a body. Washing the dishes meant acknowledging that I had hands to wash them with, a stomach to fill, a hunger to address, a body to nourish.”

— Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote: “Trying not to transition was the hardest work in the world. The nicest thing about transition was letting go.”

9. “Trying not to transition was the hardest work in the world. The nicest thing about transition was letting go.”

— Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote: “I had grown comfortable at the thought of my body as a public resource that I was responsible for holding in trust. I had been charged with its maintenance and general upkeep, and on the strength of such a relationship had been able to develop a certain vague fondness for it, while also maintaining a pleasant distance. Don’t ask me; I just work here, was my attitude. I can let the supervisors know when there’s a problem and they tell me how to fix it.”

10. “I had grown comfortable at the thought of my body as a public resource that I was responsible for holding in trust. I had been charged with its maintenance and general upkeep, and on the strength of such a relationship had been able to develop a certain vague fondness for it, while also maintaining a pleasant distance. Don’t ask me; I just work here, was my attitude. I can let the supervisors know when there’s a problem and they tell me how to fix it.”

— Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote: “If someone were to drop a little bit of leftover testosterone on the ground, and I couldn’t find the owner and there weren’t any trans people around, and it was about to go bad, I would probably take it, in the interest of preventing waste. That would just be sensible.”

11. “If someone were to drop a little bit of leftover testosterone on the ground, and I couldn’t find the owner and there weren’t any trans people around, and it was about to go bad, I would probably take it, in the interest of preventing waste. That would just be sensible.”

— Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote: “As soon as I allowed myself to consider the possibility of transition, not as it related to other people but as it related to me, I had to fight not to transition every day.”

12. “As soon as I allowed myself to consider the possibility of transition, not as it related to other people but as it related to me, I had to fight not to transition every day.”

— Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote: “Nobody is asking me to apologize for anything, but I still want to, if only for the pleasure and the sweetness and the release of being forgiven.”

13. “Nobody is asking me to apologize for anything, but I still want to, if only for the pleasure and the sweetness and the release of being forgiven.”

— Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote: “I needed boys to leave me alone so that I could be properly alone with boys.”

14. “I needed boys to leave me alone so that I could be properly alone with boys.”

— Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote: “Whenever someone has put something beautiful in front of me, I have always tried to solve it. I don’t know if that’s something I should apologize for or not.”

15. “Whenever someone has put something beautiful in front of me, I have always tried to solve it. I don’t know if that’s something I should apologize for or not.”

— Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote: “Here is the other Mode of Gay Feeling: You still look fantastic, but your stomach hurts and you will never get out of bed. You have learned that rolling your sleeves up over your forearms is very useful to you, sexually speaking, but the person you love and the people you sleep with have absolutely nothing in common, including what they think of your forearms.”

16. “Here is the other Mode of Gay Feeling: You still look fantastic, but your stomach hurts and you will never get out of bed. You have learned that rolling your sleeves up over your forearms is very useful to you, sexually speaking, but the person you love and the people you sleep with have absolutely nothing in common, including what they think of your forearms.”

— Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote: “A few years later, with a transition slightly less bed-centered, I might have described that feeling instead as this: after a number of years of being vaguely troubled by an inconsistent, inexplicable sense of homesickness, I woke up one morning and remembered my home address, having forgotten even that I forgot it in the first place, then grown fearful and weary at the prospect of trying to get back.”

17. “A few years later, with a transition slightly less bed-centered, I might have described that feeling instead as this: after a number of years of being vaguely troubled by an inconsistent, inexplicable sense of homesickness, I woke up one morning and remembered my home address, having forgotten even that I forgot it in the first place, then grown fearful and weary at the prospect of trying to get back.”

— Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote: “Chapter Eleven: In Which I Interview Every Man Who Refused to Walk Through a Door I Held Open for Them Before Transition and Inform Them that They Are Retroactively Gay Now.”

18. “Chapter Eleven: In Which I Interview Every Man Who Refused to Walk Through a Door I Held Open for Them Before Transition and Inform Them that They Are Retroactively Gay Now.”

— Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote: “My childhood was not especially useful to my adulthood, which I found bitterly disappointing.”

19. “My childhood was not especially useful to my adulthood, which I found bitterly disappointing.”

— Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote: “One no longer has to fight battles after giving up; something new can happen then. Once you accept that you’re going bald you can start to look for toupees; once the mountains are in the sea you can stop imagining they’re going to move at your command; once the blow hits, you are free of the dread of the blow, and you can start to mend from it.”

20. “One no longer has to fight battles after giving up; something new can happen then. Once you accept that you’re going bald you can start to look for toupees; once the mountains are in the sea you can stop imagining they’re going to move at your command; once the blow hits, you are free of the dread of the blow, and you can start to mend from it.”

— Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote: “I often described my sudden shift in self-awareness as feeling as if a demon had entered my room in the middle of the night, startled me awake by whispering, “What if you were a man, sort of?” into my ear, then slithered out the window before I could ask any follow-up questions.”

21. “I often described my sudden shift in self-awareness as feeling as if a demon had entered my room in the middle of the night, startled me awake by whispering, “What if you were a man, sort of?” into my ear, then slithered out the window before I could ask any follow-up questions.”

— Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote: “I have been, and sort of am, a good woman. I could be, and sort of am, a good man. Neither option is forbidden to me, and I don’t believe there is an inherent virtue in, I don’t know, “lifelong gender consistency.” One is not better or worse than the other, and I don’t believe that a shifting sense of identity is wrong, or a sign of unwellness.”

22. “I have been, and sort of am, a good woman. I could be, and sort of am, a good man. Neither option is forbidden to me, and I don’t believe there is an inherent virtue in, I don’t know, “lifelong gender consistency.” One is not better or worse than the other, and I don’t believe that a shifting sense of identity is wrong, or a sign of unwellness.”

— Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote: “Chapter Thirteen: In Which I Rescue Masculinity by Taking Up Weight Lifting, Heroically It’s subversive and important when I do it.”

23. “Chapter Thirteen: In Which I Rescue Masculinity by Taking Up Weight Lifting, Heroically It’s subversive and important when I do it.”

— Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote: “One of the biggest hypothetical problems when it comes to transitioning is that it really fouls up your time-travel fantasies, or at least muddles them for a good long while.”

24. “One of the biggest hypothetical problems when it comes to transitioning is that it really fouls up your time-travel fantasies, or at least muddles them for a good long while.”

— Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote: “I wanted to promise that this would be the last change, that I would never make excessive demands on the people who I believed were bound to love me, believing as I did that their loving and my changing was somehow a rupture or a violation of the agreement I had entered into by being born.”

25. “I wanted to promise that this would be the last change, that I would never make excessive demands on the people who I believed were bound to love me, believing as I did that their loving and my changing was somehow a rupture or a violation of the agreement I had entered into by being born.”

— Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Daniel Mallory Ortberg Quote: “Even if I never read another book, I’m still a person with intrinsic value, and later I’ll be a river.”

26. “Even if I never read another book, I’m still a person with intrinsic value, and later I’ll be a river.”

— Daniel Mallory Ortberg

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