Top 35 Daniel O'Malley Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “A clean mind and a clean body make for a perfect weapon.”

— Daniel O'Malley

2. “You’re a tool, to be used and directed for the good of the people. Sometimes you’ll be a scalpel, cutting out disease. Sometimes you’ll be a sword, and you’ll take on threats with all the strength you can muster. And sometimes, Odette, you’ll be a stiletto, a hidden weapon that slides quietly into the heart.”

— Daniel O'Malley

3. “If Judas Iscariot were alive, and a woman, and attending formal functions, wearing this dress would still represent a disproportionate punishment for his sins.” “Her.”

— Daniel O'Malley

4. “Dear You, The body you are wearing used to be mine.”

— Daniel O'Malley

5. “You think I’m in a daze because you’re handsome? I’m in a daze because I could crush you.”

— Daniel O'Malley

6. “That’s the Rookery. It is hidden from the eyes of the populace, a secret fortress that protects the normal people even as they remain ignorant of it. It is a testament to the willingness of humanity to ignore the obvious.”

— Daniel O'Malley

7. “There is no way this conversation is not going to get horrible, thought Odette. No situation is improved by the presence of a gigantic anus. At.”

— Daniel O'Malley

8. “Historically, its primary industries had been agriculture and a sort of willful illiteracy.”

— Daniel O'Malley

9. “We were ushered into the special reception room that important people go to so they won’t have to ensure Customs. It’s luxurious and private, and you don’t have to mingle with the public. It’s the room that you wait in if you are very, very powerful and once got shitfaced with Joseph of Arimathea. Or if you are Mick Jagger.”

— Daniel O'Malley

10. “Yes, Minister, it turns out that there was a mysterious force that caused that plane to crash. We call it gravity.”

— Daniel O'Malley

11. “You should be proud to show off your breasts, Myfanwy Thomas,” Lisa declared loudly in front of everyone. “Sorry?” Just kill me. “They’re fine! A little small, but with a lovely shape. You should be nursing babies! Giving suck!” She gestured elaborately. Kill me now.”

— Daniel O'Malley

12. “She felt a little pang of fondness for the woman who’d lived in her body. You couldn’t help liking someone who put all this effort into making you feel welcome.”

— Daniel O'Malley

13. “Kasturi, the second housemate, was hibernating on a plinth in her bedroom. I must remember to go in and dust her, Felicity told herself.”

— Daniel O'Malley

14. “During its sixteen years in the field, it achieved a series of seemingly impossible tasks, culminating with the destruction of a 488-year-old vampire who had been secretly controlling the wheat industry for 252 of those years. Keep in mind that in an episode that occurred in 1980, it took forty-five soldiers to kill a sixty-four-year-old vampire. Gestalt is tough.”

— Daniel O'Malley

15. “We weather the vagaries of history, welcoming new rulers and bending knees to those in power, whoever they may be. We are a tool of the nation, an asset of the British Isles. Those who work within the Checquy can accomplish what no one else can, and so they are the secret arm of the kingdom.”

— Daniel O'Malley

16. “Behind me, Ingrid made a sort of muffled snorting sound. I can only assume she was choking on a breath mint. I shot her a look, hoping she hadn’t heard anything, and saw she was wearing a poker face, which could only mean she’d heard everything.”

— Daniel O'Malley

17. “Unlike most other members of the Court, I do not regard the non-powered as being lesser. Perhaps it is because I lack the courage to go out and face what they do, but in any case I know they are just as good as me. Still, by long-standing tradition and policy, non-powered individuals cannot become members of the Court – the ruling circle. The Court answers to the highest individuals in the land only, and not always to them.”

— Daniel O'Malley

18. “This duck tells me nothing!”

— Daniel O'Malley

19. “She’d neglected makeup entirely, and those damn black eyes lent her the appearance of a raccoon. A raccoon that had gotten hit in the face. After a lifetime of poor nutrition. The silence was broken only by the humming of the lift, and it felt conspicuous.”

— Daniel O'Malley

20. “Oh, and he’s missing an eye.” “Right,” said the trooper. He sounded a little taken aback. “Brilliant, we’re on it.” He spoke into his radio, issued instructions. “So, which eye is he missing?” “This one,” she said, holding up her hand.”

— Daniel O'Malley

21. “Here was the real lobby, obviously. A high ceiling arched gracefully. Elevator doors lined the walls, and she recalled from her reading that some led to the underground garage and some to the upper levels – a deliberate move to ensure that everyone entering the building had to go through multiple layers of security and pass the exceptionally large and prominently armed guards who sat at the ring of desks in the center. It was a beautiful room, and it was filled with people bustling about.”

— Daniel O'Malley

22. “Having someone prancing around with an active chain saw while the ground shifted seemed spectacularly unwise.”

— Daniel O'Malley

23. “Rook Thomas, I just got a call from your counterpart’s assistant – all of the bodies were out of town on different assignments over the weekend, and none of them will be back for a few hours, so your Monday-morning meeting is going to be pushed back,” said Ingrid, coming in with the renovated coffee.”

— Daniel O'Malley

24. “The interior of the animal was much as one would expect: close and dark and damp, with an odd smell. It was rather, Odette thought, like trying to enter a really popular nightclub on New Year’s Eve.”

— Daniel O'Malley

25. “The key, as when one interacted with kindergartners, was not to acknowledge the immeasurable horror of what you were dealing with.”

— Daniel O'Malley

26. “Don’t think of it as urine,” Pawn Odgers advised her. “Try to think of it as an olfactory disguise.” Felicity tried and was not measurably comforted. “But.”

— Daniel O'Malley

27. “Alessio reached out and took the suit as if it were made out of the scrota of war criminals.”

— Daniel O'Malley

28. “She was especially interested in my day at the hospital but endured my descriptions of all my possessions and the minutiae of my day. I think it was her patience that endeared her to me. How often does a nine-year-old child have such a fascinated audience? In any case, she had listened, and now I found myself face-to-face with her.”

— Daniel O'Malley

29. “The meeting with the people from accounting proved spectacularly uninteresting as Myfanwy learned how cheaply one could surreptitiously remove plague-infected bodies and dissect them.”

— Daniel O'Malley

30. “Don’t worry if the name means nothing to you. Most people never hear of it at all, but it has been in existence for centuries.”

— Daniel O'Malley

31. “This time, there weren’t even any screams. The rest of the police decided to wait quietly for the arrival of someone who was being paid enough to deal with this shite. The.”

— Daniel O'Malley

32. “It is a testament to the willingness of humanity to ignore the obvious.”

— Daniel O'Malley

33. “No situation is improved by the presence of a gigantic anus.”

— Daniel O'Malley

34. “Over the centuries, many Pawns had fallen prey to the seductive charms of succubi, incubi, and, in several memorable and bewildering instances, incunabula.”

— Daniel O'Malley

35. “We’re being invaded by evil Belgian fleshcrafters, and I have nothing to wear.”

— Daniel O'Malley

36. “A little old lady came walking by with two Scottie dogs in little tartan coats. She sat down on the bench by Odette and silently took her hand. Nothing was said between them, but they held hands until Odette ran out of tears. The lady gave her a clean handkerchief, and Odette mumbled something thankful.”

— Daniel O'Malley