Top 90 Dave Chappelle Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “I support anyone’s right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate in your self-image?”

— Dave Chappelle

2. “Chivalry is dead. Women killed it.”

— Dave Chappelle

3. “The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark.”

— Dave Chappelle

4. “The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it.”

— Dave Chappelle

5. “The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.”

— Dave Chappelle

6. “Hey hey hey, smoke weed everyday.”

— Dave Chappelle

7. “My father told me ‘Name your price in the beginning. If it ever gets more expensive than the price you name, get out of there.’”

— Dave Chappelle

8. “You got to be careful of the company you keep.”

— Dave Chappelle

9. “Constantly take inventory of what’s important to you.”

— Dave Chappelle

10. “I don’t do drugs, though. Just weed.”

— Dave Chappelle

11. “You know, be able to do something great in your life, you’re gonna have to realize your failures. You’re gonna have to embrace them and figure out how to overcome it.”

— Dave Chappelle

12. “The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It’s dismissive.”

— Dave Chappelle

13. “Where I’m from? A little town called none of yo god damn business.”

— Dave Chappelle

14. “You’ve got to say ‘yes’ to your destiny. Life’s happening right now, look around you. There goes some life. Come on, Mamma, live!”

— Dave Chappelle

15. “I enjoy my own thoughts sometimes.”

— Dave Chappelle

16. “Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.”

— Dave Chappelle

17. “No one wants to get their ass beat to a soundtrack.”

— Dave Chappelle

18. “I always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave.”

— Dave Chappelle

19. “Dave! Relax! Close your buttcheeks!”

— Dave Chappelle

20. “What did the 5 fingers say to the face. S L A P!”

— Dave Chappelle

21. “If you don’t have the right people around you and you’re moving at a million miles an hour you can lose yourself.”

— Dave Chappelle

22. “Every black American is bilingual. All of them. We speak street vernacular and we speak ‘job interview.’”

— Dave Chappelle

23. “I don’t normally talk about my religion publicly because I don’t want people to associate me and my flaws with this beautiful thing. And I believe it is beautiful if you learn it the right way.”

— Dave Chappelle

24. “If I can make a teacher’s salary doing comedy, I think that’s better than being a teacher.”

— Dave Chappelle

25. “The world can’t tell you who you are. You’ve just got to figure out who you are and be there, for better or worse.”

— Dave Chappelle

26. “If I put forth a legitimate effort, then I feel like, if that doesn’t work out, that’s all I can do.”

— Dave Chappelle

27. “Things like racism are institutionalized. You might not know any bigots. You feel like “well I don’t hate black people so I’m not a racist,” but you benefit from racism. Just by the merit, the color of your skin. The opportunities that you have, you’re privileged in ways that you might not even realize because you haven’t been deprived of certain things. We need to talk about these things in order for them to change.”

— Dave Chappelle

28. “Why don’t you click your heels three times and go back to Africa.”

— Dave Chappelle

29. “I wish I had more hands, so I could give those titties four thumbs down!”

— Dave Chappelle

30. “You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.”

— Dave Chappelle

31. “I think extreme sports are really good for relieving stress.”

— Dave Chappelle

32. “I’m cool with failing so long as I know that there are people around me that love me unconditionally.”

— Dave Chappelle

33. “Is this the 5:00 Free Crack Giveaway?”

— Dave Chappelle

34. “I love being famous – it’s phenomenal.”

— Dave Chappelle

35. “My kids look actually happy. And I learned early on that perfectionism and parenthood is a toxic combination for everybody involved. In other words, so many things can flourish naturally. All you gotta do is make sure the soil’s right. I view myself more like a guide than a ruler.”

— Dave Chappelle

36. “They do what they do for money – that’s all. I don’t even know why you’re listening to me. I’ve done commercials for both Coke and Pepsi. Truth is, I can’t even taste the difference, but Pepsi paid me last, so there it is.”

— Dave Chappelle

37. “I get a little heated when I talk about the past. But I wanted to be clear – I’m not mad at anybody – not anymore.”

— Dave Chappelle

38. “My generation is under-entertained.”

— Dave Chappelle

39. “I have a very good life, a high quality of life. I have both money and time. No one has that.”

— Dave Chappelle

40. “One of the things that happens when people make the leap from a certain amount of money to tens of millions of dollars is that the people around you dramatically change.”

— Dave Chappelle

41. “America, I appreciate you liking me.”

— Dave Chappelle

42. “I felt in a lot of instances I was deliberately being put through stress because when you’re a guy who generates money, people have a vested interested in controlling you.”

— Dave Chappelle

43. “New white people, you can’t scare these white people, I tried.”

— Dave Chappelle

44. “If you’re Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, and your marriage is breaking up – that’s an awful thing. But to see that speculation in people, it’s gotta sting a little bit.”

— Dave Chappelle

45. “I think one artist to another artist, the best compliment you can pay one another, because the part of you that is inspired or creates something, to write a joke or a song, that’s like the God-like part of a person.”

— Dave Chappelle

46. “I don’t want the money. I don’t want the drama. I just want to do my show. I want to have fun again.”

— Dave Chappelle

Featured in: Fun Quotes

47. “Ralph Nader has slavery reparations on his platform, which makes me think he’s not serious. If he thought he could win he wouldn’t even say that.”

— Dave Chappelle

48. “What is wrong with me i just bought a bag of weed from an infant.”

— Dave Chappelle

49. “I want to tell my jokes. I want to have time with my children. I want to entertain people. And at one point, I’ll walk away from show business. But I don’t want to walk away empty-handed.”

— Dave Chappelle

50. “You can’t get unfamous. You can get infamous but you can’t get unfamous.”

— Dave Chappelle