Top 50 Dave Villager Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “Oh dear,” said Dave. “What happened to the chicken?” “We ate it,” said Carl.”

— Dave Villager

2. “Good gravy,” gasped Porkins. “I’ve got to get a pair of those.”

— Dave Villager

3. “Good idea,” said Carl. “Maybe there’ll be some traders in town with more potatoes.” “Can you give this ridiculous obsession with potatoes a rest?” said Spidroth. “Hey,” said Carl, “don’t insult potatoes.” “I wasn’t insulting potatoes,” said Spidroth, “I was insulting you.” “Oh,” said Carl. “That’s not so bad then.”

— Dave Villager

4. “How old are you? Early-thirties.”

— Dave Villager

5. “Do you think I’ll ever eat baked potatoes again?” Carl blurted out. “Vioroth said she doesn’t think there are any potatoes on this continent. What if that’s right? I don’t think I can live without baked potatoes. They’re just too delicious.”

— Dave Villager

6. “Knock it off, you two,” said Dave. “Porkins is right – you need to share.” “Yes, Dad,” said Carl. “Wait,” said Alex, looking confused, “is Dave your dad, Carl? I never knew that.” “Oh brother,” said Carl. “Wait, he’s your brother?” said Alex. “Now I’m very confused.”

— Dave Villager

7. “Don’t forget us when you’re both rich and famous, chaps,” said Porkins. “I can’t promise that,” said Carl. “If I get rich and famous, I’m going to live in a big diamond house with lots of guard wolves, so I can just sit around eating baked potatoes all day. If anyone tries to disturb me, the wolves will slay them on sight. So, you’d best be careful.” “Crikey,” said Porkins, his cheeks turning pale. “Idiots,” said Spidroth, rolling her eyes.”

— Dave Villager

8. “Thank goodness for your enormous nose, Dave,” said Alex. “It really came in handy.” “Yeah,” said Dave, rubbing his sore nose. “Thank goodness.”

— Dave Villager

9. “But if OG Spidroth has the eyes of ender, she’s probably already found the end portal and gone through. She might be hanging out with the Ender Dragon right now, both of them laughing and joking about how evil they are.”

— Dave Villager

10. “Dave watched as Porkins fell down into the void. The pigman was waving at them as he fell, and Dave could have sworn he was smiling. And then the darkness swallowed him, and Porkins was gone.”

— Dave Villager

11. “Got it,” said Carl, and he disappeared down the corridor in his iron suit.”

— Dave Villager

12. “No foe can stand against us. We are all seasoned warriors. Even the creeper isn’t too terrible at fighting.” “Wow, Spidroth,” said Carl, “I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said about me. And to return the favor, I want to tell you how much I love that bright red skin of yours. It makes you look just like a big, freaky apple.”

— Dave Villager

13. “We’ll send you a postcard!”

— Dave Villager

14. “He put the balls into his backpack, in case they did have a use.”

— Dave Villager

15. “That’s right,” said Dave. “In fact, our friends are just about to spring an ambush on you. You’d best hand over that Staff.”

— Dave Villager

16. “Bye, Robo-Horse!” Alex shouted. “Good luck!” “Wait, you called your horse ‘Robo-Horse’?” said Carl. “But it wasn’t a robot.” “I named him after Robo-Steve,” said Alex sadly. Dave put an arm around Alex. “That was very nice, Alex,” Dave told her. “I’m sure Robo-Steve would have liked that.” “All right, that’s enough of that,” said Spidroth, giving Alex a suspicious look, “let’s get this over with.”

— Dave Villager

17. “Well, try harder,” said Spidroth. “Don’t look with your eyes; look with the Sight.” “Look with your butt,” said Carl. “That’s the key to being a mighty warrior – you must use the power of your butt to vanquish your foes.”

— Dave Villager

18. “Get off me, you idiot!” Carl shouted. “Calling a police officer an idiot is a very serious offense,” said the officer holding Carl. “How long do you reckon that would get you in prison, Liam?” “Er, I reckon about zero years, Chief,” said another officer. “I don’t think that’s actually a crime.” “Well, it should be,” said the officer holding Carl. “But stealing a priceless artifact definitely is a crime. You’re coming with us, little creeper.”

— Dave Villager

19. “Unless I attach some firework rockets to this horse, I don’t think it can go any faster,” said Dave. “Do you have any firework rockets?” asked Milo.”

— Dave Villager

20. “I’ve taken control of your suit, creeper,” said Marie. “Well, I’m going to take control of your face,” said Carl. “What does that even mean?” said Marie. “I’m not sure,” said Carl. “It sounded a lot cooler in my head.”

— Dave Villager

21. “As an English person, do you use words like “chaps” and “blaggards” in real life? I’m afraid not, old bean.”

— Dave Villager

22. “Next time: The Beginning of the End.”

— Dave Villager

23. “It’s my job to say cool catchphrases and bash bad guys.”

— Dave Villager

24. “Saggo keep wedding dress on,” said Saggo. “It took Saggo long time to get on. Wedding dress complicated. Saggo no have time to take off and get changed.” “It must be so cool and romantic getting married,” grinned Alex. “Is it cool and romantic, Saggo?” “It was cool and romantic,” said Saggo, “before Saggo’s husband-to-be turned into zombie. Husband-to-be turning into zombie isn’t very romantic.” “No,” said Alex. “I suppose it’s not.”

— Dave Villager

25. “Listen to me, horse,” said Spidroth. “I am the Lady Spidrothbrine, and I am your master now. Got it?”

— Dave Villager

26. “Milo, you weren’t one of the formidable warriors I was talking about,” said Creepo Jones. “But I do still need you to come along to hold my rucksack for me and cook my meals. Plus, if there are deadly traps and one of us needs to sacrifice our life, it should probably be you.” “It would be my honor, Master Creepo,” said Milo.”

— Dave Villager

27. “Conko like weddings,” said Conko happily. “Conko got cool dance moves, so Conko always get lots of kisses from girls.”

— Dave Villager

28. “If Dave can master his powers, he’ll be able to see attacks before they’re coming, and no one will be able to defeat him in battle.” “I dunno,” said Alex, “what if there was a ravager the size of the mountain, and it could shoot other ravagers out of its mouth, and those ravagers were on fire. Would Dave still be able to defeat that?”

— Dave Villager

29. “Who’re you?” Spidroth asked him. “What’s going on here, villager? I demand you tell me now, or I shall have out your tongue!”

— Dave Villager

30. “What’s your theme for my dimension?” ask Dave, his voice trembling. “I haven’t quite decided,” said the Glitch Queen. “It’s down to either ‘invasion of the clowns’ or ‘visit to the dentist’.” “You monster!” gasped Dave.”

— Dave Villager

31. “I’m always happy to help out people who were going to throw me into a pit full of lava.”

— Dave Villager

32. “Good morning,” said the Cleric. “Do you wish to ask for my forgiveness, Dave? Do you wish to declare that you are a true villager and that you worship Steve?” “I wish to declare that I think you’re an idiot,” said Carl.”

— Dave Villager

33. “Jimmy thought they were all losers, except for Emma. She was smart and, if he was being honest, kind of cute.”

— Dave Villager

34. “I never thought I’d say this, but I miss modern Spidroth,” said.”

— Dave Villager

35. “All right,” said Carl, rolling his eyes. “Alex came up with Cakerothbrine. She can summon cakes and is Herobrine’s long lost wife, who left him after he never helped to clean the house. She has triplet daughters who are all ninjas: Firerothbrine, who has the power of fire, Waterothbrine, who has the power of water, and Porkchoprothbrine, who has the power of porkchops.”

— Dave Villager

36. “How many horses have Dave’s friends left behind? Far too many. Dave should be banned from owning a horse.”

— Dave Villager

37. “Unfortunately, our potato crop failed over fifteen thousand years ago,” said the red-eyed enderman.”

— Dave Villager

38. “You are fortunate, villager,” said Spidroth. “Spiders are noble creatures.” “You’re only saying that because you were Queen of the Spiders,” said Carl. “If you were Queen of the Pigs, you’d be telling us how noble pigs are.”

— Dave Villager

39. “Well, if they catch us, it’s going to be perplexing how dead we are,” said Carl. “I do not believe that is a proper use of the word perplexing,” said P1G0.”

— Dave Villager

40. “Yes,” said Spidroth, raising an eyebrow and giving Alex a suspicious stare. “You certainly looked like you were having fun, Alex.”

— Dave Villager

41. “I am fine,” she snapped. “It will take more than a fall to defeat Spidrothbrine.”

— Dave Villager

42. “And I’m dead serious too,” said Detective McAlex. “Dead serious about the fantastic deals at Cake World! This weekend, Cake World has a fantastic offer: all cakes are half price. That’s right, half price!”

— Dave Villager

43. “Were you in the Great British Bake Off? because it’s British and there was a guy named Dave. Unfortunately not! There are a lot of Daves in the UK. Plus, my name isn’t actually Dave.”

— Dave Villager

44. “They began running through this room, Dave placing torches as they ran, and they passed mountains of treasure: huge piles of gold ingots, emeralds and diamonds and lots of strange artifacts and weapons. “My gosh,” gasped Milo, “I could spend a hundred years in here, cataloging all these treasures.” “You do that,” said Carl. “The rest of us will keep running from the husks.”

— Dave Villager

45. “I failed you, Master,” said Wex, crouching down on one knee in front of the throne. “But I will make it up to you, I promise.” “Nah, she’ll probably just fail you again, I reckon,” said Carl. “Just throw her into the lava pit.”

— Dave Villager

46. “Detective Carl McCarl put on his sunglasses. Um, Carl, wasn’t Detective Carl McCarl already wearing sunglasses? Well, he’s wearing two pairs now. Two pairs of sunglasses are extra cool.”

— Dave Villager

47. “Well, I guess there’s no arm in that,” said Porkins. And then he started laughing hysterically.”

— Dave Villager

48. “I am, my love.” “Okay, you’ve really got to lay off that ‘my love’ stuff,” said Carl. “It’s making me want to chuck up my lunch.”

— Dave Villager

49. “Throughout our journey, I’ve eaten loads of great potatoes. Some were slightly overcooked, and some were slightly too soft, but all of them were good in their own special way. It’s not always easy to cook a baked potato completely right, but when you do, it’s a thing of beauty. So, I’m thankful for every baked potato that I’ve eaten. Yes, I may have run out of baked potatoes at the moment, but I have hope that one day I’ll be back home, eating baked potatoes again. Thank you.”

— Dave Villager

50. “A few of them stopped to get Detective McCarl’s autograph, but then they keep kept running.”

— Dave Villager