Top 70 David D. Burns Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “You’re not a bad person. But you sometimes do bad things. You know what that makes you? Human.”

— David D. Burns

2. “Learn to accept your limits and you’ll become a happier person.”

— David D. Burns

3. “If you’re self-compassionate, you’ll tend to have higher self-esteem than if you’re endlessly self-critical. And like high self-esteem – self-compassion is associated with significantly less anxiety and depression, as well as more happiness, optimism, and positive emotions.”

— David D. Burns

4. “You feel the way you do right now because of the thoughts you are thinking at this moment.”

— David D. Burns

5. “You don’t have to do anything especially worthy to create or deserve self-esteem; all you have to do is turn off that critical, haranguing, inner voice.”

— David D. Burns

6. “A poor self-image is the magnifying glass that can transform a trivial mistake or an imperfection into an overwhelming symbol of personal defeat.”

— David D. Burns

7. “When two people respect each other, the ability to be vulnerable and to reveal hurt feelings can create a powerful emotional connection that is the source of real intimacy and friendship.”

— David D. Burns

8. “Assert your right to make a few mistakes. If people can’t accept your imperfections, that’s their fault.”

— David D. Burns

9. “Forgiving yourself, not guilt, increases personal accountability.”

— David D. Burns

10. “The best way to confront your fears it to stop avoiding the situation you’re most afraid of.”

— David D. Burns

11. “Forgive yourself and be ready to forgive yourself in the future. You’re gonna screw up. It’s okay.”

— David D. Burns

12. “Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person.”

— David D. Burns

13. “Regret has a purpose. It’s like the oil light on the dashboard of your life, telling you something needs to be fixed. So fix it. And feel better.”

— David D. Burns

14. “Can you predict the future with absolute certainty? Your answer must be no. You have two options: You can either decide to accept yourself as an imperfect human being with limited knowledge and realize that you will at times make mistakes, or you can hate yourself for it.”

— David D. Burns

15. “You must first consider that a human life is an ongoing process that involves a constantly changing physical body as well as an enormous number of rapidly changing thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Your life therefore is an evolving experience, a continual flow. You are not a thing; that’s why any label is constricting, highly inaccurate, and global.”

— David D. Burns

16. “You’re human. You’ll screw up. Denying that is crazy. Forgiving yourself has all the benefits of self-esteem without making you a narcissist that’s out of touch with reality.”

— David D. Burns

17. “When we’re rational about rule-breaking we set a limit. You don’t get 30 years in prison for a traffic ticket. But sometimes you sentence yourself to months or years of emotional pain over minor offenses.”

— David D. Burns

18. “Unfortunately, you’re wrong. Motivation does not come first, action does! You have to prime the pump. Then you will begin to get motivated, and the fluids will flow spontaneously.”

— David D. Burns

19. “Labeling yourself is not only self-defeating, it is irrational. Your self cannot be equated with any one thing you do. Your life is a complex and ever-changing flow of thoughts, emotions, and actions. To put it another way, you are more like a river than a statue. Stop trying to define yourself with negative labels – they.”

— David D. Burns

20. “Powerful new drug-free treatments have been developed for depression and for every conceivable type of anxiety, such as chronic worrying, shyness, public speaking anxiety, test anxiety, phobias, and panic attacks. The goal of the treatment is not just partial improvement but full recovery.”

— David D. Burns

21. “Your thoughts create your emotions; therefore, your emotions cannot prove that your thoughts are accurate.”

— David D. Burns

22. “Ultimately you, and only you, can make yourself consistently happy. No one else can.”

— David D. Burns

23. “Nearly two thousand years ago the Greek philosopher, Epictctus, stated that people are disturbed “not by things, but by the views we take of them.”

— David D. Burns

24. “Self-esteem can be defined as the state that exists when you are not arbitrarily haranguing and abusing yourself but choose to fight back against those automatic thoughts with meaningful rational responses.”

— David D. Burns

25. “Perfectionism becomes a badge of honor with you playing the part of the suffering hero.”

— David D. Burns

26. “Learning to accept failure on multiple levels is, to my way of thinking, the key to become a world-class therapist. But that means humility, and setting your ego aside, while you develop superb new technical skills.”

— David D. Burns

27. “Apologies do make a difference. Believe it or not, research shows people often prefer them over money.”

— David D. Burns

28. “Accept yourself. But realize your behaviors can be bad.”

— David D. Burns

29. “That’s one of the peculiar things about bad moods – we often fool ourselves and create misery by telling ourselves things that simply are not true.”

— David D. Burns

30. “Don’t apologize for what you think you did wrong. Apologize for what they think you did wrong.”

— David D. Burns

31. “Kindness is the cause of all anxiety.”

— David D. Burns

32. “Guilt doesn’t help. What should fill in for it? Remorse. Remorse is when you feel bad about what you did. Guilt is when you feel bad about who you are.”

— David D. Burns

33. “I suspect you will find that a great many of your negative feelings are in fact based on such thinking errors.”

— David D. Burns

34. “Every time you feel depressed about something, try to identify a corresponding negative thought you had just prior to and during the depression. Because these thoughts have actually created your bad mood, by learning to restructure them, you can change your mood.”

— David D. Burns

35. “Absolutes do not exist in this universe. If you try to force your experiences into absolute categories, you will be constantly depressed because your perceptions will not conform to reality. You will set yourself up for discrediting yourself endlessly because whatever you do will never measure up to your exaggerated expectations. The technical name for this type of perceptual error is “dichotomous thinking.” You see everything as black or white – shades of gray do not exist.”

— David D. Burns

36. “Reaching for the stars, perfectionists may end up clutching at air.”

— David D. Burns

37. “Negative thinking patterns can be immensely deceptive and persuasive, and change is rarely easy. But with patience and persistence, I believe that nearly all individuals suffering from depression can improve and experience a sense of joy and self-esteem once again.”

— David D. Burns

38. “Reaching for the stars, perfectionists may end up clutching air. They suffer from mood disorders, troubled relationships, and stress. They may even achieve less than others.”

— David D. Burns

39. “Depression has been called the worlds number one public health problem. In fact, depression is so widespread it is considered the common cold of psychiatric disturbances. But there is a grim difference between depression and a cold. Depression can kill you.”

— David D. Burns

40. “But these abnormal emotions feel just as valid and realistic as the genuine feelings created by undistorted thoughts, so you automatically attribute truth to them. This is why depression is such a powerful form of mental black magic.”

— David D. Burns

41. “What sentence will you choose to impose on yourself? Are you willing to stop suffering and making yourself miserable when your sentence has expired? This would at least be a responsible way to punish yourself because it would be time-limited.”

— David D. Burns

42. “People who are prone to anxiety are nearly always people-pleasers who fear conflict and negative feelings like anger. When you feel upset, you sweep.”

— David D. Burns

43. “It is okay to be flawed and defective, or even wonderful.”

— David D. Burns

44. “Achievements can bring you satisfaction but not happiness.”

— David D. Burns

45. “In addition, we still do not really know how the brain creates emotions. We do not know why some people are more prone to negative thinking and gloomy moods throughout their lives, whereas others seem to be eternal optimists who always have a positive outlook and a cheerful disposition.”

— David D. Burns

46. “It can be helpful simply to make a written or mental list of the things you do each day. Then give yourself a mental credit for each of them, however small. This will help you focus on what you have done instead of what you haven’t gotten around to do. It may sound simplistic, but it works.”

— David D. Burns

47. “Guilt is not the best way to remedy your mistakes.”

— David D. Burns

48. “People who are prone to guilt tend to work harder and perform better than people who are not guilt-prone, and are perceived to be more capable leaders.”

— David D. Burns

49. “Because of your twisted thinking, you see yourself in a trap from which there seems to be no escape. You jump to the conclusion that your problems are insoluble. Because your suffering feels unbearable and appears unending, you may erroneously conclude that suicide is your only way of escape.”

— David D. Burns

50. “Guilt serves a powerful social function in terms of policing our behavior.”

— David D. Burns