Top 70 David Lee Roth Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive.”

— David Lee Roth

2. “Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.”

— David Lee Roth

3. “The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!”

— David Lee Roth

4. “I can teach you to jump up in five seconds-it takes years to learn how to land properly.”

— David Lee Roth

5. “I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.”

— David Lee Roth

6. “I’m not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.”

— David Lee Roth

7. “When you can spell subpoena without thinking about it, that’s when you know you’ve made it.”

— David Lee Roth

8. “You’ve got to roll with the punches to get to what’s real.”

— David Lee Roth

9. “An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.”

— David Lee Roth

10. “I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don’t need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle.”

— David Lee Roth

11. “If you want to split a bottle with a friend, then Sammy Hagar is your guy. If you want to split your friend with a bottle than give me a call.”

— David Lee Roth

12. “I don’t feel tardy.”

— David Lee Roth

13. “People ask me how far I’ve come. And I tell them twelve feet: from the audience to the stage.”

— David Lee Roth

14. “This must be just like livin’ in paradise.”

— David Lee Roth

15. “The only people who put iced tea in Jack Daniel’s bottles is the Clash baby!!”

— David Lee Roth

16. “The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an oncoming train.”

— David Lee Roth

17. “If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will melt all the rest of your records.”

— David Lee Roth

18. “He who knows how will always work for he who knows why.”

— David Lee Roth

19. “It’s always irritated me that people say, ‘Where’s the action? Oh wow, there’s no action here; let’s go somewhere else.’ These people will never find the action.”

— David Lee Roth

20. “Music is like girlfriends to me; I’m continually astonished by the choices other people make.”

— David Lee Roth

21. “I’ve always been very self-motivated.”

— David Lee Roth

22. “Nobody’s going to get a hot dog at my concert!”

— David Lee Roth

23. “We’ve all got out self-destructive bad habits, the trick is to find four or five you personally like the best and just do those all the time.”

— David Lee Roth

24. “People say that life is a cesspool of darkness and dispair. Well we of Van Halen are sailing through it in a yacht!”

— David Lee Roth

25. “It’s not who wants to sleep with you; It’s who wants to sleep with you again.”

— David Lee Roth

26. “Stick your head above the crowd and eventually somebody will throw a rock at it.”

— David Lee Roth

27. “A song without a hook is like a train without rails. It skitters all over the place, bangs into everything. Boom! Crash! There goes Grand Central Station. Crushed by a train.”

— David Lee Roth

28. “The problem with self-improvement is knowing when to quit.”

— David Lee Roth

29. “I think the two most difficult things to deal with in life are failure and success.”

— David Lee Roth

30. “Van Halen can keep providing the rain and I’ll keep providing the parade.”

— David Lee Roth

31. “Audience participation should extend from on-stage to backstage to under the stage.”

— David Lee Roth

32. “The most important part of any rock song is the guitar solo.”

— David Lee Roth

33. “I always wanted to be an outrage to public decency and a threat to women. And this is one of the few occupations where you’re not only allowed that, but you’re encouraged.”

— David Lee Roth

34. “Rap is poetry to music, like beatniks without beards and bongos.”

— David Lee Roth

35. “There are only so many letters in the alphabet. When I talk to young musicians or authors and they ask for advice, I say, You gotta learn all the letters of your own personal alphabet. With music, you need to know all the different kinds of music and everything in and around your given instrument.”

— David Lee Roth

36. “If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn’t have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?”

— David Lee Roth

37. “I live and breathe and do four times as much four times as fast as anyone else.”

— David Lee Roth

38. “Music journalists love Elvis Costello and hate me because they look like Elvis Costello.”

— David Lee Roth

39. “You stick your head above the crowd and attract attention and sometimes somebody will throw a rock at you. That’s the territory. You buy the land, you get the Indians.”

— David Lee Roth

40. “I’m gonna abandon my spirit to them, which is actually what I attempt to do. You work yourself up into that state and you fall in supplication of the demon gods.”

— David Lee Roth

41. “I’m a family oriented guy; I’ve personally started four or five this year.”

— David Lee Roth

42. “The Breakfast of Champions isn’t cereal, it’s the competition!”

— David Lee Roth

43. “They make this drink in Brazil Called cachaca. It’s sugar can alcholho. Costs 35 cents a quart. One quart of that stuff and you see God. Two quarts and you graow a pair of tight pants and an electric guitar.”

— David Lee Roth

44. “I used to have a drug problem, now I make enough money.”

— David Lee Roth

45. “You gotta learn the alphabet, backwards and forwards. And then the choice is yours, ’cause last I looked, the Bible is written in the same words, the exact same alphabet, as my favorite pornography. Choice is yours.”

— David Lee Roth

46. “Women are great. When they dig you, there’s nothing they won’t do. That kind of loyalty is hard to find – unless you’ve got a good dog.”

— David Lee Roth

47. “Ya know, I always admired Ray Kroc, the man who invented McDonald’s. Ray had a vision of the most commonplace thing – a hamburger and fries to go – but to him it was just the greatest thing ever, and he was going to make it the greatest thing ever for everybody else, and he did.”

— David Lee Roth

48. “On parties it’s not about who you are. The real reason to which a party revolves is how good you look.”

— David Lee Roth

49. “Many of the critics have kids of their own. It scares the hell out of them to think that their kids could be anything remotely like David Lee Roth.”

— David Lee Roth

50. “Whether I’m on for a day or whether I’m on for a year, at the end of the day, I sing for my dinner.”

— David Lee Roth