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Top 20 David Thorne Quotes (2025 Update)

David Thorne Quote: “Opinions are like nipples, everybody has one. Some have firm points, others are barely discernible through layers, and some are displayed at every opportunity regardless of whether the audience has stated “I am interested in your nipples” or not.”

1. “Opinions are like nipples, everybody has one. Some have firm points, others are barely discernible through layers, and some are displayed at every opportunity regardless of whether the audience has stated “I am interested in your nipples” or not.”

— David Thorne

David Thorne Quote: “Without a concise set of rules to follow we would probably all have to resort to common sense.”

2. “Without a concise set of rules to follow we would probably all have to resort to common sense.”

— David Thorne

David Thorne Quote: “If you had managed to persuade my mother not to procreate, I would not exist to send you the plans for constructing your own time machine in which to travel back in time to persuade my mother not to procreate. Apparently, this is known as a pair of ducks.”

3. “If you had managed to persuade my mother not to procreate, I would not exist to send you the plans for constructing your own time machine in which to travel back in time to persuade my mother not to procreate. Apparently, this is known as a pair of ducks.”

— David Thorne

David Thorne Quote: “Copywriting basically consists of taking something dreadful, putting it in a box with a shiny ribbon, and presenting it to someone. Any disappointment the recipient has upon opening the box is entirely due to their own high expectations and therefore their fault.”

4. “Copywriting basically consists of taking something dreadful, putting it in a box with a shiny ribbon, and presenting it to someone. Any disappointment the recipient has upon opening the box is entirely due to their own high expectations and therefore their fault.”

— David Thorne

David Thorne Quote: “When you find yourself in a idiotic situation though, the temptation to test how far the idiocy will stretch can be overwhelming.”

5. “When you find yourself in a idiotic situation though, the temptation to test how far the idiocy will stretch can be overwhelming.”

— David Thorne

David Thorne Quote: “I was taught never to make a threat unless you are prepared to carry it out, and I am not a fan of carrying anything. Even watching other people carrying things makes me uncomfortable. Mainly because of the possibility they may ask me to help.”

6. “I was taught never to make a threat unless you are prepared to carry it out, and I am not a fan of carrying anything. Even watching other people carrying things makes me uncomfortable. Mainly because of the possibility they may ask me to help.”

— David Thorne

David Thorne Quote: “You can’t trust girls. When I get a girlfriend I am not going to tell her where I live or work.”

7. “You can’t trust girls. When I get a girlfriend I am not going to tell her where I live or work.”

— David Thorne

David Thorne Quote: “I’m not a huge fan of poetry. I’ll accept the argument that it’s an art form – being an expression of the imagination – but by that broad definition, so are Etch-A-Sketch drawings and Magic Aqua Sand sculptures. I don’t think anyone really likes poetry, apart from the ones writing it, and they only really like their own.”

8. “I’m not a huge fan of poetry. I’ll accept the argument that it’s an art form – being an expression of the imagination – but by that broad definition, so are Etch-A-Sketch drawings and Magic Aqua Sand sculptures. I don’t think anyone really likes poetry, apart from the ones writing it, and they only really like their own.”

— David Thorne

David Thorne Quote: “I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism.”

9. “I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism.”

— David Thorne

David Thorne Quote: “I do not own any camping gear, but this is not a problem, as I have watched every season of Survivor.”

10. “I do not own any camping gear, but this is not a problem, as I have watched every season of Survivor.”

— David Thorne

David Thorne Quote: “How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to e-mail you the remaining eighty-six photos of my dog dressed as a bear?”

11. “How about you agree to waive the fine and I promise not to e-mail you the remaining eighty-six photos of my dog dressed as a bear?”

— David Thorne

David Thorne Quote: “Holly, there’s a raccoon on the back deck.” “Really? What’s it doing?” “Eating tika masala and naan.”

12. “Holly, there’s a raccoon on the back deck.” “Really? What’s it doing?” “Eating tika masala and naan.”

— David Thorne

David Thorne Quote: “It is not necessary to attempt a resolution when it is self-resolving.”

13. “It is not necessary to attempt a resolution when it is self-resolving.”

— David Thorne

David Thorne Quote: “Should check the Internet and make sure everything on there is correct.”

14. “Should check the Internet and make sure everything on there is correct.”

— David Thorne

David Thorne Quote: “If people were meant to talk about feelings, they’d be called talkings.”

15. “If people were meant to talk about feelings, they’d be called talkings.”

— David Thorne

David Thorne Quote: “Oh no, the box is full of spiders!” “And? Your disappointment is entirely due to your own high expectations.” “You told me it was a puppy.”

16. “Oh no, the box is full of spiders!” “And? Your disappointment is entirely due to your own high expectations.” “You told me it was a puppy.”

— David Thorne

David Thorne Quote: “Besides, if I didn’t hate people, we wouldn’t have anything in common.” “Are you saying the only reason we’re together is because we hate everyone else?” “Yes.”

17. “Besides, if I didn’t hate people, we wouldn’t have anything in common.” “Are you saying the only reason we’re together is because we hate everyone else?” “Yes.”

— David Thorne

David Thorne Quote: “Decent bridges don’t burn easily. It’s the rickety ones that go up like tinder.”

18. “Decent bridges don’t burn easily. It’s the rickety ones that go up like tinder.”

— David Thorne

David Thorne Quote: “Despite your assumption, I have the highest amount of respect for authority. I actually wanted to become a police officer but failed the IQ test when I arrived on time at the correct building.”

19. “Despite your assumption, I have the highest amount of respect for authority. I actually wanted to become a police officer but failed the IQ test when I arrived on time at the correct building.”

— David Thorne

David Thorne Quote: “I understand Mike is sad about replacing Jennifer, but we all have to do things that make us sad. Holly asks me to do things that make me sad all the time. Like taking the dogs for a walk or giving her a foot rub. Do I complain about it? Sure, but do I do it anyway? No, but I pay my taxes.”

20. “I understand Mike is sad about replacing Jennifer, but we all have to do things that make us sad. Holly asks me to do things that make me sad all the time. Like taking the dogs for a walk or giving her a foot rub. Do I complain about it? Sure, but do I do it anyway? No, but I pay my taxes.”

— David Thorne

David Thorne Quote: “Also, I am not sure what you are teaching in your classroom, but Seb came home the other week talking about a healthy eating pyramid. I had to explain to him that pyramids are made of stone and therefore not edible, so I would appreciate your not filling his head with these fanciful notions.”

21. “Also, I am not sure what you are teaching in your classroom, but Seb came home the other week talking about a healthy eating pyramid. I had to explain to him that pyramids are made of stone and therefore not edible, so I would appreciate your not filling his head with these fanciful notions.”

— David Thorne

David Thorne Quote: “Did Mrs Gillespie get stung by a bee?” I asked.”

22. “Did Mrs Gillespie get stung by a bee?” I asked.”

— David Thorne

David Thorne Quote: “He’d thrown the screwdriver after discovering I’d removed all the screws from his office chair but, really, who gets back from lunch to discover a screwdriver and 46 screws on their desk and still sits down?”

23. “He’d thrown the screwdriver after discovering I’d removed all the screws from his office chair but, really, who gets back from lunch to discover a screwdriver and 46 screws on their desk and still sits down?”

— David Thorne

David Thorne Quote: “Or maybe it’s an unavoidable part of getting older; everything just gets blurrier until you die.”

24. “Or maybe it’s an unavoidable part of getting older; everything just gets blurrier until you die.”

— David Thorne

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