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Top 15 Denis Norden Quotes (2025 Update)

Denis Norden Quote: “It’s a funny kind of month, October. For the really keen cricket fan it’s when you discover that your wife left you in May.”
Denis Norden Quote: “What is a harp but an oversized cheese slicer with cultural pretensions?”
Denis Norden Quote: “You know you’re getting old when a four-letter word for something pleasurable two people can do in bed together is R-E-A-D.”
Denis Norden Quote: “A counter tenor is anyone who can count to ten.”
Denis Norden Quote: “The comedians all finished their acts with a song. They would get a certain amount of money from the song publishers and would use that money to pay the writers. None of them paid very much for their comedy material, but it all added up.”
Denis Norden Quote: “Middle age is when, whenever you go on holiday, you pack a sweater.”
Denis Norden Quote: “It’s like your children talking about holidays, you find they have a quite different memory of it from you. Perhaps everything is not how it is, but how it’s remembered.”
Denis Norden Quote: “If all the world is a stage, and all the men and women merely players, where do all the audiences come from?”
Denis Norden Quote: “If the laughter of the audience was malicious we wouldn’t show it.”
Denis Norden Quote: “Then after that came word processors and it’s hard to make those laugh.”
Denis Norden Quote: “There’s an unseen force which lets birds know when you’ve just washed your car.”
Denis Norden Quote: “I used to like writing for comedians – I enjoyed the challenge of making other people funny.”
Denis Norden Quote: “And when you’re on your own there is that terrifying possibility that you may be the only person on the planet who thinks it’s funny – and you have no way of finding out.”
Denis Norden Quote: “I defy anyone to get a decision that quickly these days.”
Denis Norden Quote: “Dictum on television scripts: We don’t want it good – we want it Tuesday.”
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