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Top 70 Drew Carey Quotes (2025 Update)
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Drew Carey Quote: “The Marines was a fresh start – that is why they shave your head. I wish they would let you change your name.”

51. “The Marines was a fresh start – that is why they shave your head. I wish they would let you change your name.”

Drew Carey Quote: “I always thought I was going to die before I was 60.”

52. “I always thought I was going to die before I was 60.”

Drew Carey Quote: “I loved the old stories in National Lampoon, like the original story the movie Vacation was based on. I used to laugh at them until I cried.”

53. “I loved the old stories in National Lampoon, like the original story the movie Vacation was based on. I used to laugh at them until I cried.”

Drew Carey Quote: “I don’t miss the economic insecurity, the living paycheck to paycheck.”

54. “I don’t miss the economic insecurity, the living paycheck to paycheck.”

Drew Carey Quote: “Yeah, apparently chasing a bus uses different muscles than sitting and eating.”

55. “Yeah, apparently chasing a bus uses different muscles than sitting and eating.”

Drew Carey Quote: “I learned how to believe in myself. Learned how to set goals, you know, self help books man. I just read every single one I can get a hold of, and I still do.”

56. “I learned how to believe in myself. Learned how to set goals, you know, self help books man. I just read every single one I can get a hold of, and I still do.”

Drew Carey Quote: “When asked if he enjoys being famous: Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don’t. I’ve always been a people watcher. I like to go to malls and just sit, and I can’t do that very easily anymore.”

57. “When asked if he enjoys being famous: Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don’t. I’ve always been a people watcher. I like to go to malls and just sit, and I can’t do that very easily anymore.”

Drew Carey Quote: “If you’re wearing a Bluetooth thing and you’ve got that thing on your belt, you are working for somebody else. You are not the guy in charge. That’s a really good social status indicator.”

58. “If you’re wearing a Bluetooth thing and you’ve got that thing on your belt, you are working for somebody else. You are not the guy in charge. That’s a really good social status indicator.”

Drew Carey Quote: “I think that if anyone bothered to take a survey, they would find a sharp decline in atheism during the winters in Cleveland, Ohio.”

59. “I think that if anyone bothered to take a survey, they would find a sharp decline in atheism during the winters in Cleveland, Ohio.”

Drew Carey Quote: “Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with.”

60. “Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with.”

Drew Carey Quote: “If I wasn’t a comic or TV star, I really wanted to be a photojournalist.”

61. “If I wasn’t a comic or TV star, I really wanted to be a photojournalist.”

Drew Carey Quote: “The less government, the better.”

62. “The less government, the better.”

Drew Carey Quote: “There’s a game called Checkout where there’s grocery items and it’s how much you think the manufacturer’s suggested retail price is and we add up your total, then your total has to be within $2 of the regular total. I don’t think I could ever win that game.”

63. “There’s a game called Checkout where there’s grocery items and it’s how much you think the manufacturer’s suggested retail price is and we add up your total, then your total has to be within $2 of the regular total. I don’t think I could ever win that game.”

Drew Carey Quote: “I’ve always got stuff in my head in case I meet somebody like Steven Spielberg or someone like that, where I can hopefully say something to them that nobody else has ever said and get a laugh out of them.”

64. “I’ve always got stuff in my head in case I meet somebody like Steven Spielberg or someone like that, where I can hopefully say something to them that nobody else has ever said and get a laugh out of them.”

Drew Carey Quote: “I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian.”

65. “I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian.”

Drew Carey Quote: “I actually was worried about the pounding, but I actually love running more than working out on the elliptical. Now if I get on the elliptical, I feel like I’m trapped.”

66. “I actually was worried about the pounding, but I actually love running more than working out on the elliptical. Now if I get on the elliptical, I feel like I’m trapped.”

Drew Carey Quote: “I don’t do one show and wish I was doing something else.”

67. “I don’t do one show and wish I was doing something else.”

Drew Carey Quote: “On other shows when they get to the end of the scene, they yell ‘Cut!’ On Whose Line, we yell ‘That’s Enough!’”

68. “On other shows when they get to the end of the scene, they yell ‘Cut!’ On Whose Line, we yell ‘That’s Enough!’”

Drew Carey Quote: “I’m competitive at everything.”

69. “I’m competitive at everything.”

Drew Carey Quote: “The economy is in trouble, schools are in trouble, and people have been leaving the city in droves for a long, long time.”

70. “The economy is in trouble, schools are in trouble, and people have been leaving the city in droves for a long, long time.”

Drew Carey Quote: “Nothing’s funny about someone who’s successful.”

71. “Nothing’s funny about someone who’s successful.”

Drew Carey Quote: “I’m the kind of person that likes what I’m doing when I’m doing it.”

72. “I’m the kind of person that likes what I’m doing when I’m doing it.”

Drew Carey Quote: “I’d buy joke books and try doing them at school; I always had jokes. That would be my go-to thing at parties: I’d be able to get through them if I just told enough jokes. Otherwise, I wouldn’t end up talking to anybody.”

73. “I’d buy joke books and try doing them at school; I always had jokes. That would be my go-to thing at parties: I’d be able to get through them if I just told enough jokes. Otherwise, I wouldn’t end up talking to anybody.”

Drew Carey Quote: “I just try to get people to laugh – I’m not trying to change the world or anything.”

74. “I just try to get people to laugh – I’m not trying to change the world or anything.”

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