Top 60 Drew Hayes Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “Fine, I’m going to beat you like a toddler in a wolverine fight.” “You will feel more distress than if you were trapped on an airplane during its landing approach and suddenly suffered an unstoppable bowel movement.” “Explain,” Angela demanded. “During a landing approach, one is not allowed to leave their seat for any reason. Not even sudden bowel movements that won’t be stopped.” Angela had to admit, that scenario probably would fill her with a noticeable amount of distress.”

— Drew Hayes

2. “What is experience if not the accumulation of scars and lessons that allow us to use our mind, bodies, and powers more effectively?”

— Drew Hayes

3. “The constant threat of death was such a persistent companion, it almost felt like they should get it a horse.”

— Drew Hayes

4. “A superhero defends what is just; a villain defends what is theirs.”

— Drew Hayes

5. “Is this a good slow clap moment? Because it kind of feels like a good slow clap moment.”

— Drew Hayes

6. “Any divine guidance before I go back?” “Always tip the bartender more than you think you should, be nice to the people who know where you sleep, and beware the bush with red flowers.” Grumble.”

— Drew Hayes

7. “New plan. It’s exactly the same as the old plan, except we try very hard not to die.”

— Drew Hayes

8. “Try not to let them scare you too much. But, don’t forget, that they are scary people.”

— Drew Hayes

9. “Glitter is a form of anti-depressant, because it is impossible to be sad when you twinkle.”

— Drew Hayes

10. “You know, you’re a pretty terrible person.” “You’re not the first to accuse me of such.” “I didn’t imagine I would be. Still, in spite of that, or maybe because of it, you’re also a really good friend.”

— Drew Hayes

11. “To put it as simply as possible, I ate a god.”

— Drew Hayes

12. “The reason I told you this was pointless is because it is,” Vince said, staring down at Michael as his defense slid away in jagged, icy chunks. “You can’t freeze me. You can’t hit me. You can’t even defend against me. You’re so far below me that beating you isn’t even a challenge. You’re nothing to me, Michael.”

— Drew Hayes

13. “To lead a kingdom doesn’t mean we are more important than our subjects, it means our lives belong to them. They trust us to care for them, watch over them, and keep them safe from would-be conquerors. No matter how much I might want to be human, right now my people need me to be a monster, because a monster is what can stand against someone like you.”

— Drew Hayes

14. “See, I told you we’d get lucky.” Nick gloated as he munched on a thick hamburger. “We didn’t get lucky,” Vince corrected. “We got lost. For half an hour. Until I went into a building and asked for directions.” “And wasn’t it lucky I brought along a guy with no masculinity issues to ask for directions?” Nick pointed out.”

— Drew Hayes

15. “Our minds and memories cannot be trusted; spend too long in there trying to pull out a memory that doesn’t exist, and you’ll end up creating it. Imagination is a powerful thing, especially when combined with uncertainty and self-doubt. I’ve seen others build their own hells around them with the fears of what they might have done.”

— Drew Hayes

16. “Vampire strength might not let me lift cars, but I will tear up some shrubbery all day long.”

— Drew Hayes

17. “I don’t know that I believe in beauty sleep, but if you don’t leave me be, you’re going to see some ugly-awake.”

— Drew Hayes

18. “This book is dedicated to the uncool, uncoordinated, unexceptional, uncharming, uninteresting, and especially the unashamed. To everyone from the Awkwards to the Zeroes, living as the proud oddballs they are. This book is dedicated to my people.”

— Drew Hayes

19. “Are you telling me that vampires and werewolves are the reason America won the Revolutionary War?,” I asked, dumbfounded.”

— Drew Hayes

20. “Most college students would have deemed it a waste of a perfectly good Friday night, but most students were not in a program with constant stress and regular physical battles, with the possible exception of architecture majors.”

— Drew Hayes

21. “If that was some sort of death threat, it may very well be the third most lovely one I’ve ever received.”

— Drew Hayes

22. “You’re a good man who happens to be a vampire. We aren’t human, but that doesn’t make us monsters.”

— Drew Hayes

23. “Friday has always been the blessed child of Time. It’s admired, looked forward to, and savored with each occurrence.”

— Drew Hayes

24. “My unlife was so boring that even the woman who hunted monsters saw me as harmless.”

— Drew Hayes

25. “Those who lived in the light could never truly know what it was to dwell in the shadows.”

— Drew Hayes

26. “You know, people give things like greed and wrath a bad rap. Sure, they’ll cause plenty of folks to make some poor, shortsighted decisions, but in the end they lack staying power. Now love, on the other hand, love is in a whole different category. Love is what can truly turn people into demons.”

— Drew Hayes

27. “I’m working on the future, instead of being caught up in where I am today. – Roy Daniels.”

— Drew Hayes

28. “I don’t know if Mr. Greene is ever actually happy. Hopefully he’ll be ambivalent. I think that’s his version of happy.”

— Drew Hayes

29. “Still, I find lying to be more dangerous than expertly telling the truth, so I avoid it whenever possible.”

— Drew Hayes

30. “The next time he spoke it was with fury, hope, and desperation all rolled together like a burrito of command.”

— Drew Hayes

31. “The training area was set up where the tournament would actually be held, since putting together two structures to serve the same purpose would be at the level of idiotic redundancy reserved for the highest halls of government.”

— Drew Hayes

32. “He kept expecting the techno-armored girl to move as he drew close, but she remained as lifeless as a politician’s conscience.”

— Drew Hayes

33. “Are you telling me that vampires and werewolves are the reason America won the Revolutionary War?” I asked, dumbfounded. “No, I’m saying America somehow managed to pull it out thanks to the French,” Krystal scoffed. There was a beat of silence, then Albert said: “You know, when you think about it, her version makes a lot more sense.”

— Drew Hayes

34. “Instinct was well and good in the right situations, but I refused to let it dictate how I treated or reacted to the people around me. What they were was not the same as who they were, and I knew that better than anyone.”

— Drew Hayes

35. “The truth had its place, and it was called a deathbed.”

— Drew Hayes

36. “Sooner or later, they’ll realize that having one spider in the house kills a lot of the lesser insects.”

— Drew Hayes

37. “I am still a god, after all. There’s a certain way these things are done.”

— Drew Hayes

38. “Undead or alive, human or parahuman, everyone is capable of taking steps forward. Ours might have been moving at a lurching, unwieldy pace, but we were taking them all the same. It was irrelevant if we might have been a bit slower than more socially adjusted people. We were taking our steps together, and that was all that really mattered.”

— Drew Hayes

39. “Sometimes, attaining the impossible was simply a matter of continuously putting one foot in front of the other, no matter what.”

— Drew Hayes

40. “Alice arched an eyebrow. “The gravity guy? I can see why the apple took a swing at him.”

— Drew Hayes

41. “Ms. Pips thinks it’s good to have someone always trying to kill me. Says it builds caution and forethought.”

— Drew Hayes

42. “Death was a one-shot deal – it happened, and then you were free. Sally was an old-school southern woman, and Hank knew first-hand that they weren’t nearly as kind as death when they got cross.”

— Drew Hayes

43. “It certainly wasn’t a tale as old as time, but it was at least as old as capitalism.”

— Drew Hayes

44. “Remember when being a villain was all about wild nights and brawls in the street?”

— Drew Hayes

45. “It’s kind of creepy how logical you are. Sure you aren’t part Vulcan?”

— Drew Hayes

46. “I got into magic because I got into alchemy. Which I got into because I was into chemistry, which I was learning about because I wanted to get better with botany, which I had taken up studying in an effort to grow some killer weed.”

— Drew Hayes

47. “There may come times that you will regret not just dying when you had a chance.”

— Drew Hayes

48. “That would depend greatly on your definition of a solution. Technically, the entire town being laid siege to and everyone we know being killed qualifies as a solution. It just isn’t a solution that we find favorable,” Thistle pointed out.”

— Drew Hayes

49. “He was like a pot of simmering silver: simple and serene to look at, but with a scalding danger waiting beneath the surface.”

— Drew Hayes

50. “Oh sure, everyone else charges monsters and it’s brave, I do it once and I’m a madman.”

— Drew Hayes