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Top 30 Eliza Crewe Quotes (2025 Update)

Eliza Crewe Quote: “My morality is almost a contortionist.”

1. “My morality is almost a contortionist.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “You don’t have to be a doormat to be good. Even good people are allowed self-defense.”

2. “You don’t have to be a doormat to be good. Even good people are allowed self-defense.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “Ah well, no rest for the wicked and all that. I’ll just have to kill him myself.”

3. “Ah well, no rest for the wicked and all that. I’ll just have to kill him myself.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “What do you say to your best friend when you stand at the gates of the gates of hell? Nothing. If it’s your best friend, she already knows.”

4. “What do you say to your best friend when you stand at the gates of the gates of hell? Nothing. If it’s your best friend, she already knows.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “Don’t confuse your desperate need to know everything with a regular human’s mere curiosity.”

5. “Don’t confuse your desperate need to know everything with a regular human’s mere curiosity.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “They claim revenge is a dish best served cold, but I’ve found it to be equally delicious hot – not unlike fried chicken.”

6. “They claim revenge is a dish best served cold, but I’ve found it to be equally delicious hot – not unlike fried chicken.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “While I’m all delighted joy, she’s angry revenge, which is pretty adorable on a six year-old, even a dead one – like a wet kitten.”

7. “While I’m all delighted joy, she’s angry revenge, which is pretty adorable on a six year-old, even a dead one – like a wet kitten.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “I hear Jo in my head trying to douse the fire in my heart. “Be good, Meda.” Good, good, good, good, good. The word plays in a loop until it means nothing. I’ve been good and they refuse to feed me. I’ve been good and they won’t train me. I’ve been good and they changed the locks. I’ve been good and they want to send me away.”

8. “I hear Jo in my head trying to douse the fire in my heart. “Be good, Meda.” Good, good, good, good, good. The word plays in a loop until it means nothing. I’ve been good and they refuse to feed me. I’ve been good and they won’t train me. I’ve been good and they changed the locks. I’ve been good and they want to send me away.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “Your death, strange human. I mean, your injury. No murder, just a little maiming. So I can leave. Maiming’s not so bad.”

9. “Your death, strange human. I mean, your injury. No murder, just a little maiming. So I can leave. Maiming’s not so bad.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “I’m pretty durable, but concrete and I have faced off before. While I didn’t die, I wouldn’t say I won, either.”

10. “I’m pretty durable, but concrete and I have faced off before. While I didn’t die, I wouldn’t say I won, either.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “They studied the phenomenon at Harvard.” “They studied soul-stealing at Harvard?” “What else do you think they do in business school? In any case, it’s called the Ikea effect.” “As in furniture?”

11. “They studied the phenomenon at Harvard.” “They studied soul-stealing at Harvard?” “What else do you think they do in business school? In any case, it’s called the Ikea effect.” “As in furniture?”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “He moves and my eyes snap open, freezing him in place. “You’re right. I am like you.” I breathe, then shake my head very slowly, holding his eyes. “But that doesn’t help you any.”

12. “He moves and my eyes snap open, freezing him in place. “You’re right. I am like you.” I breathe, then shake my head very slowly, holding his eyes. “But that doesn’t help you any.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “There’s this guy I came across, not far from here. I thought we could, you know,” he makes a short slashing motion across his neck. “He seems like the kinda guy you’d go for. In a homicidal way, I mean.” “You arranged a murder?” Awww, that’s so sweet.”

13. “There’s this guy I came across, not far from here. I thought we could, you know,” he makes a short slashing motion across his neck. “He seems like the kinda guy you’d go for. In a homicidal way, I mean.” “You arranged a murder?” Awww, that’s so sweet.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “Naivety is cured with time. Stupidity is terminal.”

14. “Naivety is cured with time. Stupidity is terminal.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “Those of us who live with twisted bits like to think we can overcome them.”

15. “Those of us who live with twisted bits like to think we can overcome them.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “I suppose it should bother me to be so hated but, without it, I wouldn’t have the delight of torturing them with my presence. What can I say? My cheerful spirit can’t help but spot silver linings.”

16. “I suppose it should bother me to be so hated but, without it, I wouldn’t have the delight of torturing them with my presence. What can I say? My cheerful spirit can’t help but spot silver linings.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “Turns out I’m only ‘mom-special’. Special like a snowflake is special. Special like a school kid on honor roll.”

17. “Turns out I’m only ‘mom-special’. Special like a snowflake is special. Special like a school kid on honor roll.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “And since when does Hell have royalty? I thought they were all bureaucrats.” “Oh, sweetie,” he says, patronizing. “That’s cute.” “What’s cute?” “That you think celebrity children of powerful people aren’t royalty.” “Are you accusing me of being a Hilton?” I sputter. “Or a, a–” my head might explode, “Kardashian?” “The Hellish equivalent.”

18. “And since when does Hell have royalty? I thought they were all bureaucrats.” “Oh, sweetie,” he says, patronizing. “That’s cute.” “What’s cute?” “That you think celebrity children of powerful people aren’t royalty.” “Are you accusing me of being a Hilton?” I sputter. “Or a, a–” my head might explode, “Kardashian?” “The Hellish equivalent.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “I nod and wave to my enemies like Miss America, pausing to blow kisses at the worst of them as I work my way across the cafeteria with a plate loaded with horridly healthy food.”

19. “I nod and wave to my enemies like Miss America, pausing to blow kisses at the worst of them as I work my way across the cafeteria with a plate loaded with horridly healthy food.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “A human teenager. One of God’s most misbegotten creatures – big like grown-ups and yet dumb like children.”

20. “A human teenager. One of God’s most misbegotten creatures – big like grown-ups and yet dumb like children.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “And, like Christmas, Armand has brought gifts. But he is no fat, sweet Santa Claus who rewards the nice; he is the Lord of Misrule, the Abbot of Unreason in charge of scandalous fun.”

21. “And, like Christmas, Armand has brought gifts. But he is no fat, sweet Santa Claus who rewards the nice; he is the Lord of Misrule, the Abbot of Unreason in charge of scandalous fun.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “But worries are for people who can’t pull grown men apart with their bare hands.”

22. “But worries are for people who can’t pull grown men apart with their bare hands.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “Jo turns towards me. Her voice is calm but now I see her eyes blaze in a holy hazel fire. She doesn’t want to die, but she will, for what she believes in. I need new friends.”

23. “Jo turns towards me. Her voice is calm but now I see her eyes blaze in a holy hazel fire. She doesn’t want to die, but she will, for what she believes in. I need new friends.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “You mother-f–” “Yes, actually, I am. All part of the job.”

24. “You mother-f–” “Yes, actually, I am. All part of the job.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “The cold never bothers me when I’m filled with the hot soup of bad souls. Nevertheless I make a show of shivering. Chi strips off his leather vest and I hold it as he peels off his hoodie, pulling his shirt up with it. I get an eyeful of carved six-pack abs and bite back a whistle. Demon-hunting must be good for the physique. The looks of an angel and yet all it makes me want to do is sin.”

25. “The cold never bothers me when I’m filled with the hot soup of bad souls. Nevertheless I make a show of shivering. Chi strips off his leather vest and I hold it as he peels off his hoodie, pulling his shirt up with it. I get an eyeful of carved six-pack abs and bite back a whistle. Demon-hunting must be good for the physique. The looks of an angel and yet all it makes me want to do is sin.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “Oooooh, don’t make her mad!” the leader gasps around his laughter.”

26. “Oooooh, don’t make her mad!” the leader gasps around his laughter.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “My teeth rip skin; my jaws snap bones. I am fast, lightning-fast, snuff – oh-was-that-your-life? – oh-was-that-your-life? – fast.”

27. “My teeth rip skin; my jaws snap bones. I am fast, lightning-fast, snuff – oh-was-that-your-life? – oh-was-that-your-life? – fast.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “What a foolish thing, the human heart, being both fragile and reckless. No wonder we spend such an inordinate amount of time in pain.”

28. “What a foolish thing, the human heart, being both fragile and reckless. No wonder we spend such an inordinate amount of time in pain.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “I eye the three of them, considering. They’ll need a lesson in discretion before I go. Not a lethal lesson. Mom wouldn’t like that.”

29. “I eye the three of them, considering. They’ll need a lesson in discretion before I go. Not a lethal lesson. Mom wouldn’t like that.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “And, lastly, there’s a small pack of wide-eyed innocents in awe of my Beacon-ness who follow me around expecting me to perform a miracle any minute. Sometimes I screw up my face like I’m trying. Or constipated.”

30. “And, lastly, there’s a small pack of wide-eyed innocents in awe of my Beacon-ness who follow me around expecting me to perform a miracle any minute. Sometimes I screw up my face like I’m trying. Or constipated.”

— Eliza Crewe

Eliza Crewe Quote: “Superhero Meda establishing gender-equality one almost-kiss at a time!”

31. “Superhero Meda establishing gender-equality one almost-kiss at a time!”

— Eliza Crewe

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