Top 150 Elvis Costello Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “The truth can’t hurt you, it’s just like the dark. It scares you witless, but in time you see things clear and stark.”

— Elvis Costello

2. “I used to be disgusted; now I try to be amused.”

— Elvis Costello

3. “I love you more than anything in this world. I don’t expect that will last.”

— Elvis Costello

4. “Good manners and bad breath will get you nowhere.”

— Elvis Costello

5. “She said she was working for the ABC news, it was as much of the alphabet as she knew how to use.”

— Elvis Costello

6. “And I’m up while the dawn is breaking, even though my heart is aching. I should be drinking a toast to absent friends instead of these comedians.”

— Elvis Costello

7. “Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve when your remarks are off the cuff.”

— Elvis Costello

8. “I feel like a juggler running out of hands.”

— Elvis Costello

9. “She’s filing her nails while they are dragging the lake.”

— Elvis Costello

10. “History repeats the old conceits, the glib replies, the same defeats.”

— Elvis Costello

11. “Was it a millionaire who said, “Imagine no possessions”?”

— Elvis Costello

12. “There are five things to write songs about: I’m leaving you. You’re leaving me. I want you. You don’t want me. I believe in something. Five subjects, and 12 notes. For all that, we musicians do pretty well.”

— Elvis Costello

13. “We’re all just animals. That’s all we are, and everything else is just an elaborate justification of our instincts. That’s where music comes from. And romantic poetry. And bad novels.”

— Elvis Costello

14. “When in doubt, play track 4 – it is usually the one you want.”

— Elvis Costello

15. “Morrissey writes wonderful song titles, but sadly he often forgets to write the song.”

— Elvis Costello

16. “It’s the stupid details that my heart is breaking for.”

— Elvis Costello

17. “I can’t say anymore than I love you. Anything else would be a waste of breath.”

— Elvis Costello

18. “I’m a man with a mission in two or three editions And I’m giving you a longing look Everyday, everyday, everyday I write the book.”

— Elvis Costello

19. “You’ll never be alone in the bone orchard.”

— Elvis Costello

20. “I find it to be the ultimate backhanded compliment when you are compared against yourself.”

— Elvis Costello

21. “What do we care, if the world is a joke? We’ll give it a big kiss, we’ll give it a poke. Death wears a big hat cause he’s a big bloke.”

— Elvis Costello

22. “It’s a dangerous game that comedy plays. Sometimes it tells you the truth; sometimes it delays it.”

— Elvis Costello

23. “Your mind is made up but your mouth is undone.”

— Elvis Costello

24. “You can be addicted to misery the same way as you can be addicted to drugs.”

— Elvis Costello

25. “A lot of pop music has come out of people failing to copy their model and accidentally creating something new. The closer you get to your ideal, the less original you sound.”

— Elvis Costello

26. “When they finally put you in the ground, I’ll stand on your grave and tramp the dirt down.”

— Elvis Costello

27. “I’ve worked hard, every single day since I left school. I think I have a Protestant work ethic.”

— Elvis Costello

28. “My ultimate vocation in life is to be an irritant.”

— Elvis Costello

29. “Can a mere song change a people’s minds? I doubt that it is so. But a song can infiltrate your heart and the heart may change your mind.”

— Elvis Costello

30. “Sometimes I write notes that I have difficulty singing.”

— Elvis Costello

31. “There’s so many people to see. So many people to check up on and add to your collection.”

— Elvis Costello

32. “I woke up and one of us was crying.”

— Elvis Costello

33. “She pulls the eyes out with a face like a magnet.”

— Elvis Costello

34. “Days of Dutch courage, just three French letters, and a German sense of humour.”

— Elvis Costello

35. “Even in a perfect world, where everyone was equal I’d still own the film rights and be working on the sequal.”

— Elvis Costello

36. “Theres so many fish in the sea That only rise up in the sweat and smoke like mercury.”

— Elvis Costello

37. “There’s no money back guarantee on future happiness.”

— Elvis Costello

38. “Somebody should clip Sting around the head and tell him to stop using that ridiculous Jamaican accent.”

— Elvis Costello

39. “I’m just the mere shadow of my former selfishness. I crave the silhouette of your kiss.”

— Elvis Costello

40. “I’m not going to get too sentimental, like those other sticker valentines, ’cause I don’t know if you are loving some body. I only know it isn’t mine.”

— Elvis Costello

41. “I wish you luck with a capital F.”

— Elvis Costello

42. “My ultimate vocation in life is to be an irritant, someone who disrupts the daily drag of life just enough to leave the victim thinking there’s maybe more to it all than the mere hum-drum quality of existence.”

— Elvis Costello

43. “Don’t start me talking, I could talk all night. My mind goes sleepwalking while I’m putting the world right.”

— Elvis Costello

44. “Don’t tell me you don’t know what love is When you’re old enough to know better.”

— Elvis Costello

45. “I wanna bite the hand that feeds me. I wanna bite that hand so badly. I want to make them wish they’d never seen me.”

— Elvis Costello

46. “You’re drinking vintage Elvis Presley wine.”

— Elvis Costello

47. “The Internet is overrated. It’s much smaller an innovation than people think it is. I don’t think it’s changed the way anybody makes music.”

— Elvis Costello

48. “Oh I used to be disgusted and now I try to be amused. But since their wings have got rusted, you know, the angels wanna wear my red shoes.”

— Elvis Costello

49. “People tend to repeat the same quotes at me that I said when I was 23. And of course, you say things then, and sometimes they’re ill-advised.”

— Elvis Costello

50. “The long arm of the law slides up the outskirts of town.”

— Elvis Costello