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Top 9 Frank Muir Quotes (2025 Update)

Frank Muir Quote: “Strategy is buying a bottle of fine wine when you take a lady out for dinner. Tactics is getting her to drink it.”
Frank Muir Quote: “The glances over cocktails That seem to be so sweet Don’t seem quite so amorous Over Shredded Wheat.”
Frank Muir Quote: “The speeches to be wary of are those that begin with I’m just going to say a few words.”
Frank Muir Quote: “It has been said that a bride’s attitude towards her betrothed can be summed up in three words: Aisle. Alter. Hymn.”
Frank Muir Quote: “Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude.”
Frank Muir Quote: “The golden rule when reading the menu is, if you cannot pronounce it, you cannot afford it.”
Frank Muir Quote: “A golf ball is white, dimpled like a bishop’s knees, and is the size of small mandarin oranges or those huge pills which vets blow down the throats of constipated cart-horses.”
Frank Muir Quote: “Hotel tea is when you have to mix together a plastic envelope containing too much sugar, a small plastic pot of something which is not milk but has curdled anyway, and a thin brown packet seemingly containing the ashes of a cremated mole.”
Frank Muir Quote: “Some breakfast food manufacturer hit upon the simple notion of emptying out the leavings of carthorse nose bags, adding a few other things like unconsumed portions of chicken layer’s mash, and the sweepings of racing stables, packing the mixture in little bags and selling them in health food shops.”
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