Top 90 Gabriel Iglesias Quotes (2024 Update)
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51. “I want to get so famous that I don’t have to wake up in the morning. It’ll probably never happen.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

52. “I get a lot of influence from pro wrestling. People are like, ‘Oh, it’s fake.’ But it’s not about whether the guy wins or loses, it’s about how he entertains you the whole time you’re watching.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

53. “As a comedian, especially one that works as much as I do, there is a lot of sacrifice. People don’t see that I’m away from my family 46 weeks out of the year. I miss all the birthdays and anniversaries and holidays.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

54. “I got off the plane – I was walking and cooking at the same time.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

55. “I went up on stage, and said, “Why did the chicken cross the road? To check out the chicks.” I was a genius at 10. Try telling that at 21, and you look hacky and stupid. That was the only joke I’ve ever told. Everything since has been character voices, doing impressions or just telling stories.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

56. “Early on when I started talking about my weight, it was self-deprecating; everything was a joke.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

57. “Comedy is my passion. I’m going to do this until I drop.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

58. “Understand that you don’t know it all. You don’t know anything yet. What you’ve been taught is great, but always go with common sense. And don’t marry your first love.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

59. “I don’t get controversial, I don’t get political and I don’t tell you what to do with your life. I just go out there and tell some stories, and people can relate.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

60. “I was very dirty; I was a very dirty comic. There was no way I would have gotten on TV with the act I had when I first started.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

61. “I try not to get political, I don’t want to get religious, I don’t want to get controversial, I just want to have a show that relates to everybody.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

62. “That’s one thing about my shows. I tell people, I’m not a comedian, I’m just a really funny reporter. I put my life out there and make it entertaining. By putting it out there, it helps me to deal with it, you know, so I don’t snap and so I don’t go off the handle when I get home.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

63. “My favorite people to have fun with are police officers ’cause they’re so serious, you know.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

64. “I found that laughter was a form of acceptance, and I really enjoyed that and I just – I crave it.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

65. “I have always been told that I was a funny, entertaining person and have always been told to give comedy a try.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

66. “I’m a big guy, but I’m really simple with the food. I’ll hit the In-N-Out or just the regular buffets.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

67. “When you’re a comedian, the Holy Grail is an hour long HBO special.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

68. “Honestly, I really don’t like acting. I don’t enjoy it. What I do like is going to a movie theatre and seeing my face on a poster. I like seeing my name on a poster. That is cool.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

69. “Be personal, and original. Try to work clean. Stay away from topical material, as it does not allow you to craft it to make it better for later. And always remember that it is the fans who will make you or break you.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

70. “I was not the popular kid in school.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

71. “I have very nice cars. I never get to drive them, because I’m never home.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

72. “For about three years I was performing at one bar in East Los Angeles that was like a mean dive bar. You’re in there performing for drunks or bikers, not the most flattering people. I think it helped build my confidence, because you have to get their attention, then make them laugh.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

73. “You know what I learned about Hawaiians? They’re just blown up Mexicans!”

— Gabriel Iglesias

74. “I see a Latino comic as someone who can only perform for Latino audiences. I cross the board.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

75. “A lot of the comedians nowadays just do comedy as a stepping stone. Take for example Dane Cook. The guy is huge. The main reason he got into it is to do what he is doing now: film and television work.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

76. “I want to be known as a funny comic not just a funny Latino comic. I want to be able to go everywhere and anywhere.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

77. “I go on the road all the time, but I’m only performing for two hours a night, and then I’ll do a meet-and-greet, and then I’ll get a bite to eat, get drunk, pass out, wake up the next day, sleeping the next day, sleeping off the hangover, and then I’m in the next city.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

78. “Stand-up is not just an American thing anymore. It’s global. In some places, stand-up comedy is brand new. South Africa has only had a scene for 15 years.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

79. “Some comics don’t like it when people talk during the set, and it does get a little bit annoying after awhile, but I basically let people dictate what jokes I’m going to do.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

80. “It’s because you alienate half the room talking about sports. Half the crowd will be against you no matter what you say.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

81. “My material never comes out verbatim every time. I always tweak in a line, or tweak away a line, gain a couple tags or lose a couple tags. The timing is always off.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

82. “I know what it’s like to have a family and not have insurance and really need it. As a comic, insurance was one of those sacrifices I made early on until I could afford it.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

83. “Comedians do movies and TV so that when they tour, they sell out. That’s the goal: To get popular enough so the place is packed.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

84. “I wanted to be a comedian, and this is what I’m doing. If I can keep this going, I’m happy.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

85. “Drinking can bring out a dude that has some issues.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

86. “If I’m drinking I can either be the nicest guy ever or I’m the guy you should leave alone.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

87. “Hanging out with comics, all they did was make fun of me.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

88. “Believe it or not, I’ve got a really bad metabolism. One burger and I’m done. I’m not a guy that puts away 10 burgers.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

89. “I almost bought a DeLorean the other day just because. If I see something that I think is cool and I like it, I’ll go for it.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

90. “Finding places to perform was definitely the biggest challenge. Trying to find my voice over the years was a big thing because when I started I was just doing characters and impressions and that was it.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

91. “I know enough football to know that’s funny!”

— Gabriel Iglesias

92. “I see a lot of nice hotels, but I never really get to enjoy the cities, because I have to be on a plane the next day.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

93. “As long as you have a director, that’s your feedback. It’s the director telling you, “Okay. That was great! Okay. Can we add a little? Can you tweak it like this? Can you make it more high pitched? Can you give it a little growl?””

— Gabriel Iglesias

94. “You wonder why I only talk about my personal life. But that’s all I’ve ever done.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

95. “Make sure you’re doing impressions of people that are still relevant, and that everyone knows. Red Skelton impressions are a little outdated.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

96. “The only way I will do a sitcom is if it’s hurled at me, and I don’t have to work for it.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

97. “TV and film for me are not as exciting as the live stand-up show and getting the immediate reaction of the crowd. TV is a lot of hurry up and wait for your shot and less immediate reaction from people.”

— Gabriel Iglesias

98. “Kids, man, they’re way too honest. They’re like mini-alcoholics.”

— Gabriel Iglesias