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Top 8 Garret Keizer Quotes (2024 Update)

Garret Keizer Quote: “So beer is our bread?”

1. “So beer is our bread?”

— Garret Keizer

Garret Keizer Quote: “We inculcate in our children the sensibilities of raccoons, a fascination with shiny objects and an appetite for garbage, and then carp about ‘the texting generation’ as if thirteen- and fourteen-year-olds who couldn’t boil an egg are capable of creating a culture. They grow on what we feed them. It has never been otherwise. The only thing that changes is the food.”

2. “We inculcate in our children the sensibilities of raccoons, a fascination with shiny objects and an appetite for garbage, and then carp about ‘the texting generation’ as if thirteen- and fourteen-year-olds who couldn’t boil an egg are capable of creating a culture. They grow on what we feed them. It has never been otherwise. The only thing that changes is the food.”

— Garret Keizer

Garret Keizer Quote: “Going to school is like going to prison... you have about two weeks to establish your credibility, failing which you’re either a punk or as good as dead. Depending on the school, some students can manage ot avoid those stark alternatives, but even at the best school, no teacher does.”

3. “Going to school is like going to prison... you have about two weeks to establish your credibility, failing which you’re either a punk or as good as dead. Depending on the school, some students can manage ot avoid those stark alternatives, but even at the best school, no teacher does.”

— Garret Keizer

Garret Keizer Quote: “The bottom line here – and I use the phrase with an eye to the mind-set that promotes these ‘systems’ – is that I am increasingly devoting more time to the generation and recording of data and less time to the educational substance of what the data is supposed to measure. Think of it as a man who develops ever more elaborate schemes for counting his money, even as he forfeits more and more of his time for earning the money he counts.”

4. “The bottom line here – and I use the phrase with an eye to the mind-set that promotes these ‘systems’ – is that I am increasingly devoting more time to the generation and recording of data and less time to the educational substance of what the data is supposed to measure. Think of it as a man who develops ever more elaborate schemes for counting his money, even as he forfeits more and more of his time for earning the money he counts.”

— Garret Keizer

Garret Keizer Quote: “Teachers who complain ‘These kids have no work ethic’ couldn’t be farther off the mark. The problem is not that these kids lack a work ethic; the problem is that some of them see no connection between a work ethic and school. None of them would think, for example, to say to a customer at the MacDonald’s drive-up window, ‘Do you think I could get you those Chicken McNuggets some time tomorrow?’ Yet we give sanction to that sort of request when it comes to school assignments.”

5. “Teachers who complain ‘These kids have no work ethic’ couldn’t be farther off the mark. The problem is not that these kids lack a work ethic; the problem is that some of them see no connection between a work ethic and school. None of them would think, for example, to say to a customer at the MacDonald’s drive-up window, ‘Do you think I could get you those Chicken McNuggets some time tomorrow?’ Yet we give sanction to that sort of request when it comes to school assignments.”

— Garret Keizer

Garret Keizer Quote: “I’d probably put those salt and pepper shakers away now, David, because we’re about to be visited by dribbling cannibal psychopath and we wouldn’t want to tease these fellows. Of course, if they’re very hungry, I do have this left arm that I don’t use all that much.”

6. “I’d probably put those salt and pepper shakers away now, David, because we’re about to be visited by dribbling cannibal psychopath and we wouldn’t want to tease these fellows. Of course, if they’re very hungry, I do have this left arm that I don’t use all that much.”

— Garret Keizer

Garret Keizer Quote: “My master gives me bread and beer and every good thing.”

7. “My master gives me bread and beer and every good thing.”

— Garret Keizer

Garret Keizer Quote: “I try to remember what I have too often forgotten to my peril: as far as teaching goes, when all you are is right, what you really are is in trouble.”

8. “I try to remember what I have too often forgotten to my peril: as far as teaching goes, when all you are is right, what you really are is in trouble.”

— Garret Keizer

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