Top 80 Gary L. Thomas Quotes (2025 Update)
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51. “It’s better to admit your weaknesses and make provision for them than to pretend you’re something you’re not and suffer the consequences when your true character surfaces. Caring about not hurting girls or tempting boys you’ve not yet dated trains you toward compassion. And compassion will serve you very well in marriage.”

— Gary L. Thomas

52. “The Bible clearly says we shouldn’t feel forced to marry or feel prohibited from marrying; this is one of those life decisions God leaves up to us.”

— Gary L. Thomas

53. “Finding fulfillment in God is the most powerful antidote to any sin.”

— Gary L. Thomas

54. “When God does not supply our motivation, we tend to major in the minors and minor in the majors.”

— Gary L. Thomas

55. “Understanding the truth is the doorway to new life. And understanding the truth often requires the use of labels. Honoring someone, whether that person is a boss, parent, or spouse, doesn’t mean we have to pretend they’re something they’re not. Honoring and honesty can exist side by side.”

— Gary L. Thomas

56. “The first line of defense against toxicity in the world must therefore be launched by believers who practice self-control.”

— Gary L. Thomas

57. “You won’t hear a character’s friend say this in a romantic comedy. Taylor Swift won’t sing this, Eminem won’t rap it, and Suzanne Collins won’t write it, but it’s true: just because you’re “in love” with someone doesn’t mean you should seriously consider marrying them.”

— Gary L. Thomas

58. “A heavyweight boxing champion who dodges all serious contenders to consistently fight marshmallows is derided and ridiculed – and rightly so. Christians who dodge all serious struggle and consciously seek to put themselves in whatever situations and relationships are easiest are doing the same thing – they are coasting, and eventually that coasting will define them and – even worse – shape them.”

— Gary L. Thomas

59. “I think marriage is designed to call us out of ourselves and learn to love the “different.”

— Gary L. Thomas

60. “Good spiritual directors understand that people have different spiritual temperaments, that what feeds one doesn’t feed all. Giving the same spiritual prescription to every struggling Christian is no less irresponsible than a doctor prescribing penicillin to every patient.”

— Gary L. Thomas

61. “Families start to break down – and marriages often break down, for that matter – when we stop enjoying each other.”

— Gary L. Thomas

62. “I’ve found that obedience to God creates quiet fulfillment in the present. There is a spiritual satisfaction that comes even in the midst of our trials. It is a demeanor that may not be as “showy” as gleeful happiness, but it is much less subject to moods and makes for much more permanent a disposition.”

— Gary L. Thomas

63. “How much would every marriage change if we pursued absolute benevolence over our own comfort, happiness, and self-interest?”

— Gary L. Thomas

64. “Long-term marital intimacy requires accepting this truth: to stop giving yourself to your spouse is to spiritually divorce them.”

— Gary L. Thomas

65. “Like everything which is not the involuntary result of fleeting emotion but the creation of time and will, any marriage, happy or unhappy, is infinitely more interesting than any romance, however passionate. W. H. Auden.”

— Gary L. Thomas

66. “Sometimes to follow in the footsteps of Jesus is to walk away from others or to let them walk away from us.”

— Gary L. Thomas

67. “Discerning someone’s character, true values, and suitability for marriage is hard work. It takes time, counsel, and a healthy dose of objective self-doubt and skepticism. Identifying someone as “God’s chosen” or Plato’s “soul mate” is comparatively easy. You “feel” it in your gut. It seems right. You can’t imagine anyone else. You must have found the one!”

— Gary L. Thomas

68. “It’s sort of like signing a mortgage or buying a business while drunk. You need to “dry out” a bit and think this thing through before you commit the rest of your life to someone you can’t objectively evaluate.”

— Gary L. Thomas

69. “A mask partially conceals, but it also tells us that something is behind the mask.”

— Gary L. Thomas

70. “When we live for ourselves, we become boring. Most of us are simply not interesting enough on our own to captivate someone else for five or six decades.”

— Gary L. Thomas

71. “Givers don’t always mind being in a relationship with a taker because they like to give; it brings them joy.”

— Gary L. Thomas

72. “View marriage as an entryway into sanctification – as a relationship that will reveal your sinful behaviors and attitudes and give you the opportunity to address them before the Lord. But here’s the challenge: Don’t give in to the temptation to resent your partner as your own weaknesses are revealed. Don’t run from what you are hearing about yourself, or push your spouse away because of it – accept it and use it to grow.”

— Gary L. Thomas

73. “Wisdom says we should try to make a relationship work not because we have strong feelings but because it’s a good match.”

— Gary L. Thomas

74. “It’s time to make the most of the one life God gives us, and that means we have to learn how to play a little defense. Resolve today that the toxic people won’t take you down or even distract you. Your mission matters too much for that.”

— Gary L. Thomas

75. “Honor isn’t passive, it’s active. We honor our wives by demonstrating our esteem and respect: complimenting them in public; affirming their gifts, abilities, and accomplishments; and declaring our appreciation for all they do. Honor not expressed is not honor.”2.”

— Gary L. Thomas

76. “Even if you’re a giver who likes to give, it’s exhausting being married to a taker. A taker will suck the life out of you in many ways, and in one sense undercut your ability to minister to others.”

— Gary L. Thomas

77. “Chapter 8 explores Jesus’ famous passage where he warns us not to throw pearls to pigs. Chapter 9 looks at the difference between labeling and name-calling; if it seems harsh to you to call someone “toxic,” you’ll find this chapter particularly helpful.”

— Gary L. Thomas

78. “Getting married is agreeing to grow together, into each other, to virtually commingle our souls so that we share a unique and rare bond.”

— Gary L. Thomas

79. “When she gets into an argument, a humble person considers the fact that she may be wrong and that there may be something she has missed or is overlooking. She is more concerned with walking in light and truth than with being right. Aware of his spiritual poverty, a humble person prays and studies and confesses and asks people to hold him accountable, as he knows he is a work in progress.”

— Gary L. Thomas

80. “Biblical love is not based on the worthiness of the person being loved – none of us deserves Christ’s sacrifice – but on the worthiness of the One who calls us to love:.”

— Gary L. Thomas

81. “To become a servant is to become strong spiritually. It means we are free from the petty demands and grievances that ruin so many lives and turn so many hearts into bitter cauldrons of disappointment, self-absorption, and self-pity.”

— Gary L. Thomas

82. “When a toxic person attacks us, let’s think these words first: I honor my Father in heaven above all things. Pleasing you or getting you to agree with me isn’t my first goal in life. After explaining his motivation, Jesus puts the issue back on the toxic person, where it belongs. This isn’t about me because I’m honoring my Father; this is about you because you’re dishonoring me.”

— Gary L. Thomas

83. “Our motivation and our thoughts about our actions become as important as the actions themselves.”

— Gary L. Thomas

84. “This season in your life can be so productive spiritually if you use it to allow God to break you, shape you, and remake you,” she told him. “We’re always looking at what our spouses have done wrong, but God wants to deal with our own hearts first.”

— Gary L. Thomas