Top 80 Gary L. Thomas Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “A good marriage isn’t something you find; it’s something you make.”

— Gary L. Thomas

2. “Couples don’t fall out of love so much as they fall out of repentance.”

— Gary L. Thomas

3. “If you want to be free to serve Jesus, there’s no question – stay single. Marriage takes a lot of time. But if you want to become more like Jesus, I can’t imagine any better thing to do than to get married. Being married forces you to face some character issues you’d never have to face otherwise.”

— Gary L. Thomas

4. “A Christian is never dependent on the response of others to grow spiritually. It’s our own heart’s decisions that matter.”

— Gary L. Thomas

5. “I wouldn’t be surprised if many marriages end in divorce largely because one or both partners are running from their own revealed weaknesses as much as they are running from something they can’t tolerate in their spouse.”

— Gary L. Thomas

6. “Our Lord has sovereignly ordained that our refining process take place as we go through difficulties, not around them. The Bible is filled with examples of those who overcame as they passed through the desert, the Red Sea, the fiery furnace and ultimately the cross. God doesn’t protect Christians from their problems – he helps them walk victoriously through their problems.”4.”

— Gary L. Thomas

7. “A defeatist attitude kills almost as many marriages as do affairs.”

— Gary L. Thomas

8. “Romans 2:7–8: “To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger.”

— Gary L. Thomas

9. “In this generation, we parents have gone out of our way to protect our children from pain and to see that they succeed. The problem with this approach is that the kids don’t learn wisdom, and they don’t learn decision-making skills. I believe we learn more from failure than success, but when parents keep kids from failure, our children inevitably end up lacking wisdom.”

— Gary L. Thomas

10. “This is the journey marriage calls us to, to seek to understand and empathize, for each of us to strive to become a redemptive partner rather than a legal opponent. If we truly want to love God’s sons and daughters, we have to seek to understand God’s sons and daughters. Men and women, have you ever asked God why your spouses are the way they are? In the midst of your frustration, have you ever sought God’s perspective for what has “bent” them in their current direction?”

— Gary L. Thomas

11. “I cannot promise you that if you respond with a blessing when you’re hurt or wounded, your husband will change. I cannot promise you a life of happiness and personal fulfill-ment, but I can promise you that you are living according to your purpose and calling as a Christian; you are obeying the will of God and there is peace in obedience.”

— Gary L. Thomas

12. “Giving respect is an obligation, not a favor; it is an act of maturity, birthed in a profound understanding of God’s good grace.”

— Gary L. Thomas

13. “Our battle is today. Because of God’s grace, yesterday doesn’t count. Because of God’s hope, worry about tomorrow is inappropriate.”

— Gary L. Thomas

14. “Our wives don’t have to “deserve” it. A Christian husband doesn’t love his wife only when she is lovable. He loves her whenever Christ deserves to be reverenced, which, of course, is always.”

— Gary L. Thomas

15. “What if your husband’s faults are God’s tools to shape you? What if the very thing that most bugs you about your man constitutes God’s plan to teach you something new? Are you willing to accept that your marriage makeover – the process of moving a man – might begin with you?”

— Gary L. Thomas

16. “The truth is, we want to be known; we truly do. But we’re afraid. If you see the real me, will you run away? Am I even worth being known? Will the real me bore you? Scare you? Repulse you? And so we hide.”

— Gary L. Thomas

17. “You won’t find happiness at the end of a road named selfishness.”

— Gary L. Thomas

18. “Christianity does not direct us to focus on finding the right person; it calls us to become the right person. Our.”

— Gary L. Thomas

19. “Lying about what you want out of marriage going in because you’re afraid you’ll lose the relationship if you are honest is one of the worst kinds of fraud you could ever commit.”

— Gary L. Thomas

20. “Contempt is conceived with expectations. Respect is conceived with expressions of gratitude. We can choose which one we will obsess over – expectations, or thanksgivings.”

— Gary L. Thomas

21. “The sad reality is that when we get married for trivial reasons, we will seek divorce for trivial reasons. We need something much more lasting on which to base a lifelong commitment – one that even has eternal implications.”

— Gary L. Thomas

22. “No husband comes in a perfect package. No husband can do it all. Your job as a wife is to fight to stay sensitive to your husband’s strengths. Resist the temptation to compare his weaknesses to another husband’s strengths, while forgetting your husband’s strengths and that other husband’s weaknesses.”

— Gary L. Thomas

23. “Virtue, though often mocked and ridiculed, is as beautiful as wickedness is ugly. Self-denial curiously spawns joyful happiness, while selfishness and arrogance produce desperation and obsession. Being faithful to duty brings great fulfillment, while following unchecked passions eventually leads us to despise ourselves. And the greatest truth of all: There is no higher end, no more glorious life, no better aim, than to live in the fear and favor of Almighty God.”

— Gary L. Thomas

24. “That’s what’s so difficult about Jesus’ call to love others. On one level, it’s easy to love God, because God doesn’t smell. God doesn’t have bad breath. God doesn’t reward kindness with evil. God doesn’t make berating comments. Loving God is easy, in this sense. But Jesus really let us have it when he attached our love for God with our love for other people.”

— Gary L. Thomas

25. “Just when we are most eager to make ourselves understood, we must strive to understand. Just when we seek to air our grievances, we must labor to comprehend another’s hurt. Just when we want to point out the fallacies and abusive behavior of someone else, we must ruthlessly evaluate our own offensive attitudes and behaviors.”

— Gary L. Thomas

26. “Christian life is a journey toward love, growing in love, expanding in our ability to love, surrendering our hearts to love, increasingly becoming a person who is motivated by love.”

— Gary L. Thomas

27. “Done well, marital sexuality can be a supremely healing experience.”

— Gary L. Thomas

28. “The warning behind this reality is that if we make too much of marriage, we make too little of our relationship with God. And when we make too little of our relationship with God, we undercut our source of love, which makes success in marriage less likely. Focusing on marriage too much is, ironically enough, the best way to kill it. Men.”

— Gary L. Thomas

29. “We bring nothing to God, and He gives us everything.”

— Gary L. Thomas

30. “I’m going to ask you to do something that may feel even more painful: when you get close to becoming engaged, put any public announcement on delay for a few weeks and spend several sessions talking through all these issues again with someone else present.”

— Gary L. Thomas

31. “The key question is this: Will we approach marriage from a God-centered view or a man-centered view? In a man-centered view, we will maintain our marriage as long as our earthly comforts, desires, and expectations are met. In a God-centered view, we preserve our marriage because it brings glory to God and points a sinful world to a reconciling Creator.”

— Gary L. Thomas

32. “When our happiness is dependent on what happens to us and when our self-focus determines our daily mood, our joy will necessarily be limited to whatever good thing happens to us. But when we learn to truly delight in the welfare of others and rejoice in what God is doing in their lives, the potential for increased joy skyrockets.”

— Gary L. Thomas

33. “This is the journey marriage calls us to, to seek to understand and empathize, for each of us to strive to become a redemptive partner rather than a legal opponent.”

— Gary L. Thomas

34. “Being “married for a mission” can revitalize a lot of marriages in which the partners think they suffer from a lack of compatibility; my suspicion is that many of these couples actually suffer from a lack of purpose.”

— Gary L. Thomas

35. “Such individuals marry on an infatuation binge without seriously considering character, compatibility, life goals, family desires, spiritual health, and other important concerns. Then when the infatuation fades and the relationship requires work, one or both partners suddenly discover that they were “mistaken.” This person must not be their soul mate after all; otherwise, it wouldn’t be so much work.”

— Gary L. Thomas

36. “If there is one thing young engaged couples need to hear, it’s that a good marriage is not something you find; it’s something you work for. It takes struggle. You must crucify your selfishness. You must at times confront and at other times confess. The practice of forgiveness is essential. This is undeniably hard work. But eventually it pays off. Eventually, it creates a relationship of beauty, trust, and mutual support.”

— Gary L. Thomas

37. “Here’s the reality: many women are led into marriage primarily through romantic idealism, and many men are swept to the altar through sexual attraction. Before you can make a wise marital choice, you have to rid yourself of inferior motivations. The wrong why will lead you to the wrong who.”

— Gary L. Thomas

38. “One of Satan’s cleverest attacks is getting us to pour our time and energy into people who resent the grace we share and who will never change, keeping us from spending time with and focusing on others whom we can love and serve.”

— Gary L. Thomas

39. “One of the best wedding gfts God gave you was a full-length mirror called your spouse. Had there been a card attached, it would have said, “Here’s to helping you discover what you’re really like!” – Gary and Betsy Ricucci.”

— Gary L. Thomas

40. “Marriage is a good thing, and being intentional about your pursuit of it is commendable, not shameful.”

— Gary L. Thomas

41. “When we focus on what we can do, it’s amazing how little time we have left to become consumed by our disappointments.”

— Gary L. Thomas

42. “Heloise learned to love Abelard solely for who he was. That forbidden love brought her nothing but pain, but she would rather have shame and pain with Abelard than peace and happiness without him.”

— Gary L. Thomas

43. “Any mature, spiritually sensitive view of marriage must be built on the foundation of mature love rather than romanticism. But this immediately casts us into a countercultural pursuit.”

— Gary L. Thomas

Featured in: Romance Quotes

44. “Walking toward the music” isn’t a bad philosophy of life. Doors might seem closed, the evening might seem prematurely over, but if you can catch a glimpse of nightlife or hear the sound of music in the distance, why not walk toward it and see what you find?”

— Gary L. Thomas

45. “Let us become intentional to use personal slights, inconveniences, acts of gossip and slander, times of difficulty, and even sickness as opportunities to grow in patience and understanding and humility instead of bitterly resenting each one.”

— Gary L. Thomas

46. “In this fallen world, struggles, sin, and unfaithfulness are a given. The only question is whether our response to these struggles, sin, and unfaithfulness will draw us closer to God – or whether it will estrange us from ourselves, our Creator, and each other.”

— Gary L. Thomas

47. “I’ve learned that we must first create a space of time, quiet, and isolation before we can truly see God. Three elements are necessary for this. We need to first believe, then learn to perceive, and finally receive.”

— Gary L. Thomas

48. “We are told to seek first the kingdom of God, not seek first marriage.”

— Gary L. Thomas

49. “Christian love must be chased after, aspired to, and practiced.”

— Gary L. Thomas

50. “In case you’ve never thought about it, a woman’s body changes much more rapidly than her character does.”

— Gary L. Thomas