Top 35 Graham Chapman Quotes (2024 Update)

Graham Chapman Quote: “Always look on the bright side of life.”

1. “Always look on the bright side of life.”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “We are no longer the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!”

2. “We are no longer the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “We come from nothing, we are going back to nothing-In the end what have we lost? Nothing!”

3. “We come from nothing, we are going back to nothing-In the end what have we lost? Nothing!”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?”

4. “Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition...”

5. “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition...”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “I fart in your general direction.”

6. “I fart in your general direction.”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.”

7. “Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “At that time, a friend shall lose his friend’s hammer, and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before...”

8. “At that time, a friend shall lose his friend’s hammer, and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before...”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “I hope I will have achieved something lasting.”

9. “I hope I will have achieved something lasting.”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “My philosophy, like color television, is all there in black and white.”

10. “My philosophy, like color television, is all there in black and white.”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “One thing for sure – a sheep is not a creature of the air.”

11. “One thing for sure – a sheep is not a creature of the air.”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.”

12. “I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “You know, there are many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane. Some of them were born sane. Some of them became sane later in their lives.”

13. “You know, there are many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane. Some of them were born sane. Some of them became sane later in their lives.”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “Exploding is a perfectly normal medical phenomenon.”

14. “Exploding is a perfectly normal medical phenomenon.”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “In 1945, peace broke out. It was the end of the Joke. Joke warfare was banned at a special session of the Geneva Convention, and in 1950 the last remaining copy of the joke was laid to rest here in the Berkshire countryside, never to be told again.”

15. “In 1945, peace broke out. It was the end of the Joke. Joke warfare was banned at a special session of the Geneva Convention, and in 1950 the last remaining copy of the joke was laid to rest here in the Berkshire countryside, never to be told again.”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Know what I mean?”

16. “Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Know what I mean?”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “A murderer is only an extroverted suicide.”

17. “A murderer is only an extroverted suicide.”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “When danger reared its ugly head, He bravely turned his tail and fled.”

18. “When danger reared its ugly head, He bravely turned his tail and fled.”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “You see, I don’t belive that libraries should be drab places where people sit in silence, that has been the main reason for our policy of employing wild animals as librarians.”

19. “You see, I don’t belive that libraries should be drab places where people sit in silence, that has been the main reason for our policy of employing wild animals as librarians.”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “Oh, you’re in television! That’s interesting. No, I mean, the word television is interesting. It’s a hybrid, you see: tele- comes from the greek, and -vision comes from the latin. It should have been either “telerama”, or “procolvision”.”

20. “Oh, you’re in television! That’s interesting. No, I mean, the word television is interesting. It’s a hybrid, you see: tele- comes from the greek, and -vision comes from the latin. It should have been either “telerama”, or “procolvision”.”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “It’s nice to see that look of alarm on the faces of the others.”

21. “It’s nice to see that look of alarm on the faces of the others.”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “Camelot is a silly place.”

22. “Camelot is a silly place.”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “When Beethoven went deaf, the mynah bird just used to mime.”

23. “When Beethoven went deaf, the mynah bird just used to mime.”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “No one expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise, fear and surprise; two chief weapons, fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency! Er, among our chief weapons are: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and near fanatical devotion to the Pope! Um, I’ll come in again...”

24. “No one expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise, fear and surprise; two chief weapons, fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency! Er, among our chief weapons are: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and near fanatical devotion to the Pope! Um, I’ll come in again...”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “I mean, if I went ’round saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!”

25. “I mean, if I went ’round saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “There is no cannibalism in the British navy, absolutely none, and when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount.”

26. “There is no cannibalism in the British navy, absolutely none, and when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount.”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “Kilimanjaro is a pretty tricky climb you know, most of it’s up until you reach the very very top, and then it tends to slope away rather sharply.”

27. “Kilimanjaro is a pretty tricky climb you know, most of it’s up until you reach the very very top, and then it tends to slope away rather sharply.”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “Oh Lord please don’t burn us don’t kill or toast your flock. Don’t put us on the barbecue or simmer us in stock. Don’t bake or baste or boil us or stir-fry us in a wok.”

28. “Oh Lord please don’t burn us don’t kill or toast your flock. Don’t put us on the barbecue or simmer us in stock. Don’t bake or baste or boil us or stir-fry us in a wok.”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “McGough: I’m sorry. I’m afraid I’ve caught poetry. Mr Bones: Oh really? Well, don’t worry, sir – I used to suffer from short stories. McGough: Really? When? Mr Bones: Oh, once upon a time...”

29. “McGough: I’m sorry. I’m afraid I’ve caught poetry. Mr Bones: Oh really? Well, don’t worry, sir – I used to suffer from short stories. McGough: Really? When? Mr Bones: Oh, once upon a time...”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “We don’t deliberately set out to offend. Unless we feel it’s justified.”

30. “We don’t deliberately set out to offend. Unless we feel it’s justified.”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “Stormy in love, stormy in interviews, breakfast in bed – that’s me, love.”

31. “Stormy in love, stormy in interviews, breakfast in bed – that’s me, love.”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “All ideas come about through some sort of observation. It sparks an attitude; some object or emotion causes a reaction in the other person.”

32. “All ideas come about through some sort of observation. It sparks an attitude; some object or emotion causes a reaction in the other person.”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “Death can really absorb a person. Lik most people, I would find it pleasant not to have to go, but you just accept that it’s more or less inevitable.”

33. “Death can really absorb a person. Lik most people, I would find it pleasant not to have to go, but you just accept that it’s more or less inevitable.”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “I’m afraid I’m not personally qualified to confuse cats.”

34. “I’m afraid I’m not personally qualified to confuse cats.”

— Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quote: “Health care does not worry me a great deal. I’ve been impressed by some wonderful old people.”

35. “Health care does not worry me a great deal. I’ve been impressed by some wonderful old people.”

— Graham Chapman

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