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Top 25 Hannibal Buress Quotes (2025 Update)

Hannibal Buress Quote: “I have weird aspirations. Like, I really want to kick a pigeon.”

1. “I have weird aspirations. Like, I really want to kick a pigeon.”

— Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress Quote: “I applied for a job at Starbucks. One of the questions was, ‘Why do you want to work at Starbucks?’ Uh, because my life is in shambles.”

3. “I applied for a job at Starbucks. One of the questions was, ‘Why do you want to work at Starbucks?’ Uh, because my life is in shambles.”

— Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress Quote: “I don’t even know how to use a semicolon to this day; I use a comma every time. And you know what? If I email somebody and they get upset about me using a comma instead of a semicolon, that’s not a person I want to work with anyway. And that’s how you weed people out of your life.”

4. “I don’t even know how to use a semicolon to this day; I use a comma every time. And you know what? If I email somebody and they get upset about me using a comma instead of a semicolon, that’s not a person I want to work with anyway. And that’s how you weed people out of your life.”

— Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress Quote: “I like burritos more than Jesus because steak burritos are delicious. And they’re real.”

5. “I like burritos more than Jesus because steak burritos are delicious. And they’re real.”

— Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress Quote: “My dad named me after Hannibal Barca, the Carthaginian general who attacked Rome. But nobody knows about him.”

6. “My dad named me after Hannibal Barca, the Carthaginian general who attacked Rome. But nobody knows about him.”

— Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress Quote: “I’m a dumb guy. My point of view is limited.”

7. “I’m a dumb guy. My point of view is limited.”

— Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress Quote: “I’ve been going up and bombing everywhere. It’s great. I love it. It’s hilarious.”

8. “I’ve been going up and bombing everywhere. It’s great. I love it. It’s hilarious.”

— Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress Quote: “There’s a lot of dudes in my neighborhood that have handlebar mustaches. Which is cool if you want to have a handlebar mustache but don’t try to have a conversation with me like you don’t have a handlebar mustache.”

9. “There’s a lot of dudes in my neighborhood that have handlebar mustaches. Which is cool if you want to have a handlebar mustache but don’t try to have a conversation with me like you don’t have a handlebar mustache.”

— Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress Quote: “We were talking about urban youth. And by urban I mean lives in a city not urban as in black like white people use it.”

10. “We were talking about urban youth. And by urban I mean lives in a city not urban as in black like white people use it.”

— Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress Quote: “I love stand-up. I look at it as a way to always stay productive. I couldn’t imagine only being an actor or a writer. Because what the hell do I do when I’m not working? Mope?”

11. “I love stand-up. I look at it as a way to always stay productive. I couldn’t imagine only being an actor or a writer. Because what the hell do I do when I’m not working? Mope?”

— Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress Quote: “There have been times I’ve been out, and my phone battery is at nine percent, and I was like, ‘Time to go home.’”

12. “There have been times I’ve been out, and my phone battery is at nine percent, and I was like, ‘Time to go home.’”

— Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress Quote: “I play myself on everything I do.”

13. “I play myself on everything I do.”

— Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress Quote: “In my hometown of Chicago, I’m kind of a medium deal.”

14. “In my hometown of Chicago, I’m kind of a medium deal.”

— Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress Quote: “I like smoking at home. I like it to be one of the last things I do that day. I don’t wake and bake at all; I couldn’t do that. If I’m waking and baking, then I’m staying inside my place the rest of the day. I can’t start my day off high.”

15. “I like smoking at home. I like it to be one of the last things I do that day. I don’t wake and bake at all; I couldn’t do that. If I’m waking and baking, then I’m staying inside my place the rest of the day. I can’t start my day off high.”

— Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress Quote: “The jokes now, it’s just more stories and personal experiences. And just talking about things that really happened. It’s just becoming more comfortable as a performer, sharing my opinions on things, or things that’ve happened to me. That’s where it’s really going.”

16. “The jokes now, it’s just more stories and personal experiences. And just talking about things that really happened. It’s just becoming more comfortable as a performer, sharing my opinions on things, or things that’ve happened to me. That’s where it’s really going.”

— Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress Quote: “If you want to do anything, you got to go do it. Perform a lot, write a lot, make yourself better. Use the Internet, make videos, create content.”

17. “If you want to do anything, you got to go do it. Perform a lot, write a lot, make yourself better. Use the Internet, make videos, create content.”

— Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress Quote: “I smoke occasionally, but it’s not a part of my routine. I mean, I don’t need it.”

18. “I smoke occasionally, but it’s not a part of my routine. I mean, I don’t need it.”

— Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress Quote: “Social media is interesting. It helps me connect with fans. It’s immediate. It’s a big part of my touring business – getting the word out via Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.”

19. “Social media is interesting. It helps me connect with fans. It’s immediate. It’s a big part of my touring business – getting the word out via Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.”

— Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress Quote: “I like showing different types of comedy – showing that I could tell a story, or showing that I could do a one-liner, showing I could do stuff about music – so just trying to be versatile and talking about different topics.”

20. “I like showing different types of comedy – showing that I could tell a story, or showing that I could do a one-liner, showing I could do stuff about music – so just trying to be versatile and talking about different topics.”

— Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress Quote: “People like to compare something to something that they know. Even with Chris Rock, they say he’s like Richard Pryor or Eddie Murphy.”

21. “People like to compare something to something that they know. Even with Chris Rock, they say he’s like Richard Pryor or Eddie Murphy.”

— Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress Quote: “I’d like to get more bit-acting roles. I don’t know if my talent would allow for a long dialogue, but I could definitely knock out three lines.”

22. “I’d like to get more bit-acting roles. I don’t know if my talent would allow for a long dialogue, but I could definitely knock out three lines.”

— Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress Quote: “I didnt audition for SNL. I sent in a tape to SNL the year before I started writing there, but I got the job there through doing stand-up on Fallon.”

23. “I didnt audition for SNL. I sent in a tape to SNL the year before I started writing there, but I got the job there through doing stand-up on Fallon.”

— Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress Quote: “When somebody mangles one of my jokes, that bothers me more than somebody saying that I’m the worst comedian ever.”

24. “When somebody mangles one of my jokes, that bothers me more than somebody saying that I’m the worst comedian ever.”

— Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress Quote: “When I’m doing shows I don’t need much from a city. All I’m looking for is a good meal and a decent spot to have a couple drinks.”

25. “When I’m doing shows I don’t need much from a city. All I’m looking for is a good meal and a decent spot to have a couple drinks.”

— Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress Quote: “I can work as a writer, but I wanted to do stand-up. And I knew I could, at worst, work as a stand-up. And I like to travel, and I knew I wanted to do an hour special, so in order to get ready for that, I had to hit the road.”

26. “I can work as a writer, but I wanted to do stand-up. And I knew I could, at worst, work as a stand-up. And I like to travel, and I knew I wanted to do an hour special, so in order to get ready for that, I had to hit the road.”

— Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress Quote: “I want to just at least make it weird for you to watch Cosby Show reruns.”

27. “I want to just at least make it weird for you to watch Cosby Show reruns.”

— Hannibal Buress

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