Top 30 Heather Havrilesky Quotes (2024 Update)

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “The more I have, The more I realize that all that matters is the small discoveries, the little interactions, the improvised, messy, glued-together moments that lie at the centre of our happiness. Everything else is just a distraction.”

1. “The more I have, The more I realize that all that matters is the small discoveries, the little interactions, the improvised, messy, glued-together moments that lie at the centre of our happiness. Everything else is just a distraction.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “Other people will always appear to move with dedication and consequence. How else does a person behave when people are watching?”

2. “Other people will always appear to move with dedication and consequence. How else does a person behave when people are watching?”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “I used to admire people who could hang with anything. Now the women I admire the most are women who never pretend to be different than they are. Women like that express their anger. They admit when they’re down. They don’t beat themselves up over their bad moods. They allow themselves to be grumpy sometimes. They grant themselves the right to be grouchy, or to say nothing, or to decline your offer without a lengthy explanation.”

3. “I used to admire people who could hang with anything. Now the women I admire the most are women who never pretend to be different than they are. Women like that express their anger. They admit when they’re down. They don’t beat themselves up over their bad moods. They allow themselves to be grumpy sometimes. They grant themselves the right to be grouchy, or to say nothing, or to decline your offer without a lengthy explanation.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “It’s not easy to do the things you dream of doing. Sometimes it’s not that easy just to get up in the morning. That’s how it is for everyone.”

4. “It’s not easy to do the things you dream of doing. Sometimes it’s not that easy just to get up in the morning. That’s how it is for everyone.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “A century ago, survival was the main event. Longing was an accepted part of existence. Today, the inability to achieve happiness or fit in with the herd is treated as a kind of moral failure.”

5. “A century ago, survival was the main event. Longing was an accepted part of existence. Today, the inability to achieve happiness or fit in with the herd is treated as a kind of moral failure.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “Yet this chirpy insistence on positivity has a strange way of enhancing the dread and anxiety and melancholy that lie just beneath the surface of things.”

6. “Yet this chirpy insistence on positivity has a strange way of enhancing the dread and anxiety and melancholy that lie just beneath the surface of things.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “Many of us learn to construct a clear and precise vision of what we want, but we’re never taught how to enjoy what we actually have. There will always be more victories to strive for, more strangers to charm, more images to collect and pin to our vision boards. It’s hard to want what we have; it’s far easier to want everything in the world.”

7. “Many of us learn to construct a clear and precise vision of what we want, but we’re never taught how to enjoy what we actually have. There will always be more victories to strive for, more strangers to charm, more images to collect and pin to our vision boards. It’s hard to want what we have; it’s far easier to want everything in the world.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “They treat each other the way Mozart’s father treated him. They say to each other, “Whatever is here, even when it feels a little dark, even when it confuses me, I have chosen it as divine.”

8. “They treat each other the way Mozart’s father treated him. They say to each other, “Whatever is here, even when it feels a little dark, even when it confuses me, I have chosen it as divine.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “You are a nice person, and you’re also full of anger. You’re a walking tangle of contradictions. That’s okay. Most of us are like that. Women, most of all. How could we not be? People want us to be sexy warriors who roll over and play dead on command. They want us to be flirty burlesque dancers in burkas, aggressive conquistadors with cookies in the oven, Dorothy Parker meets Dorothy Gale, Sandra Bernhard meets Sandra Dee, Kristen Stewart meets Martha Stewart.”

9. “You are a nice person, and you’re also full of anger. You’re a walking tangle of contradictions. That’s okay. Most of us are like that. Women, most of all. How could we not be? People want us to be sexy warriors who roll over and play dead on command. They want us to be flirty burlesque dancers in burkas, aggressive conquistadors with cookies in the oven, Dorothy Parker meets Dorothy Gale, Sandra Bernhard meets Sandra Dee, Kristen Stewart meets Martha Stewart.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “We are called to plant these seeds in our world: to dare to tell every living soul that they already matter, that their seemingly mundane lives are a slowly unfolding mystery, that their small choices and acts of generosity are vitally important.”

10. “We are called to plant these seeds in our world: to dare to tell every living soul that they already matter, that their seemingly mundane lives are a slowly unfolding mystery, that their small choices and acts of generosity are vitally important.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “Adults are not always so fun. Sometimes I go to parties filled with mature people who know things and act their age and I”m quickly filled with despair. I walk in the door and greet the host and mill about, but in the pit of my stomach I know that leaving home was a mistake. I will not be surprised and delighted. I will not learn something new. I will not even enjoy the sound of my own voice. I will be lulled into a state of excruciating paralysis and self-hatred and other-people hatred.”

11. “Adults are not always so fun. Sometimes I go to parties filled with mature people who know things and act their age and I”m quickly filled with despair. I walk in the door and greet the host and mill about, but in the pit of my stomach I know that leaving home was a mistake. I will not be surprised and delighted. I will not learn something new. I will not even enjoy the sound of my own voice. I will be lulled into a state of excruciating paralysis and self-hatred and other-people hatred.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “The past is reduced to a slide show. The future is a YouTube video that won’t load.”

12. “The past is reduced to a slide show. The future is a YouTube video that won’t load.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “When everything is bent into a jolly shape, everything feels more mournful than it should.”

13. “When everything is bent into a jolly shape, everything feels more mournful than it should.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “We are encouraged to believe in our dreams, but we are assumed to dream in the same limited palette as everyone else. We are to view ourselves as unique snowflakes only as it facilitates more efficiently melting ourselves into bottled spring water.”

14. “We are encouraged to believe in our dreams, but we are assumed to dream in the same limited palette as everyone else. We are to view ourselves as unique snowflakes only as it facilitates more efficiently melting ourselves into bottled spring water.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “Have lunch, have coffee, and continue to work hard on the things that won’t dry up and blow away: Your health, your career, your little art projects or poems or essays, your odd new half-interests, the complicated folds of your sensitivity and your darkness, and your belief in a world that wants you to be happy.”

15. “Have lunch, have coffee, and continue to work hard on the things that won’t dry up and blow away: Your health, your career, your little art projects or poems or essays, your odd new half-interests, the complicated folds of your sensitivity and your darkness, and your belief in a world that wants you to be happy.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “It takes work to shift your focus from the smudges on the window to the view outside.”

16. “It takes work to shift your focus from the smudges on the window to the view outside.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “Day in and day out, you are pestered by Barney the Dinosaur, singing about how much everyone loves everyone else and demanding that you turn your frown upside down, in a voice so drippily emphatic that you might like to fashion a shiv out of your sippy cup and gut that purple menace where he stands.”

17. “Day in and day out, you are pestered by Barney the Dinosaur, singing about how much everyone loves everyone else and demanding that you turn your frown upside down, in a voice so drippily emphatic that you might like to fashion a shiv out of your sippy cup and gut that purple menace where he stands.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “Even natural wonders aren’t what they used to be, because nothing can be experienced without commentary. In the 1950s, we worried about how TV would affect our culture. Now our entire lives are a terrible talk show that we can’t turn off. It often feels like we’re struggling to find ourselves and each other in a crowded, noisy room. We are plagued, around the clock, by the shouting and confusion and fake intimacy of the global community, mid-nervous breakdown.”

18. “Even natural wonders aren’t what they used to be, because nothing can be experienced without commentary. In the 1950s, we worried about how TV would affect our culture. Now our entire lives are a terrible talk show that we can’t turn off. It often feels like we’re struggling to find ourselves and each other in a crowded, noisy room. We are plagued, around the clock, by the shouting and confusion and fake intimacy of the global community, mid-nervous breakdown.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “Rather than a tale of greed, the history of luxury could more accurately be read as a record of emotional trauma,” writes Alain de Botton in his book Status Anxiety, efficiently summing up Draper, Grey, and Trump in one blow. “It is the legacy of those who have felt pressured by the disdain of others to add an extraordinary amount to their bare selves in order to signal that they too may lay a claim to love.”

19. “Rather than a tale of greed, the history of luxury could more accurately be read as a record of emotional trauma,” writes Alain de Botton in his book Status Anxiety, efficiently summing up Draper, Grey, and Trump in one blow. “It is the legacy of those who have felt pressured by the disdain of others to add an extraordinary amount to their bare selves in order to signal that they too may lay a claim to love.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “The question isn’t whether or not your stuff sparks joy. The question is: Can you spark joy all by yourself?”

20. “The question isn’t whether or not your stuff sparks joy. The question is: Can you spark joy all by yourself?”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “Spending more money ensures greater happiness. This is the confused thinking of the duped consumer.”

21. “Spending more money ensures greater happiness. This is the confused thinking of the duped consumer.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “It takes hard work to say, “This is how I am,” in a calm voice, without anxiously addressing how you should be.”

22. “It takes hard work to say, “This is how I am,” in a calm voice, without anxiously addressing how you should be.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “And maybe when he died, he didn’t think, “Is this all I get?” the way we, the narrow-minded living, might imagine, in the face of such a premature death. Maybe he thought, “I lived a rich life. I embraced what I was given, and it was incredible.”

23. “And maybe when he died, he didn’t think, “Is this all I get?” the way we, the narrow-minded living, might imagine, in the face of such a premature death. Maybe he thought, “I lived a rich life. I embraced what I was given, and it was incredible.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “Shame creates imaginary worlds inside your head. This haunted house you’re creating is forged from your shame. No one else can see it, so you keep trying to describe it to them. You find ways to say, “You don’t want any part of this mess. I’m mediocre, aging rapidly, and poor. Do yourself a favor and leave me behind.” You want to be left behind, though. That way, no one bears witness to what you’ve become.”

24. “Shame creates imaginary worlds inside your head. This haunted house you’re creating is forged from your shame. No one else can see it, so you keep trying to describe it to them. You find ways to say, “You don’t want any part of this mess. I’m mediocre, aging rapidly, and poor. Do yourself a favor and leave me behind.” You want to be left behind, though. That way, no one bears witness to what you’ve become.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “Being raw means connecting to other people’s trials and noticing how we all have to find our own answers; we all have to learn how to show up and breathe without grasping for something to deliver us from our own pain. When you resist your own rawness and pain, you only create more pain for yourself.”

25. “Being raw means connecting to other people’s trials and noticing how we all have to find our own answers; we all have to learn how to show up and breathe without grasping for something to deliver us from our own pain. When you resist your own rawness and pain, you only create more pain for yourself.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “This world is filled with people who think feeling less, being indifferent, makes you strong. Don’t believe that. Be one of the smart, thoughtful people who stands up for sensitive people. When you stand up for sensitive, hurt people, you’re also standing up for vulnerability and authenticity and true love.”

26. “This world is filled with people who think feeling less, being indifferent, makes you strong. Don’t believe that. Be one of the smart, thoughtful people who stands up for sensitive people. When you stand up for sensitive, hurt people, you’re also standing up for vulnerability and authenticity and true love.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “I wrote this book to explore that tedium, along with everything else that marriage brings: the feeling of safety, the creeping darkness, the raw fear and suspense of growing older together, the tiny repeating irritations, the rushes of love, the satisfactions of companionship, the unexpected rage of recognizing that your partner will probably never change. And in writing this book, I discovered new layers within my marriage and myself, haunting and chaotic, wretched and unlovable.”

27. “I wrote this book to explore that tedium, along with everything else that marriage brings: the feeling of safety, the creeping darkness, the raw fear and suspense of growing older together, the tiny repeating irritations, the rushes of love, the satisfactions of companionship, the unexpected rage of recognizing that your partner will probably never change. And in writing this book, I discovered new layers within my marriage and myself, haunting and chaotic, wretched and unlovable.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “You are weak and raw and broken, and that’s okay. That’s where real life begins. Throw yourself into that rawness., Dive into a bunch of stories about absorbing and leaning into disappointment and loss and melancholy as a way of moving through it.”

28. “You are weak and raw and broken, and that’s okay. That’s where real life begins. Throw yourself into that rawness., Dive into a bunch of stories about absorbing and leaning into disappointment and loss and melancholy as a way of moving through it.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “I wasn’t sure I wanted to spend forever with anyone, least of all myself.”

29. “I wasn’t sure I wanted to spend forever with anyone, least of all myself.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “I enjoy the illusion of a waiting audience. It makes me feel less invisible and irrelevant, and those are maybe the saddest, stupidest words I’ve ever written.”

30. “I enjoy the illusion of a waiting audience. It makes me feel less invisible and irrelevant, and those are maybe the saddest, stupidest words I’ve ever written.”

— Heather Havrilesky

Heather Havrilesky Quote: “Forever is two immortal elves, sipping pink champagne by a burbling stream, then exploring the wild, gorgeous woods around them in everlasting harmony. Forever is set in New Zealand, not New Jersey.”

31. “Forever is two immortal elves, sipping pink champagne by a burbling stream, then exploring the wild, gorgeous woods around them in everlasting harmony. Forever is set in New Zealand, not New Jersey.”

— Heather Havrilesky

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