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Top 20 Heide Goody Quotes (2025 Update)

Heide Goody Quote: “Ooh, beetroot,” Ben said, as he gazed at the salad. “Gotta love beetroot, for making it through the digestive tract. It adds colour to your life today and tomorrow.”

1. “Ooh, beetroot,” Ben said, as he gazed at the salad. “Gotta love beetroot, for making it through the digestive tract. It adds colour to your life today and tomorrow.”

— Heide Goody

Heide Goody Quote: “Remember Sodom and Gomorrah? A city destroyed because some of the men were gay!” “Now, you weren’t there, Andy.” “And you were?” “No,” Michael lied, “but it really wasn’t about sexuality.”

2. “Remember Sodom and Gomorrah? A city destroyed because some of the men were gay!” “Now, you weren’t there, Andy.” “And you were?” “No,” Michael lied, “but it really wasn’t about sexuality.”

— Heide Goody

Heide Goody Quote: “Mr Bark!” she called again. “We’d like to talk about your fish porn collection.”

3. “Mr Bark!” she called again. “We’d like to talk about your fish porn collection.”

— Heide Goody

Heide Goody Quote: “Hah! This one’s fun. Do you want to pick up that pen, sir?” He indicated to Michael, who picked up the pen. “It looks very much like any ordinary pen. Now would you click the top please?” Michael held it at arm’s length as he clicked the top and the pen was somehow transformed into a lightweight pitchfork.”

4. “Hah! This one’s fun. Do you want to pick up that pen, sir?” He indicated to Michael, who picked up the pen. “It looks very much like any ordinary pen. Now would you click the top please?” Michael held it at arm’s length as he clicked the top and the pen was somehow transformed into a lightweight pitchfork.”

— Heide Goody

Heide Goody Quote: “Charged with gross incompetence, Satan is fired from his job as Prince of Hell and exiled to that most terrible of places: English suburbia.”

5. “Charged with gross incompetence, Satan is fired from his job as Prince of Hell and exiled to that most terrible of places: English suburbia.”

— Heide Goody

Heide Goody Quote: “Satan nodded. “People are turning their backs on religion.” “It’s not so much that,” Mulciber said, “but it seems more acceptable than ever now to be religious and to treat people badly. You have crazy fundamentalists in every religion. They hate gays, foreigners, women. You name it, they’ll find you a reason in the bible or whatever to hate it.”

6. “Satan nodded. “People are turning their backs on religion.” “It’s not so much that,” Mulciber said, “but it seems more acceptable than ever now to be religious and to treat people badly. You have crazy fundamentalists in every religion. They hate gays, foreigners, women. You name it, they’ll find you a reason in the bible or whatever to hate it.”

— Heide Goody

Heide Goody Quote: “Yes, it is the end of the world. Yes, we are all going to die. But we are British. These things still need doing in an orderly manner and there is certainly no excuse to get all emotional about it.”

7. “Yes, it is the end of the world. Yes, we are all going to die. But we are British. These things still need doing in an orderly manner and there is certainly no excuse to get all emotional about it.”

— Heide Goody

Heide Goody Quote: “Sorry,” she said, squeezing past. “Off to get myself a man.” “At this time of day?” “Supermarkets are already open.”

8. “Sorry,” she said, squeezing past. “Off to get myself a man.” “At this time of day?” “Supermarkets are already open.”

— Heide Goody

Heide Goody Quote: “Oh, and reward cards. Another insanely brilliant soul-destroying human innovation. Make life a game. Collect points. Earn rewards. Distract yourself from any genuine goals and ambitions.”

9. “Oh, and reward cards. Another insanely brilliant soul-destroying human innovation. Make life a game. Collect points. Earn rewards. Distract yourself from any genuine goals and ambitions.”

— Heide Goody

Heide Goody Quote: “Clovenhoof stopped a shelf-stacker with a left breast called Barbara.”

10. “Clovenhoof stopped a shelf-stacker with a left breast called Barbara.”

— Heide Goody

Heide Goody Quote: “NO, the Library of Birmingham is not home to a shadowy organisation that monitors alien-god behaviour in the city.”

11. “NO, the Library of Birmingham is not home to a shadowy organisation that monitors alien-god behaviour in the city.”

— Heide Goody

Heide Goody Quote: “The owner of this house is a psychotic loony. My mate, the wolf, has just eaten his favourite sheep. Said psychotic loony has gone out with a small army to kill the wolf, not that he’ll be stupid enough to stay within ten miles of this place, and when the psycho returns, I’m either going to have to marry him or find myself dead, dismembered and stuffed in his forbidden closet. I am leaving before they get back.”

12. “The owner of this house is a psychotic loony. My mate, the wolf, has just eaten his favourite sheep. Said psychotic loony has gone out with a small army to kill the wolf, not that he’ll be stupid enough to stay within ten miles of this place, and when the psycho returns, I’m either going to have to marry him or find myself dead, dismembered and stuffed in his forbidden closet. I am leaving before they get back.”

— Heide Goody

Heide Goody Quote: “There were first editions of Lang’s Red, Blue and Green Fairy Books, an incredibly old binding of the works of the Brothers Grimm and a nice imprint of WB Yeats’ Irish Fairy and Folk Tales among others.”

13. “There were first editions of Lang’s Red, Blue and Green Fairy Books, an incredibly old binding of the works of the Brothers Grimm and a nice imprint of WB Yeats’ Irish Fairy and Folk Tales among others.”

— Heide Goody

Heide Goody Quote: “Hail to the Beast!’ Dun. Dun. Dun.”

14. “Hail to the Beast!’ Dun. Dun. Dun.”

— Heide Goody

Heide Goody Quote: “All suffering means all suffering,” Peter said, “and some has been assessed as merely satisfactory. It’s not good enough.” “Surely satisfactory means that it is good enough,” said Satan. “Not anymore,” said Peter.”

15. “All suffering means all suffering,” Peter said, “and some has been assessed as merely satisfactory. It’s not good enough.” “Surely satisfactory means that it is good enough,” said Satan. “Not anymore,” said Peter.”

— Heide Goody

Heide Goody Quote: “Nerys looked at them. It was the sad, affectionate, look of a woman who’s about to have a favourite puppy made into a nice pair of gloves.”

16. “Nerys looked at them. It was the sad, affectionate, look of a woman who’s about to have a favourite puppy made into a nice pair of gloves.”

— Heide Goody

Heide Goody Quote: “NO, Birmingham taxi drivers are not in the thrall of an imprisoned god.”

17. “NO, Birmingham taxi drivers are not in the thrall of an imprisoned god.”

— Heide Goody

Heide Goody Quote: “Actually, Jeremy Clovenhoof decided, stopping outside the door of flat 1a, if there was one advantage to being the devil, it was the horns. From opening beer bottles to ruining perfectly decent hats to using them to store doughnuts, bagels and naan breads when your hands were otherwise busy, horns were the business.”

18. “Actually, Jeremy Clovenhoof decided, stopping outside the door of flat 1a, if there was one advantage to being the devil, it was the horns. From opening beer bottles to ruining perfectly decent hats to using them to store doughnuts, bagels and naan breads when your hands were otherwise busy, horns were the business.”

— Heide Goody

Heide Goody Quote: “Nerys wondered if there was anyone she could really count as a friend. She’d always had best friends at school. A series of complicated affiliations that could change with a swift and crushing blow if one of them wore the wrong outfit or liked the wrong music. A couple of those friendships had lasted into her teens and she cursed herself for messing things up by sleeping with Claire’s boyfriend. And Catherine’s dad. She might have got away with it if they weren’t both at the same time.”

19. “Nerys wondered if there was anyone she could really count as a friend. She’d always had best friends at school. A series of complicated affiliations that could change with a swift and crushing blow if one of them wore the wrong outfit or liked the wrong music. A couple of those friendships had lasted into her teens and she cursed herself for messing things up by sleeping with Claire’s boyfriend. And Catherine’s dad. She might have got away with it if they weren’t both at the same time.”

— Heide Goody

Heide Goody Quote: “Trust a bloody angel to take four sentences and two Biblical references to say, ’bugger me, isn’t there a lot of choice at Tesco.”

20. “Trust a bloody angel to take four sentences and two Biblical references to say, ’bugger me, isn’t there a lot of choice at Tesco.”

— Heide Goody

Heide Goody Quote: “It’s so forbidden that the way there is practically lit up with neon signs. Maybe it is filled with the dismembered corpses of Mr Dainty’s previous wives.”

21. “It’s so forbidden that the way there is practically lit up with neon signs. Maybe it is filled with the dismembered corpses of Mr Dainty’s previous wives.”

— Heide Goody

Heide Goody Quote: “Clovenhoof looked at the man critically. He wasn’t what Clovenhoof regarded as a proper plumber. This young man’s jeans were secured with a belt above the bum-crack line, there wasn’t a cigarette poking out of the corner of his mouth or tucked behind his ear and, when he spoke to Clovenhoof, he didn’t address him as ‘guv’nor’.”

22. “Clovenhoof looked at the man critically. He wasn’t what Clovenhoof regarded as a proper plumber. This young man’s jeans were secured with a belt above the bum-crack line, there wasn’t a cigarette poking out of the corner of his mouth or tucked behind his ear and, when he spoke to Clovenhoof, he didn’t address him as ‘guv’nor’.”

— Heide Goody

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