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Top 25 Helen Harper Quotes (2025 Update)

Helen Harper Quote: “Never trust a man wearing slip-on shoes.”

1. “Never trust a man wearing slip-on shoes.”

— Helen Harper

Helen Harper Quote: “You know what they say about friends and enemies.’ Brochan nodded wisely. ‘Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.’ My smile broadened. ‘Nah. I’m talking about what you call a fake friend.’ I received four identical eye rolls. I made an imaginary drum roll. ‘A faux, of course.”

2. “You know what they say about friends and enemies.’ Brochan nodded wisely. ‘Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.’ My smile broadened. ‘Nah. I’m talking about what you call a fake friend.’ I received four identical eye rolls. I made an imaginary drum roll. ‘A faux, of course.”

— Helen Harper

Helen Harper Quote: “If you’re trying to make the point that I’m childish, thank you very much. The only reason that most adults don’t do things like this is because they’re too concerned about what others think. Or they’re so worried about their problems they can’t think about anything but themselves. Or they no longer see the wonder and joy in sliding across a floor or down a banister. I think that’s sad, not immature.”

3. “If you’re trying to make the point that I’m childish, thank you very much. The only reason that most adults don’t do things like this is because they’re too concerned about what others think. Or they’re so worried about their problems they can’t think about anything but themselves. Or they no longer see the wonder and joy in sliding across a floor or down a banister. I think that’s sad, not immature.”

— Helen Harper

Helen Harper Quote: “You’d think that Ivy, of all people, would understand that but she didn’t truly understand what it meant to be lazy, not like a cat did. It was an art form; it required dedication that even humans like Ivy weren’t capable of.”

4. “You’d think that Ivy, of all people, would understand that but she didn’t truly understand what it meant to be lazy, not like a cat did. It was an art form; it required dedication that even humans like Ivy weren’t capable of.”

— Helen Harper

Helen Harper Quote: “I don’t think I’m in love with you; I know I’m in love with you. We have nothing in common, but I don’t think that matters. You’re always there in my thoughts. Always.”

5. “I don’t think I’m in love with you; I know I’m in love with you. We have nothing in common, but I don’t think that matters. You’re always there in my thoughts. Always.”

— Helen Harper

Helen Harper Quote: “There are plenty of ways to kill your mind but keep your physical body alive.”

6. “There are plenty of ways to kill your mind but keep your physical body alive.”

— Helen Harper

Helen Harper Quote: “They were known to be bloody, ruthless and entirely without mercy for anyone who didn’t meet their exacting standards.”

7. “They were known to be bloody, ruthless and entirely without mercy for anyone who didn’t meet their exacting standards.”

— Helen Harper

Helen Harper Quote: “An uncontrollable urge to giggle overtook me. I tried to smother it and ended up snorting in a most unladylike fashion.”

8. “An uncontrollable urge to giggle overtook me. I tried to smother it and ended up snorting in a most unladylike fashion.”

— Helen Harper

Helen Harper Quote: “I abandoned the plan to make millions from the spell when I realised that people would finally realise their cats are selfish little bastards who only care about themselves. There would have been mass feline abandonment if they heard what their pets really have to say.”

9. “I abandoned the plan to make millions from the spell when I realised that people would finally realise their cats are selfish little bastards who only care about themselves. There would have been mass feline abandonment if they heard what their pets really have to say.”

— Helen Harper

Helen Harper Quote: “The best friends are the ones who you can be away from for months or even years, but then when you meet up again it’s like you just saw them that morning.”

10. “The best friends are the ones who you can be away from for months or even years, but then when you meet up again it’s like you just saw them that morning.”

— Helen Harper

Helen Harper Quote: “Death is quick. It’s the end. And everyone dies. It’s not punishment because it’s inevitable.’ Bob.”

11. “Death is quick. It’s the end. And everyone dies. It’s not punishment because it’s inevitable.’ Bob.”

— Helen Harper

Helen Harper Quote: “Memories are funny things; concentrate hard enough and you’ll start remembering.”

12. “Memories are funny things; concentrate hard enough and you’ll start remembering.”

— Helen Harper

Helen Harper Quote: “If only I could rein in my temper like this all the time, then my world would probably be a better place. Alex.”

13. “If only I could rein in my temper like this all the time, then my world would probably be a better place. Alex.”

— Helen Harper

Helen Harper Quote: “The only thing worse than being talked about was not being talked about.”

14. “The only thing worse than being talked about was not being talked about.”

— Helen Harper

Helen Harper Quote: “Nothing had ever hurt this much before; nothing had existed before this pain.”

15. “Nothing had ever hurt this much before; nothing had existed before this pain.”

— Helen Harper

Helen Harper Quote: “Smoke doesn’t always equal fire.”

16. “Smoke doesn’t always equal fire.”

— Helen Harper

Helen Harper Quote: “Sometimes, when I wasn’t involved, he really could be a nice guy. Alex.”

17. “Sometimes, when I wasn’t involved, he really could be a nice guy. Alex.”

— Helen Harper

Helen Harper Quote: “Harold,’ I called. ‘Harold! It’s Ivy from down the hall.’ The cat didn’t answer. Perhaps I was being too familiar with the familiar. I tried again. ‘Harold Fitzwilliam Duxworthy the Third? Are you there?”

18. “Harold,’ I called. ‘Harold! It’s Ivy from down the hall.’ The cat didn’t answer. Perhaps I was being too familiar with the familiar. I tried again. ‘Harold Fitzwilliam Duxworthy the Third? Are you there?”

— Helen Harper

Helen Harper Quote: “You’ve been reading too many fairy tales.”

19. “You’ve been reading too many fairy tales.”

— Helen Harper

Helen Harper Quote: “I definitely wasn’t in Kansas any more.”

20. “I definitely wasn’t in Kansas any more.”

— Helen Harper

Helen Harper Quote: “After everything that had happened, and all he’d already said and threatened me with, he was flirting. Why me?”

21. “After everything that had happened, and all he’d already said and threatened me with, he was flirting. Why me?”

— Helen Harper

Helen Harper Quote: “The greatest enemy of knowledge isn’t ignorance, it’s the refusal to do anything about that ignorance.”

22. “The greatest enemy of knowledge isn’t ignorance, it’s the refusal to do anything about that ignorance.”

— Helen Harper

Helen Harper Quote: “I’ve never quite understood people who aren’t good patients. I am an excellent patient. You want to bring me hot lemon with honey? Thank you very much. Mop my brow? Please, go ahead. Spoon-feed me? Well, if you insist.”

23. “I’ve never quite understood people who aren’t good patients. I am an excellent patient. You want to bring me hot lemon with honey? Thank you very much. Mop my brow? Please, go ahead. Spoon-feed me? Well, if you insist.”

— Helen Harper

Helen Harper Quote: “The only creature able to evade death temporarily is the elusive phoenix. Although this particular being lives a natural life span, it cannot be killed through unnatural means. Any attempts to destroy it will only result in the phoenix rebirthing in fire. While able to produce progeny, it should be noted that the magicks of a phoenix are unique. There can only ever be one phoenix in existence at any one time.”

24. “The only creature able to evade death temporarily is the elusive phoenix. Although this particular being lives a natural life span, it cannot be killed through unnatural means. Any attempts to destroy it will only result in the phoenix rebirthing in fire. While able to produce progeny, it should be noted that the magicks of a phoenix are unique. There can only ever be one phoenix in existence at any one time.”

— Helen Harper

Helen Harper Quote: “Cleanliness is next to godliness, whatever that means. But the trouble with that sort of approach to life is that it never ends. Yes, you can take time to pick the weeds from the pavement outside and scrub your skirting board and make sure there’s no dust collecting in any evil corners but you had to keep on doing it. If I had to do it all this week and then again next week and then the week after that, why not just leave it till next month? Or preferably next year?”

25. “Cleanliness is next to godliness, whatever that means. But the trouble with that sort of approach to life is that it never ends. Yes, you can take time to pick the weeds from the pavement outside and scrub your skirting board and make sure there’s no dust collecting in any evil corners but you had to keep on doing it. If I had to do it all this week and then again next week and then the week after that, why not just leave it till next month? Or preferably next year?”

— Helen Harper

Helen Harper Quote: “I knew enough of the vagaries of prophecies of doom to know that they were as likely to come about by your attempted actions to stop them as anything else.”

26. “I knew enough of the vagaries of prophecies of doom to know that they were as likely to come about by your attempted actions to stop them as anything else.”

— Helen Harper

Helen Harper Quote: “You shouldn’t fear the person who has practised ten thousand kicks, you should fear the person who’s practised one kick ten thousand times.”

27. “You shouldn’t fear the person who has practised ten thousand kicks, you should fear the person who’s practised one kick ten thousand times.”

— Helen Harper

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