Top 280 Henry Cloud Quotes (2026 Update)
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201. “Hate is part of the immune system of your soul.”

— Henry Cloud

202. “A second chance is not a repeat of the first chance. A second chance is a moving forward to something new.”

— Henry Cloud

203. “When we put our faith and trust in God, we’ve done the one thing that a human can do to accomplish superhuman things. We have reached past human strength and knowledge. We’ve touched infinite strength and infinite knowledge.”

— Henry Cloud

204. “Things can hurt and not harm us. In fact they can even be good for us. And things that feel good can be very harmful to us.” You need to evaluate the effects of setting boundaries and be responsible to the other person, but that does not mean you should avoid setting boundaries because someone responds with hurt or anger. To have boundaries – in this instance, Jason’s saying no to his partner – is to live a purposeful life.”

— Henry Cloud

205. “The law of sowing and reaping is the most trustworthy law of behavior.”

— Henry Cloud

206. “Envy says, “What is inside me is bad. What is outside me is good. I hate anyone who has something I desire.”

— Henry Cloud

207. “Sometimes there is bleeding when you cut out a cancer.”

— Henry Cloud

208. “Your feelings are your responsability.”

— Henry Cloud

209. “As iron sharpens iron, we need confrontation and truth from others to grow. No one likes to hear negative things about him or herself. But in the long run it may be good for us. The Bible says that if we are wise, we will learn from it. Admonition from a friend, while it can hurt, can also help.”

— Henry Cloud

210. “People often think the Devil tries to influence people to do “bad things.” While this is true, the demonic strategy is also much deeper. He tries to tempt us to get our needs met without relationship and without humility, the way he wanted to in the beginning.”

— Henry Cloud

211. “In short, boundaries help us keep the good in and the bad out. They guard our treasures...”

— Henry Cloud

212. “If you are caught up in passionate lust or with someone who is, then chances are that these issues are not being worked out. The lust is keeping you from integrating your soul. Just like a drug addict is not growing when he or she is using drugs, your soul is not growing if you are acting out lust.”

— Henry Cloud

213. “When parents teach children that setting boundaries or saying no is bad, they are teaching them that others can do with them as they wish.”

— Henry Cloud

214. “The idea of submission is never meant to allow someone to overstep another’s boundaries. Submission only has meaning in the context of boundaries, for boundaries promote self-control and freedom. If a wife is not free and in control of herself, she is not submitting anyway. She is a slave subject to a slave driver, and she is out of the will of God.”

— Henry Cloud

215. “If every marriage placed value on holiness, the following would be present: Confession and ownership of the problems in each individual A relentless drive toward growth and development A giving up of everything that gets in the way of love A surrendering of everything that gets in the way of truth A purity of heart where nothing toxic is allowed to grow This would be.”

— Henry Cloud

216. “Many people wish for a different universe than the one in which we live. They want one where every day is harvest time and there are no long laborious summer months to go through in order to get there. And when the harvest is ripe and they are thriving, they want no approaching winters where they see that the harvest is over and a cold death is looming.”

— Henry Cloud

217. “To grow, we need things that we do not have and cannot provide, and we need to have a source of those things who looks favorably upon us and who does things for us for our own good.”

— Henry Cloud

218. “To be purposeful people who can get things done, we need to be able to organize our desires, goals, time, and efforts. This is an important aspect of functioning.”

— Henry Cloud

219. “I’m not an expert in the sociological realities of all the pastors in the world, but I would say that there are some very, very positive things about the state of integrity in church leaders.”

— Henry Cloud

220. “Other Christians may try to tell you what your values should be, but they are not perfect. You must take responsibility for your own choices.”

— Henry Cloud

221. “It is extremely important to be able to make negative assertions. We must be able to say what is ‘not me’ in order to have a ‘me’. What we like has no meaning unless we know what we don’t like. Our yes has no meaning if we never say no. My chosen profession has no passion if ‘just anyone would do’. Our opinions and thoughts mean very little if there is nothing we disagree with.”

— Henry Cloud

222. “You’ll see that boundary conflicts are by no means limited to those who “can’t say no.”

— Henry Cloud

223. “God’s plan for us is to be loved enough by him and others, to not feel isolated – even when we’re alone.2.”

— Henry Cloud

224. “The wise parent lets the child’s world teach him the lessons of life and then empathizes with his pain. Then he learns to respect the outside world’s limits as well as his parents.”

— Henry Cloud

225. “Forgiveness and opening up to more abuse are not the same thing. Forgiveness has to do with the past. Reconciliation and boundaries have to do with the future. Limits guard my property until someone has repented and can be trusted to visit again. And if they sin, I will forgive again, seventy times seven. But I want to be around people who honestly fail me, not dishonestly deny that they have hurt me and have no intent to do better.”

— Henry Cloud

226. “A child needs to internalize a model of someone who has a life of her own. The parent whose life is centered around her children is influencing them to think that life is about either becoming a parent or being forever served by a parent. Let your child know you have interests and relationships that don’t involve her. Take trips without her. Show her that you take active responsibility in meeting your own needs and solving your own problems.”

— Henry Cloud

227. “To best deal with unsafe people, we first need to understand what causes us to be unsafe. For the problem is not just outside us; it is inside every one of us.”

— Henry Cloud

228. “When people are vulnerable to control, they feel that they are selfish for deciding what to do with their own property. In reality, deciding for ourselves is the only way we can ever have true love, for then we are giving freely.”

— Henry Cloud

229. “Blame is one of the gravest problems we face, spiritually and emotionally. It keeps us more concerned about being “good” than about being honest.”

— Henry Cloud

230. “It’s important to understand that your no is always subject to you. You own your boundaries. They don’t own you. If you set limits with someone, and she responds maturely and lovingly, you can renegotiate the boundary. In addition, you can change the boundary if you are in a safer place.”

— Henry Cloud

231. “Some managers are able to let go of the past better than others. Those that have the greatest difficulty abandoning things are often those unable to face reality.”

— Henry Cloud

232. “Is your home a retreat from responsibility, or a place of movement and growth?”

— Henry Cloud

233. “This changes our entire existence, encompassing emotions, behavior, relationships, career, and everything else in life. We want people to learn that way for themselves.”

— Henry Cloud

234. “Just as homeowners set physical property lines around their land, we need to set mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual boundaries for our lives to help us distinguish what is our responsibility and what isn’t.”

— Henry Cloud

235. “When you think you are ready to reestablish a relationship with someone who has been abusive and controlling in the past, bring a friend or supporter along. Be aware of your pull toward hurtful situations and relationships. The injury you are recovering from is serious, and you can’t reestablish a relationship until you have the proper tools. Be careful not to get sucked into a controlling situation again because your wish for reconciliation is so strong.”

— Henry Cloud

236. “Getting people to finally see the stark incompatibility of certain desires is often what finally gets them unstuck.”

— Henry Cloud

237. “Hidden sins and problems are destructive to us, and if we long to grow, we would want them exposed and healed.”

— Henry Cloud

238. “The problem comes when someone interrupts the law of sowing and reaping in another’s life.”

— Henry Cloud

239. “You aren’t alive if you aren’t in need.”

— Henry Cloud

240. “Just as there is good time and bad time, there is good endurance and bad endurance. When we suffer, is the true self growing or is the false self just enduring pain? If we are on God’s surgery table in grace-giving relationships with our real self, time spent suffering will produce completeness; we will grow up, and we will experience changes that heal.”

— Henry Cloud

241. “Victims declare,“The world is responsible for me,” and never do anything to better their quality of life.”

— Henry Cloud

242. “Our ability to give and respond to love is our greatest gift. The heart that God has fashioned in his image is the center of our being.”

— Henry Cloud

243. “The antidote to entitlement is forgiveness in two directions.”

— Henry Cloud

244. “Our kids aren’t an annuity for our retirement, social system, or medical frailty.”

— Henry Cloud

245. “For it is exactly into that prison that Jesus comes and tells us he will break us out.”

— Henry Cloud

246. “Look for people who are “anchored” over time. Don’t go for flashy, intense, addictive types. A Ford that will be there tomorrow is a lot better than a Maserati that might be gone. There are stable Maseratis. But it’s best to drive them awhile, that is, test out the relationship over time, to make sure.”

— Henry Cloud

247. “The ultimate answer, then, to the problem of pain is a person. It’s God himself.”

— Henry Cloud

248. “The sin God rebukes is not trying and failing, but failing to try.”

— Henry Cloud

249. “Begin to be aware of your tendency to make the “haves” bad and the “have nots” good. Ask God to help you to be grateful for what you have, and to rejoice in the good things that others have.”

— Henry Cloud

250. “But, as we all know, this was a lie. The man and woman did not become like God at all. Instead, in trying to become God, they became less of themselves. And this is why we need spiritual growth. We have become less of what we were created to be.”

— Henry Cloud