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Top 25 Ian Holloway Quotes (2025 Update)

Ian Holloway Quote: “Sometimes when you aim for the stars, you hit the moon.”

1. “Sometimes when you aim for the stars, you hit the moon.”

— Ian Holloway

Ian Holloway Quote: “Every dog has its day – and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark.”

2. “Every dog has its day – and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark.”

— Ian Holloway

Ian Holloway Quote: “Apparently it’s my fault that the Titanic sank.”

3. “Apparently it’s my fault that the Titanic sank.”

— Ian Holloway

Ian Holloway Quote: “If I fell into a barrel of boobs, I’d come out sucking my thumb.”

4. “If I fell into a barrel of boobs, I’d come out sucking my thumb.”

— Ian Holloway

Ian Holloway Quote: “This club needs an impetus of energy – but I just feel tired to be honest. I’m worn out.”

5. “This club needs an impetus of energy – but I just feel tired to be honest. I’m worn out.”

— Ian Holloway

Ian Holloway Quote: “I love Blackpool. We’re very similar. We both look better in the dark.”

6. “I love Blackpool. We’re very similar. We both look better in the dark.”

— Ian Holloway

Ian Holloway Quote: “If you’re a burglar, it’s no good waiting about outside somebody’s house, looking good with your swag bag ready. Just get in there, burgle them and come out. I don’t advocate that obviously, it’s just an analogy.”

7. “If you’re a burglar, it’s no good waiting about outside somebody’s house, looking good with your swag bag ready. Just get in there, burgle them and come out. I don’t advocate that obviously, it’s just an analogy.”

— Ian Holloway

Ian Holloway Quote: “I couldn’t be more chuffed if I were a badger at the start of the mating season!”

8. “I couldn’t be more chuffed if I were a badger at the start of the mating season!”

— Ian Holloway

Ian Holloway Quote: “In football you need to have everything in your cake mix to make the cake taste right. One little bit of ingredient that Tony Pulis uses in his cake gets talked about all the time is Rory’s throw. Call that cinnamon and he’s got a cinnamon flavoured cake.”

9. “In football you need to have everything in your cake mix to make the cake taste right. One little bit of ingredient that Tony Pulis uses in his cake gets talked about all the time is Rory’s throw. Call that cinnamon and he’s got a cinnamon flavoured cake.”

— Ian Holloway

Ian Holloway Quote: “My wife runs the house much better than I could so I think she could be a linesman or a referee or even a football manager and that’s the truth.”

10. “My wife runs the house much better than I could so I think she could be a linesman or a referee or even a football manager and that’s the truth.”

— Ian Holloway

Ian Holloway Quote: “I might be in a bit of a Skoda garage rather than a Mercedes garage, but I am telling you some old bangers don’t half polish up great.”

11. “I might be in a bit of a Skoda garage rather than a Mercedes garage, but I am telling you some old bangers don’t half polish up great.”

— Ian Holloway

Ian Holloway Quote: “Paul Furlong is my vintage Rolls Royce and he cost me nothing. We polish him, look after him, and I have him fine tuned by my mechanics. We take good care of him because we have to drive him every day, not just save him for weddings.”

12. “Paul Furlong is my vintage Rolls Royce and he cost me nothing. We polish him, look after him, and I have him fine tuned by my mechanics. We take good care of him because we have to drive him every day, not just save him for weddings.”

— Ian Holloway

Ian Holloway Quote: “It was lucky that the linesman wasn’t stood in front of me as I would have poked him with a stick to make sure he was awake.”

13. “It was lucky that the linesman wasn’t stood in front of me as I would have poked him with a stick to make sure he was awake.”

— Ian Holloway

Ian Holloway Quote: “It’s all very well having a great pianist playing but it’s no good if you haven’t got anyone to get the piano on the stage in the first place, otherwise the pianist would be standing there with no bloody piano to play.”

14. “It’s all very well having a great pianist playing but it’s no good if you haven’t got anyone to get the piano on the stage in the first place, otherwise the pianist would be standing there with no bloody piano to play.”

— Ian Holloway

Ian Holloway Quote: “He’s going to be what?! Oh for God’s sake. Sir David Beckham? You’re having a laugh. He’s just a good footballer with a famous bird.”

15. “He’s going to be what?! Oh for God’s sake. Sir David Beckham? You’re having a laugh. He’s just a good footballer with a famous bird.”

— Ian Holloway

Ian Holloway Quote: “I watched Arsenal in the Champions League the other week playing some of the best football I’ve ever seen and yet they couldn’t have scored in a brothel with two grand in their pockets!”

16. “I watched Arsenal in the Champions League the other week playing some of the best football I’ve ever seen and yet they couldn’t have scored in a brothel with two grand in their pockets!”

— Ian Holloway

Ian Holloway Quote: “I am more than happy at Blackpool and I am afraid the chairman will need a hell of a tub of cream to get rid of me – I’m like a bad rash and not easily curable.”

17. “I am more than happy at Blackpool and I am afraid the chairman will need a hell of a tub of cream to get rid of me – I’m like a bad rash and not easily curable.”

— Ian Holloway

Ian Holloway Quote: “Roy Keane’s like a shark. He has those eyes. You don’t know if he is going to buy you a drink or eat you.”

18. “Roy Keane’s like a shark. He has those eyes. You don’t know if he is going to buy you a drink or eat you.”

— Ian Holloway

Ian Holloway Quote: “There was a spell in the second half when I took my heart off my sleeve and put it in my mouth.”

19. “There was a spell in the second half when I took my heart off my sleeve and put it in my mouth.”

— Ian Holloway

Ian Holloway Quote: “I’ve got four women in my house – my wife and my three daughters – and I tell you what, it’s pretty scary. I keep my head down and if we’re out shopping I try and look in a man’s shop while they make their minds up.”

20. “I’ve got four women in my house – my wife and my three daughters – and I tell you what, it’s pretty scary. I keep my head down and if we’re out shopping I try and look in a man’s shop while they make their minds up.”

— Ian Holloway

Ian Holloway Quote: “I feel like I’ve been on EastEnders all my life and now I’m playing King Lear.”

21. “I feel like I’ve been on EastEnders all my life and now I’m playing King Lear.”

— Ian Holloway

Ian Holloway Quote: “Sepp Blatter and all of them lot Mr Platini I know he was a good player but he aint very good at what he does, I don’t think. I think he’s useless you can quote me on that.”

22. “Sepp Blatter and all of them lot Mr Platini I know he was a good player but he aint very good at what he does, I don’t think. I think he’s useless you can quote me on that.”

— Ian Holloway

Ian Holloway Quote: “My ceiling’s broken, my car’s got a puncture and we’ve just lost two matches. But I’ve got my health and I’ll ask the big man upstairs why he didn’t give us a point.”

23. “My ceiling’s broken, my car’s got a puncture and we’ve just lost two matches. But I’ve got my health and I’ll ask the big man upstairs why he didn’t give us a point.”

— Ian Holloway

Ian Holloway Quote: “I feel like a steaming cow-pat – or a car that’s clocked up 400,000 miles in one journey.”

24. “I feel like a steaming cow-pat – or a car that’s clocked up 400,000 miles in one journey.”

— Ian Holloway

Ian Holloway Quote: “You can say that strikers are very much like postmen: they have to get in and out as quick as they can before the dog starts to have a go.”

25. “You can say that strikers are very much like postmen: they have to get in and out as quick as they can before the dog starts to have a go.”

— Ian Holloway

Ian Holloway Quote: “The dietician is going to get rid of that when he comes in. Although, first, we’ve got to get a dietician.”

26. “The dietician is going to get rid of that when he comes in. Although, first, we’ve got to get a dietician.”

— Ian Holloway

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