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Top 8 Ilya Ilf Quotes (2026 Update)

Ilya Ilf Quote: “Podkolyosin asked tragically, “Why are you keeping quiet, like the League of Nations?”

1. “Podkolyosin asked tragically, “Why are you keeping quiet, like the League of Nations?”

— Ilya Ilf

Ilya Ilf Quote: “Everyone drank to popular education and to the irrigation of Uzbekistan.”

2. “Everyone drank to popular education and to the irrigation of Uzbekistan.”

— Ilya Ilf

Ilya Ilf Quote: “Pushkin wrote Turkish poems and he was never in Turkey.”

3. “Pushkin wrote Turkish poems and he was never in Turkey.”

— Ilya Ilf

Ilya Ilf Quote: “California is the most reactionary state in America. Fascist sentiments are very strong here.”

4. “California is the most reactionary state in America. Fascist sentiments are very strong here.”

— Ilya Ilf

Ilya Ilf Quote: “Now tell me the truth, Lapsus, why do you write about things you’ve never seen before in your life? Things you don’t have the slightest idea about? Why is ‘peignoir’ a ball gown in your poem ‘Canton’? Why?”

5. “Now tell me the truth, Lapsus, why do you write about things you’ve never seen before in your life? Things you don’t have the slightest idea about? Why is ‘peignoir’ a ball gown in your poem ‘Canton’? Why?”

— Ilya Ilf

Ilya Ilf Quote: “Maybe we could make it to Stalingrad on twenty rubles. But how would we eat? Vitamins, my dear comrade marshal, don’t get handed out for free.”

6. “Maybe we could make it to Stalingrad on twenty rubles. But how would we eat? Vitamins, my dear comrade marshal, don’t get handed out for free.”

— Ilya Ilf

Ilya Ilf Quote: “No one likes us, unless you count Criminal Investigations, which also doesn’t like us.”

7. “No one likes us, unless you count Criminal Investigations, which also doesn’t like us.”

— Ilya Ilf

Ilya Ilf Quote: “All we need is twenty rubles to make the treasure ours. At this point we can’t scruple about using any means possible. “Aut Caesar aut nihil.” I choose Caesar, even though he’s clearly a monarchist.”

8. “All we need is twenty rubles to make the treasure ours. At this point we can’t scruple about using any means possible. “Aut Caesar aut nihil.” I choose Caesar, even though he’s clearly a monarchist.”

— Ilya Ilf

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