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Top 15 Irvin S. Cobb Quotes (2025 Update)

Irvin S. Cobb Quote: “Until you go to Kentucky and with your own eyes behold the Derby, you ain’t never been nowhere and you ain’t seen nothin’!”

1. “Until you go to Kentucky and with your own eyes behold the Derby, you ain’t never been nowhere and you ain’t seen nothin’!”

— Irvin S. Cobb

Irvin S. Cobb Quote: “To be born in Kentucky is a heritage; to brag about it is a habit; to appreciate it is a virtue.”

2. “To be born in Kentucky is a heritage; to brag about it is a habit; to appreciate it is a virtue.”

— Irvin S. Cobb

Irvin S. Cobb Quote: “An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that have been permanently discontinued.”

3. “An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that have been permanently discontinued.”

— Irvin S. Cobb

Irvin S. Cobb Quote: “If writers were good businessmen, they’d have too much sense to be writers.”

4. “If writers were good businessmen, they’d have too much sense to be writers.”

— Irvin S. Cobb

Irvin S. Cobb Quote: “If I wanted to go crazy I would do it in Washington because it would not be noticed.”

5. “If I wanted to go crazy I would do it in Washington because it would not be noticed.”

— Irvin S. Cobb

Irvin S. Cobb Quote: “I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”

6. “I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”

— Irvin S. Cobb

Irvin S. Cobb Quote: “A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings.”

7. “A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings.”

— Irvin S. Cobb

Irvin S. Cobb Quote: “Golf – a young man’s vice and an old man’s penance.”

8. “Golf – a young man’s vice and an old man’s penance.”

— Irvin S. Cobb

Irvin S. Cobb Quote: “As I understand it, sport is hard work for which you do not get paid.”

9. “As I understand it, sport is hard work for which you do not get paid.”

— Irvin S. Cobb

Irvin S. Cobb Quote: “Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.”

10. “Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.”

— Irvin S. Cobb

Irvin S. Cobb Quote: “You had to hate the Colonel a whole lot to keep from loving him.”

11. “You had to hate the Colonel a whole lot to keep from loving him.”

— Irvin S. Cobb

Irvin S. Cobb Quote: “A funeral eulogy is a belated plea for the defense delivered after the evidence is all in.”

12. “A funeral eulogy is a belated plea for the defense delivered after the evidence is all in.”

— Irvin S. Cobb

Irvin S. Cobb Quote: “Of all American cities of whatever size the most friendly on preliminary inspection, and on further acquaintance the most likable. The happiest-hearted, the gayest, the most care-free city on this continent.”

13. “Of all American cities of whatever size the most friendly on preliminary inspection, and on further acquaintance the most likable. The happiest-hearted, the gayest, the most care-free city on this continent.”

— Irvin S. Cobb

Irvin S. Cobb Quote: “If a woman likes another woman, she’s cordial. If she doesn’t like her, she’s very cordial.”

14. “If a woman likes another woman, she’s cordial. If she doesn’t like her, she’s very cordial.”

— Irvin S. Cobb

Irvin S. Cobb Quote: “You couldn’t tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation.”

15. “You couldn’t tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation.”

— Irvin S. Cobb

Irvin S. Cobb Quote: “Middle age: when you begin to exchange your emotions for symptoms.”

16. “Middle age: when you begin to exchange your emotions for symptoms.”

— Irvin S. Cobb

Irvin S. Cobb Quote: “Men are vain; but they won’t mind women working so long as they get smaller wages for the same job.”

17. “Men are vain; but they won’t mind women working so long as they get smaller wages for the same job.”

— Irvin S. Cobb

Irvin S. Cobb Quote: “Good motives butter no parsnips, and hell is paved with buttered parsnips.”

18. “Good motives butter no parsnips, and hell is paved with buttered parsnips.”

— Irvin S. Cobb

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