Top 7 Jack Handy Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile from them, and you’ll have their shoes.”

— Jack Handy

2. “If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.”

— Jack Handy

3. “I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it.”

— Jack Handy

4. “Sometimes I think the world has gone completely mad. And then I think, “Aw, who cares?” And then I think, “Hey, what’s for supper?”

— Jack Handy

5. “If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that’s another weakness.”

— Jack Handy

6. “If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let’em go... because man, they’re gone!”

— Jack Handy

7. “During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not putting on your armor because you were “just going down to the corner”.”

— Jack Handy

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