Top 15 Jacob Tobia Quotes (2024 Update)

Jacob Tobia Quote: “Because self-destruction was the only coping mechanism that made sense to me at the time, at the age of eight, I often thought about killing myself. And I’m not talking abstractly. I’m talking vivid fantasies of suicide; fantasies that I never told my parents about; fantasies that I never told anyone about until I sat down to write this book.”

1. “Because self-destruction was the only coping mechanism that made sense to me at the time, at the age of eight, I often thought about killing myself. And I’m not talking abstractly. I’m talking vivid fantasies of suicide; fantasies that I never told my parents about; fantasies that I never told anyone about until I sat down to write this book.”

— Jacob Tobia

Jacob Tobia Quote: “Yes, I may have been queening out in the church musical, but I was queening out for Jesus, so it was fine.”

2. “Yes, I may have been queening out in the church musical, but I was queening out for Jesus, so it was fine.”

— Jacob Tobia

Jacob Tobia Quote: “How can you explain to someone that the foundation of their livelihood creates obstacles for you? How can you explain to someone that something innocuous to them feels awful to you? How can you explain to people who take their power for granted that their power has consequences for your life?”

3. “How can you explain to someone that the foundation of their livelihood creates obstacles for you? How can you explain to someone that something innocuous to them feels awful to you? How can you explain to people who take their power for granted that their power has consequences for your life?”

— Jacob Tobia

Jacob Tobia Quote: “To sincerely adopt the psychology of tokenism, you have to sell your community out. That’s the dark underbelly of the thing. Instead of blaming the institutions, rules, and social attitudes of those around you for the absence of other people like you, you blame your own community.”

4. “To sincerely adopt the psychology of tokenism, you have to sell your community out. That’s the dark underbelly of the thing. Instead of blaming the institutions, rules, and social attitudes of those around you for the absence of other people like you, you blame your own community.”

— Jacob Tobia

Jacob Tobia Quote: “Plainly put, the imperative to “be professional” is the imperative to be whiter, straighter, wealthier, and more masculine. A wolf in sheep’s clothing masquerading as a neutral term, professionalism hangs over the head of anyone who’s different, who deviates from the hegemony of white men.”

5. “Plainly put, the imperative to “be professional” is the imperative to be whiter, straighter, wealthier, and more masculine. A wolf in sheep’s clothing masquerading as a neutral term, professionalism hangs over the head of anyone who’s different, who deviates from the hegemony of white men.”

— Jacob Tobia

Jacob Tobia Quote: “I figure staging a solid wedding is the least I can do after she literally 3D-printed my body.”

6. “I figure staging a solid wedding is the least I can do after she literally 3D-printed my body.”

— Jacob Tobia

Jacob Tobia Quote: “And even though you’re in denial about the severity of your problem, you change your behavior ever so slightly. You don’t pick up heavy things, you stop doing sports or physical activities that you used to love. Those are only small sacrifices, right? And you’re not really injured, are you? Going to the doctor is just a hassle, y’know? It’s easier to accept that you can’t do certain things, that certain things simply aren’t for you.”

7. “And even though you’re in denial about the severity of your problem, you change your behavior ever so slightly. You don’t pick up heavy things, you stop doing sports or physical activities that you used to love. Those are only small sacrifices, right? And you’re not really injured, are you? Going to the doctor is just a hassle, y’know? It’s easier to accept that you can’t do certain things, that certain things simply aren’t for you.”

— Jacob Tobia

Jacob Tobia Quote: “At the time, presenting in this masculine of a fashion didn’t feel like selling out. But that, in and of itself, is part of the problem. Throughout my senior year, when I was faced with obstacles or competitive processes or selection committees, I reverted to masculinity out of fear every time. I feared discrimination at every turn, feared that if I were to truly wear my identity on my sleeve, I would lose everything.”

8. “At the time, presenting in this masculine of a fashion didn’t feel like selling out. But that, in and of itself, is part of the problem. Throughout my senior year, when I was faced with obstacles or competitive processes or selection committees, I reverted to masculinity out of fear every time. I feared discrimination at every turn, feared that if I were to truly wear my identity on my sleeve, I would lose everything.”

— Jacob Tobia

Jacob Tobia Quote: “Instead of playing it cool, my body decided the best thing to do at that moment was to inhale some toothpaste and spend the next three minutes choking on it. Thankfully, they were all three in the shower, so they didn’t realize that their sudden nudity had caused the biggest queen on campus to have a three-minute coughing fit. I still haven’t recovered from that moment. I don’t think I ever will. Sorry, Kyrie.”

9. “Instead of playing it cool, my body decided the best thing to do at that moment was to inhale some toothpaste and spend the next three minutes choking on it. Thankfully, they were all three in the shower, so they didn’t realize that their sudden nudity had caused the biggest queen on campus to have a three-minute coughing fit. I still haven’t recovered from that moment. I don’t think I ever will. Sorry, Kyrie.”

— Jacob Tobia

Jacob Tobia Quote: “He, too, had a few gender nonconforming attributes, ones that I’ve only come to appreciate later in life. When I was a child, my dad was often the one who did the laundry, bathed us, made us dinner, cleaned the house, cut our nails, and did so many of the other myriad details that are usually relegated solely to mothers.”

10. “He, too, had a few gender nonconforming attributes, ones that I’ve only come to appreciate later in life. When I was a child, my dad was often the one who did the laundry, bathed us, made us dinner, cleaned the house, cut our nails, and did so many of the other myriad details that are usually relegated solely to mothers.”

— Jacob Tobia

Jacob Tobia Quote: “He taught me how to play chess and lived to regret that decision, because I became a worthy adversary. He’d wanted a chess partner to beat, not a chess partner to legitimately compete against.”

11. “He taught me how to play chess and lived to regret that decision, because I became a worthy adversary. He’d wanted a chess partner to beat, not a chess partner to legitimately compete against.”

— Jacob Tobia

Jacob Tobia Quote: “Looking back on that Halloween, I missed the mark. If I’d known then what I know now, the solution would’ve been obvious: I should’ve just gone as Grandmother Willow. She doesn’t have a gender. She’s a tree.”

12. “Looking back on that Halloween, I missed the mark. If I’d known then what I know now, the solution would’ve been obvious: I should’ve just gone as Grandmother Willow. She doesn’t have a gender. She’s a tree.”

— Jacob Tobia

Jacob Tobia Quote: “But here’s the remarkable thing about self-love: When you start to love yourself for the first time, when you start to truly embrace who you are – flaws and all – your scars start to look a lot more like beauty marks. The words that used to haunt you transform into badges of pride.”

13. “But here’s the remarkable thing about self-love: When you start to love yourself for the first time, when you start to truly embrace who you are – flaws and all – your scars start to look a lot more like beauty marks. The words that used to haunt you transform into badges of pride.”

— Jacob Tobia

Jacob Tobia Quote: “So the conversation changes, because it’s not just that you can’t go on a run or climb a mountain or take that Rihanna dance class you’ve always wanted to take. It’s that you can’t do your laundry, or reach for items in the cupboard, or grab a book from the bottom shelf. Suddenly, you can’t live a regular life, and you have to admit that your injury is serious. That your pain is real. That you need to do something in order to heal.”

14. “So the conversation changes, because it’s not just that you can’t go on a run or climb a mountain or take that Rihanna dance class you’ve always wanted to take. It’s that you can’t do your laundry, or reach for items in the cupboard, or grab a book from the bottom shelf. Suddenly, you can’t live a regular life, and you have to admit that your injury is serious. That your pain is real. That you need to do something in order to heal.”

— Jacob Tobia

Jacob Tobia Quote: “Growing up, wizards were the closest things I had to role models. Where other characters used the brute strength of their masculine bodies to vanquish their foes, wizards used their wit, their spirit, and their magic. They didn’t need to be strong – they needed to be dedicated. They didn’t need to be brutal – they needed to be cunning. Where others fought with their fists, wizards fought with their passion.”

15. “Growing up, wizards were the closest things I had to role models. Where other characters used the brute strength of their masculine bodies to vanquish their foes, wizards used their wit, their spirit, and their magic. They didn’t need to be strong – they needed to be dedicated. They didn’t need to be brutal – they needed to be cunning. Where others fought with their fists, wizards fought with their passion.”

— Jacob Tobia

Jacob Tobia Quote: “It will likely take the rest of my life to return to a gender that is free of shame. I will spend the rest of my life trying to resurrect who I was when I was four. But perhaps this is what we all do? Or at least, this is what we all should do.”

16. “It will likely take the rest of my life to return to a gender that is free of shame. I will spend the rest of my life trying to resurrect who I was when I was four. But perhaps this is what we all do? Or at least, this is what we all should do.”

— Jacob Tobia

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