Top 4 Jacqueline Novak Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “College campuses are populated by and endless throng of happy, dancing, fully conversational creatures who seem to exist from the sole purpose of reinforcing your utter alienation. I tried to take comfort in the fact that hell is other people and ultimately we are alone anyway.”

— Jacqueline Novak

2. “All depressives should at least consider getting a wise, spiritually advanced geriatric cat. It’s an easy way to be “of service” without moving much. The shelters are very happy when people adopt the elderly creatures.”

— Jacqueline Novak

3. “As for ideas about God, my mom said something about it being a helpful idea to those who believed. My dad said that God was everywhere – and, yes, that included my ear – and that God, along with Mom and Dad, had “made” me. Ew, like a threesome with a polyamorous zealot.”

— Jacqueline Novak

4. “The “kill me now” chat is the only conversation I recall having with God as a child. Not a ton of prayer.”

— Jacqueline Novak

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