Top 40 Jana Deleon Quotes (2024 Update)

1. “Only old maids and women who’d been widowed for over ten years could apply for membership in the SLS. They had a firm belief that the close proximity of men clouded logical thinking. I tended to agree.”

— Jana Deleon

2. “No matter what happens to someone, at that exact moment, something that could be construed as worse is happening to someone else. That doesn’t lessen our own heartache. It doesn’t diminish the fact that right then, you’re dealing with one of the worst things that’s ever happened to you.”

— Jana Deleon

3. “Religion was by and large constructed by men, and I had yet to find a man who was logical. Deconstructing religious rules would definitely be a journey into madness.”

— Jana Deleon

4. “You’re implying that Gertie is too old to be having fun, and that’s wrong. If Gertie wants to dress like a hooker and ride an alligator float down the bayou when she’s a hundred and two, she should do it.”

— Jana Deleon

5. “We’re all broken. Some of us are just in more pieces. It’s how we handle it that makes us brave, and from where I’m sitting, you’re the bravest person I’ve ever met.”

— Jana Deleon

6. “Some say the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom,” Gertie said. “I think the fear of women is the beginning of wisdom. At least for men.”

— Jana Deleon

7. “I don’t think there’s enough time to repair some things. Some things just become part of a person, like their skin color. It doesn’t have to define them, but it’s always with them.”

— Jana Deleon

8. “Did you ever think you had all the answers when you were in the thick of something, but then when you take a step back, you realize you were so busy getting things done that you never stopped to ask yourself if it’s what you really want to do?”

— Jana Deleon

9. “Exactly,” Gertie said. “This hot young stud claiming to be a marine stationed in the Middle East friended her on Facebook. Apparently, he sent her long letters and poetry and even a nude photo.” “Doesn’t sound like anything worth putting a bra on for,” Ida Belle said. “Well,” Gertie said, “in all fairness, that photo is probably the closest Beulah will ever get to male plumbing.” “Are you kidding?” I said. “The Internet is full of male plumbing. It’s like the Walmart of man parts.”

— Jana Deleon

10. “Gertie hit the brakes and tried to stop, but she tripped over a lip in the sidewalk and went sprawling right into the burro, then hit the pavement, her tutu skirt flipped up over her back, exposing her camouflage underwear. Tiny swung his head around to see what all the racket was and launched off the car door, setting off down the sidewalk toward the burro-Gertie wreck at high speed.”

— Jana Deleon

11. “I shrugged. “Some people need more than words.” “Ha!” Gertie said. “Celia needs therapy.” “Celia needs an exorcism,” Ida Belle corrected. I looked at Carter.”

— Jana Deleon

12. “Don’t let the decor distract you,” Gertie said. “I’d have to go blind for this not to distract me.” “Got that right,” Ida Belle grumbled. “Makes my butt itch, it’s so loud.” Gertie.”

— Jana Deleon

13. “God doesn’t care about drinking beer. All those rules were made up by people trying to prevent you from doing something really wrong. Drunks make stupid decisions. If you don’t drink, there’s less chance of doing something stupid.”

— Jana Deleon

14. “To my husband, Harold, I leave the Lower Bayou Motel. You’ve spent so many nights there with other women that I felt you should call the place home. It’s been operating in the red for the last eight years, owes back taxes since 1986, and is covered with deadly asbestos. Nothing but the best for you, dear.”

— Jana Deleon

15. “Here’s the way the law works,” Carter said, “since it’s clear you aren’t smart enough to know. First, there’s an investigation where we gather evidence. Once we have evidence, we arrest people. I don’t care if you’re mayor of the universe. You still can’t direct me to arrest someone without evidence. So either shut up and let me do my job correctly or get in there and clean your own damned kitchen.”

— Jana Deleon

16. “Forrest Gump had gotten it all wrong. Life wasn’t a box of chocolates. It was a box of ex-lax, and I felt like I’d consumed the entire thing.”

— Jana Deleon

17. “Hey, Gertie, something strange happened last night.” Gertie patted my leg. “I’m sure it seemed that way, but things in Sinful are never quite normal compared to other places.”

— Jana Deleon

18. “In my experience, the only thing that worked on crazy was crazier, and I could definitely top anything Sinful could deal out.”

— Jana Deleon

19. “It’s what we do after all that’s been done to us that matters.”

— Jana Deleon

20. “You really got him!” Gertie yelled. “Holy crap! I ate a bug. Jeez, someone get some mouthwash. Gah! I ate another one.”

— Jana Deleon

21. “Sometimes playing it safe can be just as bad as taking risks.”

— Jana Deleon

22. “Are you going to sit down?” Ida Belle asked. “Or am I supposed to drive down the bayou with you up there looking like a Jackie Chan hood ornament?”

— Jana Deleon

23. “If I were there, I’d turn the fire department hose on the entire street, which was probably why it was a good thing that I didn’t work with the general public.”

— Jana Deleon

24. “According to the local gossip,” Gertie said, “Beulah was over the moon for this guy. She even mailed him a pair of her underwear.” “If he was really a marine,” Ida Belle said, “he could have used them as a parachute.”

— Jana Deleon

25. “One time,” Gertie said. “You go out into a hurricane one time and you never hear the end of it.”

— Jana Deleon

26. “Young love ends for hundreds of different reasons,” Gertie said and sighed. Ida Belle nodded. “But usually, life strangles it to death.”

— Jana Deleon

27. “If our mothers are rolling over every time we do something on their list of things a lady shouldn’t do, they’ve been flopping like flounder since they were buried.”

— Jana Deleon

28. “I have a limited amount of faith in humans as a species, and have little problem imagining someone that petty and insane.” Jackson.”

— Jana Deleon

29. “I’d always gone out of my way to streamline my life – removing all potential complication. I suddenly realized that mostly meant not having people around. Clearly, people were the biggest complication life threw at you.”

— Jana Deleon

30. “Walter asked me to marry him again,” she said finally. Gertie gave me a knowing look. Bingo. She’d called that one correctly. “I’ll bake him a chocolate cake,” Gertie said. “It’s his favorite. Might take some of the sting out of the rejection.” Ida Belle looked over at us. “I didn’t say no.”

— Jana Deleon

31. “Gertie sighed. “There was a time when a person could work part time and cover living expenses for college. But nowadays, you need full-time income to cover things, especially when you’re making the minimum.”

— Jana Deleon

32. “My mom always said we can’t pick our family,” he said, “but we can make our own. I’ve got some relatives I prefer at a distance and some friends I’d give the shirt off my back.”

— Jana Deleon

33. “Is this what it’s like for you – you walk in on naked people?” he asked. “The kind of people who you never, ever want to see naked in the first place?” “It happens more often than you’d think,” I said. “No wonder you shoot people and blow up things,” he said. “That is no way to live.”

— Jana Deleon

34. “People tend to annoy me as long as they’re talking, and sometimes when they’re not.”

— Jana Deleon

35. “The thought of having another person constantly in my space and taking his feelings into account every time I made a decision was a level of overwhelming I might never be ready for.”

— Jana Deleon

36. “As much as choice could sometimes be a burden, not having one was far worse.”

— Jana Deleon

37. “Because she chose to get married,” Ida Belle said. “That’s always suspicious as far as I’m concerned.”

— Jana Deleon

38. “She’s got a squirrel in her drawers, you idiot. She’s not on fire!”

— Jana Deleon

39. “He looked confused. “Don’t all of you carry guns?” “Yes,” I said. “But we’re prepared to shoot people. Can you shoot someone?” His eyes widened. “God, no! I’m vegan.” “Eating them is optional,” Gertie said.”

— Jana Deleon

40. “Cats were surly and not required to participate in anything, but managed to convince humans to provide everything they needed. It was the perfect existence for someone like me, who found everyone and everything as suspicious as cats did.”

— Jana Deleon