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Top 15 Jeanne Safer Quotes (2025 Update)

Jeanne Safer Quote: “I said it grieved me to part from anything that mattered to me, yet I welcomed the grief because it meant I had felt deeply and needed to express it. ‘I even had trouble leaving the Parthenon,’ I told him... ’because it was so beautiful and I knew I’d never see it again.”
Jeanne Safer Quote: “What ultimately got me through was my single-minded determination, voiced aloud to myself and recorded in my diary, to discover the causes of my blindness and never to repeat them. Fearlessly pursuing insight was my badge of honor, my route back to self-respect.”
Jeanne Safer Quote: “He talked about her in a way that only the obsessed do. It was always a pressured monologue, and it was always the same. He had to relate every detail, interpreting and seeking meaning in her every utterance or action, like a fundamentalist minutely analyzing a biblical text.”
Jeanne Safer Quote: “You never know how the loss will come – whether he will lose you or you him, but it is a certainty that there will be a shattering involuntary separation. Death is the abandonment caused not by betrayal but by fidelity.”
Jeanne Safer Quote: “I don’t really want to have a baby; I want to want to have a baby.” I longed to feel like everybody else, but I had to face the fact that I did not.”
Jeanne Safer Quote: “Even though it inspires some of the world’s greatest literature, music, and art, obsessive love is one of the most potent and compelling of tortures and one of the most difficult to overcome – especially because it feels beyond conscious control. Tormented lovers try the patience even of those who truly love them, because they sufferers do not desire help extricating themselves though they claim to be seeking it; this is an illness from which no one wants to be cured.”
Jeanne Safer Quote: “Trauma is as subjective as desire, and the meanings we attribute to experiences, as well as the context in which they occur, determine their ultimate effect on our lives.”
Jeanne Safer Quote: “There is no life without regrets. Every important choice has its benefits and its deficits, whether or not people admit it or even recognize the fact: no mother has the radical, lifelong freedom that is essential for my happiness. I will never know the intimacy with, or have the impact on, a child that a mother has. Losses, including the loss of future possibilities, are inevitable in life; nobody has it all.”
Jeanne Safer Quote: “Will is underrated as a therapeutic agent, an instrument of transformation and self-determination – sometimes the only tool a person can call upon in extremis. There is nothing natural or spontaneous about it. To make a blessing out of a curse is a genuine triumph of will, and transforming shame into pride a rare form of alchemy.”
Jeanne Safer Quote: “Exercising will builds esteem from within through action on one’s own behalf; it disproves the premise that only another person can provide it. The result, long in coming and always worth the effort, is the experience of authentic agency in your own life, a sense of self that cannot be destroyed because it is not dependent on anyone else.”
Jeanne Safer Quote: “The longing to belong and to be prized by one’s peers permeates childhood and adolescence and can be compelling and anxiety provoking at any time in life, as the common dread of cocktail parties in adulthood attests. This need – as old and as potent as erotic desire – is a fundamental part of being human; according to object relations theory, we become ourselves by being recognized and loved by others.”
Jeanne Safer Quote: “The world shrinks to include only two people, only one of whom – the beloved – has power. This inequitable distribution naturally breeds resentment and feelings of hopelessness that the dependent person dare not express for fear of alienating the necessary person even more.”
Jeanne Safer Quote: “Some never escape from the imprisoning conviction that a cold or unattainable lover can be persuaded to become warm or attainable if they only discover the key.”
Jeanne Safer Quote: “One of my teachers at the psychoanalytic institute where I trained used to say, only half humorously, that ‘the most important prerequisite for a vocation as a psychotherapist is a depressed mother’; based on my history, I think that a suffering but inaccessible father and a damaged sibling should be added to the list of qualifications.”
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