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Top 15 Jeb Kinnison Quotes (2025 Update)

Jeb Kinnison Quote: “The relationships between Anxious-Preoccupied and Avoidant partners are especially problematic, because their mutually-reinforcing insecurities can lead to a stable but unhappy partnership that does little to help them grow more secure but can go on for years.”

1. “The relationships between Anxious-Preoccupied and Avoidant partners are especially problematic, because their mutually-reinforcing insecurities can lead to a stable but unhappy partnership that does little to help them grow more secure but can go on for years.”

— Jeb Kinnison

Jeb Kinnison Quote: “Typically as the relationship ages, avoidants will begin to find fault and focus on petty shortcomings of their partner.”

2. “Typically as the relationship ages, avoidants will begin to find fault and focus on petty shortcomings of their partner.”

— Jeb Kinnison

Jeb Kinnison Quote: “The best partner is responsive to your signals, and you as a good partner signal only when you really need help. Most of the trouble in relationships is about bad signaling and poor responses.”

3. “The best partner is responsive to your signals, and you as a good partner signal only when you really need help. Most of the trouble in relationships is about bad signaling and poor responses.”

— Jeb Kinnison

Jeb Kinnison Quote: “Dismissives let you know that you are low on their priority list, and your inner emotional state is your problem – when you are with one, you are really still alone, in an attachment sense.”

4. “Dismissives let you know that you are low on their priority list, and your inner emotional state is your problem – when you are with one, you are really still alone, in an attachment sense.”

— Jeb Kinnison

Jeb Kinnison Quote: “To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be. – Anna Louise Strong.”

5. “To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be. – Anna Louise Strong.”

— Jeb Kinnison

Jeb Kinnison Quote: “Dismissives are rarely open about declaring themselves contemptuous of others. But they think highly of themselves and will tell you they value their self-sufficiency and independence – needing.”

6. “Dismissives are rarely open about declaring themselves contemptuous of others. But they think highly of themselves and will tell you they value their self-sufficiency and independence – needing.”

— Jeb Kinnison

Jeb Kinnison Quote: “But lacking a positive view of attached others, they expect relationships to fulfill a romantic ideal which no real human being can create for them, so all fall short and are discarded when it becomes inconvenient to continue.”

7. “But lacking a positive view of attached others, they expect relationships to fulfill a romantic ideal which no real human being can create for them, so all fall short and are discarded when it becomes inconvenient to continue.”

— Jeb Kinnison

Jeb Kinnison Quote: “In dating, avoidants can be charming and have learned all the social graces – they often know how they are expected to act in courtship and can play the role well for a time.”

8. “In dating, avoidants can be charming and have learned all the social graces – they often know how they are expected to act in courtship and can play the role well for a time.”

— Jeb Kinnison

Jeb Kinnison Quote: “Dismissives have poor access to early emotional memories, having built a defensive shield of self-esteem and self-sufficiency that requires negative memories to be suppressed:.”

9. “Dismissives have poor access to early emotional memories, having built a defensive shield of self-esteem and self-sufficiency that requires negative memories to be suppressed:.”

— Jeb Kinnison

Jeb Kinnison Quote: “The Dismissive attempts to limit his level of exposure to partners by manipulating his response, commonly by failing to respond to messages requesting assurance.”

10. “The Dismissive attempts to limit his level of exposure to partners by manipulating his response, commonly by failing to respond to messages requesting assurance.”

— Jeb Kinnison

Jeb Kinnison Quote: “Should a partner penetrate his armor, unconscious alarm bells go off and he retreats to either aloneness or the safety of companionship with others who do not realize he is not what he appears to be on the surface.”

11. “Should a partner penetrate his armor, unconscious alarm bells go off and he retreats to either aloneness or the safety of companionship with others who do not realize he is not what he appears to be on the surface.”

— Jeb Kinnison

Jeb Kinnison Quote: “It’s important to note both partners are capable of adjusting their communication styles to make their relationship more satisfying to both; while it is harder for the Dismissive, who often don’t see a reason to change, they can learn to respond reassuringly more often. Discussion of the problem can help, especially if the Anxious-Preoccupied partner learns to rely more on inner assurance and reduce the rate and insistence of messages requesting reassurance.”

12. “It’s important to note both partners are capable of adjusting their communication styles to make their relationship more satisfying to both; while it is harder for the Dismissive, who often don’t see a reason to change, they can learn to respond reassuringly more often. Discussion of the problem can help, especially if the Anxious-Preoccupied partner learns to rely more on inner assurance and reduce the rate and insistence of messages requesting reassurance.”

— Jeb Kinnison

Jeb Kinnison Quote: “Since they are reinforcing each other’s view of others, neither will get any more secure with time; the Dismissive will accuse their partner of being clingy or needy, while the Preoccupied will accuse their partner of being too distant and uncaring. They are fulfilling each other’s basic need to have a partner, but the partnership will always be troubled by their complementary insecurities. Yet it is more likely to be stable than a Preoccupied-Preoccupied partnership.”

13. “Since they are reinforcing each other’s view of others, neither will get any more secure with time; the Dismissive will accuse their partner of being clingy or needy, while the Preoccupied will accuse their partner of being too distant and uncaring. They are fulfilling each other’s basic need to have a partner, but the partnership will always be troubled by their complementary insecurities. Yet it is more likely to be stable than a Preoccupied-Preoccupied partnership.”

— Jeb Kinnison

Jeb Kinnison Quote: “For if a mother unconsciously wishes to keep a baby addicted to her, there is no better strategy than being inconsistently available. Nothing makes a laboratory rat push a pedal more furiously than an inconsistent reward.”

14. “For if a mother unconsciously wishes to keep a baby addicted to her, there is no better strategy than being inconsistently available. Nothing makes a laboratory rat push a pedal more furiously than an inconsistent reward.”

— Jeb Kinnison

Jeb Kinnison Quote: “The avoidants’ defensive self-perception that they are strong and independent is confirmed, as is the belief that others want to pull them into more closeness than they are comfortable with. The anxious types find that their perception of wanting more intimacy than their partner can provide is confirmed, as is their anticipation of ultimately being let down by significant others. So, in a way, each style is drawn to reenact a familiar script over and over again55.”

15. “The avoidants’ defensive self-perception that they are strong and independent is confirmed, as is the belief that others want to pull them into more closeness than they are comfortable with. The anxious types find that their perception of wanting more intimacy than their partner can provide is confirmed, as is their anticipation of ultimately being let down by significant others. So, in a way, each style is drawn to reenact a familiar script over and over again55.”

— Jeb Kinnison

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