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Top 10 Jeff Ross Quotes (2024 Update)

Jeff Ross Quote: “I’ve actually tried to roast somebody that I don’t like, and it doesn’t go well. Either they’re a bad sport or I’m not as funny as I could be.”

1. “I’ve actually tried to roast somebody that I don’t like, and it doesn’t go well. Either they’re a bad sport or I’m not as funny as I could be.”

Jeff Ross Quote: “How is it possible that Courtney Love looks worse than Kurt Cobain?”

2. “How is it possible that Courtney Love looks worse than Kurt Cobain?”

Jeff Ross Quote: “Charlie Sheen is to stand-up what Larry Flynt is to standing up.”

3. “Charlie Sheen is to stand-up what Larry Flynt is to standing up.”

Jeff Ross Quote: “Comedy comes from pain, and no one knows that better than this woman Roseanne Barr – who was molested as a child. Uch. That poor molester. Roseanne never got over it. She felt violated. She had trust issues. She never got the candy he promised her.”

4. “Comedy comes from pain, and no one knows that better than this woman Roseanne Barr – who was molested as a child. Uch. That poor molester. Roseanne never got over it. She felt violated. She had trust issues. She never got the candy he promised her.”

Jeff Ross Quote: “Life is short. You have to be able to laugh at our pain or we never move on.”

5. “Life is short. You have to be able to laugh at our pain or we never move on.”

Jeff Ross Quote: “Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn’t offend somebody it’s probably not a joke. It’s probably an observation that’s not funny. It’s gotta offend somebody somewhere.”

6. “Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn’t offend somebody it’s probably not a joke. It’s probably an observation that’s not funny. It’s gotta offend somebody somewhere.”

Jeff Ross Quote: “I think Jersey stands alone, and because I’m from Jersey, I never make fun of where people are from. I’ll make fun of what they look like, but I’ll never make fun of where they are from. Jersey is special.”

7. “I think Jersey stands alone, and because I’m from Jersey, I never make fun of where people are from. I’ll make fun of what they look like, but I’ll never make fun of where they are from. Jersey is special.”

Jeff Ross Quote: “My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain.”

8. “My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain.”

Jeff Ross Quote: “When I see a good singer, I get teary-eyed. Part of it is jealousy because all comedians are frustrated rock stars. That’s a fact.”

9. “When I see a good singer, I get teary-eyed. Part of it is jealousy because all comedians are frustrated rock stars. That’s a fact.”

Jeff Ross Quote: “Last time I was in Canada Celine Dion had just given birth to identical twins. Which is quite an achievement given her age and face.”

10. “Last time I was in Canada Celine Dion had just given birth to identical twins. Which is quite an achievement given her age and face.”

Jeff Ross Quote: “Sometimes during my set I invite volunteers up on stage to get speed-roasted and I’m worried that I may have hundreds of people rushing the stage all at once. Luckily I’m a black belt in karate and I can fend them off.”

11. “Sometimes during my set I invite volunteers up on stage to get speed-roasted and I’m worried that I may have hundreds of people rushing the stage all at once. Luckily I’m a black belt in karate and I can fend them off.”

Jeff Ross Quote: “Instead of running for President, why don’t you try walking on a treadmill?”

12. “Instead of running for President, why don’t you try walking on a treadmill?”

Jeff Ross Quote: “I would vote for you for President but I’m against big government.”

13. “I would vote for you for President but I’m against big government.”

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LIFE SPIRITUALITY

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