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Top 20 Jeffrey Bernard Quotes (2024 Update)

Jeffrey Bernard Quote: “The more necessary it becomes to stop drinking, the more impossible it becomes to stop.”

1. “The more necessary it becomes to stop drinking, the more impossible it becomes to stop.”

— Jeffrey Bernard

Jeffrey Bernard Quote: “What a pity people don’t take as much trouble with their own breeding as intelligent racehorse owners do. But then I suppose it is bordering on fascism to think like that.”

2. “What a pity people don’t take as much trouble with their own breeding as intelligent racehorse owners do. But then I suppose it is bordering on fascism to think like that.”

— Jeffrey Bernard

Jeffrey Bernard Quote: “Oh, the self-importance of fading stars. Never mind, they will be black holes one day.”

3. “Oh, the self-importance of fading stars. Never mind, they will be black holes one day.”

— Jeffrey Bernard

Jeffrey Bernard Quote: “One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.”

4. “One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.”

— Jeffrey Bernard

Jeffrey Bernard Quote: “I have stood in a bar in Lambourn and been offered, in the space of five minutes, a poached salmon, a leg of a horse, a free trip to Chantilly, marriage, a large unsolicited loan, ten tips for a ten-horse race, two second-hand cars, a fight, and the copyright to a dying jockey’s life story.”

5. “I have stood in a bar in Lambourn and been offered, in the space of five minutes, a poached salmon, a leg of a horse, a free trip to Chantilly, marriage, a large unsolicited loan, ten tips for a ten-horse race, two second-hand cars, a fight, and the copyright to a dying jockey’s life story.”

— Jeffrey Bernard

Jeffrey Bernard Quote: “I was under the care of a couple of medical students who couldn’t diagnose a decapitation.”

6. “I was under the care of a couple of medical students who couldn’t diagnose a decapitation.”

— Jeffrey Bernard

Jeffrey Bernard Quote: “A lot of girls annoy me who go to university – one girl told me she was going to Oxford because it was something to do between leaving school and getting married. And I’ve got to pay for that being an income tax payer.”

7. “A lot of girls annoy me who go to university – one girl told me she was going to Oxford because it was something to do between leaving school and getting married. And I’ve got to pay for that being an income tax payer.”

— Jeffrey Bernard

Jeffrey Bernard Quote: “I have been commissioned to write an autobiography and I would be grateful to any of your readers who could tell me what I was doing between 1960 and 1974.”

8. “I have been commissioned to write an autobiography and I would be grateful to any of your readers who could tell me what I was doing between 1960 and 1974.”

— Jeffrey Bernard

Jeffrey Bernard Quote: “It’s not name dropping, but not many people can say, like me, that they spent the day with the likes of Francis Bacon or that boring drunk Dylan Thomas. You don’t forget things like that.”

9. “It’s not name dropping, but not many people can say, like me, that they spent the day with the likes of Francis Bacon or that boring drunk Dylan Thomas. You don’t forget things like that.”

— Jeffrey Bernard

Jeffrey Bernard Quote: “The only reason I would have liked to have gone to university is because I like cricket. Not a very good reason to want to go, but as good as any, I suppose.”

10. “The only reason I would have liked to have gone to university is because I like cricket. Not a very good reason to want to go, but as good as any, I suppose.”

— Jeffrey Bernard

Jeffrey Bernard Quote: “I don’t remember ever being full of dislike and hatred for people, like some kids I’ve come across now.”

11. “I don’t remember ever being full of dislike and hatred for people, like some kids I’ve come across now.”

— Jeffrey Bernard

Jeffrey Bernard Quote: “Journalism is the only thinkable alternative to working.”

12. “Journalism is the only thinkable alternative to working.”

— Jeffrey Bernard

Jeffrey Bernard Quote: “When I was a boy, I naively thought that this thing called happiness would be something I would wake up to find every day once I could smoke, drink and fornicate.”

13. “When I was a boy, I naively thought that this thing called happiness would be something I would wake up to find every day once I could smoke, drink and fornicate.”

— Jeffrey Bernard

Jeffrey Bernard Quote: “My misdeeds are accidental happenings and merely the result of having been in the wrong bar or bed at the wrong time, say most days between midday and midnight.”

14. “My misdeeds are accidental happenings and merely the result of having been in the wrong bar or bed at the wrong time, say most days between midday and midnight.”

— Jeffrey Bernard

Jeffrey Bernard Quote: “Although I have to admit I have despised a couple of people simply because they have never had a job in their lives.”

15. “Although I have to admit I have despised a couple of people simply because they have never had a job in their lives.”

— Jeffrey Bernard

Jeffrey Bernard Quote: “I enjoy doing nothing.”

16. “I enjoy doing nothing.”

— Jeffrey Bernard

Jeffrey Bernard Quote: “One of the things that goes with getting older is that one becomes more conservative – and I emphasise that when I use the word conservative I do not mean politically.”

17. “One of the things that goes with getting older is that one becomes more conservative – and I emphasise that when I use the word conservative I do not mean politically.”

— Jeffrey Bernard

Jeffrey Bernard Quote: “There’s nothing undignified about lying about all day and being waited on by servants, sipping bloody champagne.”

18. “There’s nothing undignified about lying about all day and being waited on by servants, sipping bloody champagne.”

— Jeffrey Bernard

Jeffrey Bernard Quote: “It’s one thing to ask your bank manager for an overdraft to buy 500 begonias for the borders in Haslemere, but quite another to seek financial succour to avail oneself of the 5-2 they’re offering on lie de Bourbon for the St Leger.”

19. “It’s one thing to ask your bank manager for an overdraft to buy 500 begonias for the borders in Haslemere, but quite another to seek financial succour to avail oneself of the 5-2 they’re offering on lie de Bourbon for the St Leger.”

— Jeffrey Bernard

Jeffrey Bernard Quote: “But you’ve got to have money for comfort, which obviously doesn’t matter as much when you’re young, but even so. I always like to bloody eat well and be warm. Have a drink when I want it.”

20. “But you’ve got to have money for comfort, which obviously doesn’t matter as much when you’re young, but even so. I always like to bloody eat well and be warm. Have a drink when I want it.”

— Jeffrey Bernard

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